Mother in law stories

[imsys0042]

Anyone have good in-law stories.   Mine are horrible to me but there is a lot of funny stories because they are incredibly dysfunctional.  

My wife took my kids down to her mother's house this morning.   Well apparently my MIL woke up in a bad mood for some reason.   No one knows why.  But when my wife got there she was really off.  Whenever she left the room her father would say things like "She's worse than normal today" or "she is complaining about everything.  The house, me, everything and everyone".   And "what is coming out of her mouth is just foul.   So toxic you want to throw up". 

So I gather nothing much happened for most of the morning.  She didn't say much and was kind of checked out.  So my wife runs to the store.  She comes back and walks into the house and says she hit a wall of stink followed by zones of pine tree air freshener.  Her mother was walking away holding said can of air freshener.   I guess from what my FIL said, she let out a really bad fart and had to get the air freshener .  He and the kids went to the dining room to get away. 

I guess she was really mean while my wife was out because my FIL told her "once you leave I am getting out of here.  I can't take it anymore. She's nuts!"

soon after this, my wife takes the kids and goes.  The way that the parking is at my in laws house, you have to turn around and then take the road out of town.  By the time my wife turned around, her father was already pulling away.  Which is unusual even though he said he would. My MIL is heavy, has bad knees and doesn't do any work around the house, so it's hard for him to get to leave.  I assume he just walked out on her. 

I've been laughing ever since my wife got home.  She's definitely mental.  

Any other good stories?

[iacas]

I can't help you out too much here. My mother-in-law is pretty good as far as they seem to go. She is easily one of the nicest people I've ever met.

[Golfingdad]

25 minutes ago, iacas said:

I can't help you out too much here. My mother-in-law is pretty good as far as they seem to go. She is easily one of the nicest people I've ever met.

She's standing right behind you, isn't she? :P

[Fourputt]

My mother-in-law was a wonderful lady, God rest her.  I can't think of a single off thing to say about her.  

My father-in-law is 92 and going strong, and is one of the finest people I know.  A dryland corn and wheat farmer for his entire life, he was successful in an occupation at which many hard working farmers fail miserably.  I cook Sunday dinner for him every week while he and my wife are at church - today was fried chicken, mashed potatoes and gravy, and steamed and seasoned zucchini.  I wouldn't miss one minute that I get to spend with him.

[boogielicious]

My MIL once gave me a t-shirt that just said, "Eschew Obfuscation". Loved that shirt. She was delightful. She was very smart and loved words. It was sad when she got dementia because she couldn't communicate anymore and would get really frustrated. I would hold her hand and just talk to her as normal and she would calm down. That was a tough time for my wife.

I guess I was very lucky compared to the OP.

[imsys0042]

That's nice to hear that everyone here, so far, gets along with theirs.  My wife and I have years worth of both sad, horrible stores and very funny ones with her parents.   In the end, my FIL is in an abusive relationship and should probably get out.   It's pretty bizarre.  

Although here's a funny story from someone I golf with.  Whole deal where he didn't get along with his MIL and he's a real ball buster.  When she went in for some surgery he literally got a couple of friends in the hospital parking lot with some beers and claimed he was "tailgating her funeral".  Apparently after the surgery when he went to visit she told him "what the hell are you doing here?"   Ah family!

[Gator Hazard]

My MIL is pretty awesome, I like her a lot (which is different than love, you can love someone because of who they are in regards to you, but not really like them).  My FIL is a bit of a character, and he and I have not always seen eye to eye on things but in general we get along.  

[colin007]

Before my wife and I got married, when we were teenagers, the MIL knew we were out together but we didn't get home when she was expecting do she called the local police and had an APB put out on me and my vehicle.

[Wally Fairway]

imsys - your story is very weird.

I can't add any stories, as my wifes mother passed away 2 years before I met Mrs. Fairway

[Patch]

My wife's mother, and father (RIP) were a white collar family. I was from a "dark" blue collar family. I wasn't good enough for their daughter as it were. At family get togethers, I would be ignored to some extent. It took a few years, but after earning  a "lighter" blue collar, I finally won them over. 

[dave s]

My MIL is only 2-3 votes short of sainthood.  Wonderful lady.  Several years back, I'm subbing for for FIL in their couples' league while FIL back surgery heals up enough to resume play.

MIL pushes one right and into the trees.  FIL: "Linda, you were aimed right into the trees."  MIL says nothing.

MIL rolls one on the fairway.  FIL: "Ya looked up again!"  MIL says nothing.

MIL pops one up on the next tee box: FIL: "had that one teed up too high."  MIL:  "Jerry, if you'd STFU I'd be playing a lot better!!!"

Never in million years would something like that come out of MY MIL's mouth ... EVER!

Had a new and higher level of respect for her after that evening.

dave

[imsys0042]

21 hours ago, Wally Fairway said:

imsys - your story is very weird.

 

Yes, there is plenty of dark, dark material.   Lot of stories people you;don't find funny because they don't know the context, but there are just so many stories I've told that people laugh at.  My wife and I try to see the humor in it.   Sounds like most people have better relationships with their in-laws than I do.

Another funny one from one of my wife's friends.   We were at a party and I made a funny comment about my MIL.   So in complete serious-ness this woman goes "Well, my mother-in-law is absolutely wonderful".   So we think she is going to come down on me for bad-mouthing her, or something...but she says "She's ashes."   And we all laughed.

[Pete F]

My MIL is slightly compulsive about eating.

Stopped there one afternoon and she is complaining about her stomach hurting.

I asked her if it was something she ate.

"I don't think so"

What did you eat, I asked? 

"Pumpkin pie"

How much, I asked?

"Two"

Pieces?

"No, pies"

That story is pretty famous now in our family.

[arturo28mx]

Colombia is famous for its beautiful women (e.g., Sofia Vergara). Some years ago I was talking to a high government official there and I said Colombia was "almost" perfect. He asked why. I replied Colombia would be perfect when they legalize poligamy.

He laughed and then added jokingly to be careful because more women mean more mothers in law!!!

I said you are right, better stick to monogamy.

[Rainmaker]

I definitely lucked out in the MIL department.  The only funny MIL stories I have are about how she cooks way too much when we come for Christmas, buys my kids way too many toys for Christmas. .and mails them way too many toys all year. .and clothes and books, lol.  The only real complaint is that I'd like to buy my kids something once in a while - but whatever it is, Grandma already sent it.  I'm thinking about buying them liquor and wrist-rockets just because I know Grandma didn't already send some, lol. 

[imsys0042]

Just now, Rainmaker said:

I definitely lucked out in the MIL department.  The only funny MIL stories I have are about how she cooks way too much when we come for Christmas, buys my kids way too many toys for Christmas. .and mails them way too many toys all year. .and clothes and books, lol.  The only real complaint is that I'd like to buy my kids something once in a while - but whatever it is, Grandma already sent it.  I'm thinking about buying them liquor and wrist-rockets just because I know Grandma didn't already send some, lol. 

What's funny is that mine does some of that as well.   She makes a big fuss about making a big meal, then everyone has to kiss her butt about how good it is.   She stares at you while you eat.   Gets angry if you don't eat "enough".   She refuses to eat anything in our house though, unless she cooks it.

We also have a problem with her spending too much on our kids.   We try to give our kids the best life we can, but we don't want them to not appreciate things.   She just buys and buys and buys and they really don't appreciate anything that she buys them.  

I get mad at the fact that I in-frequently can buy stuff for my own kids too.   She is told and told to dial it back, but she doesn't listen.   My wife has a horrible time figuring out what to get the girls for Christmas or their birthdays.

What makes the spending she does worse is that my wife and I know she is broke.   My FIL started asking us for money years ago and we had to stop it because we found out that my MIL was hoarding all of this money and everything we helped out with was money they actually had!   My FIL was too scared to talk to her about their finances.

[Rainmaker]

4 minutes ago, imsys0042 said:

What's funny is that mine does some of that as well.   She makes a big fuss about making a big meal, then everyone has to kiss her butt about how good it is.   She stares at you while you eat.   Gets angry if you don't eat "enough".   She refuses to eat anything in our house though, unless she cooks it.

We also have a problem with her spending too much on our kids.   We try to give our kids the best life we can, but we don't want them to not appreciate things.   She just buys and buys and buys and they really don't appreciate anything that she buys them.  

I get mad at the fact that I in-frequently can buy stuff for my own kids too.   She is told and told to dial it back, but she doesn't listen.   My wife has a horrible time figuring out what to get the girls for Christmas or their birthdays.

What makes the spending she does worse is that my wife and I know she is broke.   My FIL started asking us for money years ago and we had to stop it because we found out that my MIL was hoarding all of this money and everything we helped out with was money they actually had!   My FIL was too scared to talk to her about their finances.

That's definitely extreme, lol.  Mine, on the other hand, came to our house and I made grilled boneless skinless chicken thighs.  She started eating them, asked me what they were, said how much she liked them, etc, etc.  I thought nothing of it and then a year later I found out that she HATES chicken thighs and all dark-meat chicken and didn't realize that's what they were at my house because they were boneless and skinless . .so she ate them anyway to be polite, lol. 

Her and my FIL don't have tons of money and they definitely spend on the edge of what they can afford . .they have done better, though, in recent years in minimizing, somewhat, the volume of what I like to call "plastic crap" . .the stuff that the kids play with once or twice and then forever dwells under my sofa.  Although they did get my 2 year old a box with 100 matchbox cars this year . .and they are all now under my sofa.      

[imsys0042]

6 minutes ago, Rainmaker said:

That's definitely extreme, lol. 

I spoke with a therapist for a while specifically about how to not blow up my marriage but deal with her.   In no un-certain terms she told me what I was dealing with was extreme and that if we could, my wife and I should move to get away from a continuing problem such as her, and just get the toxic person out of our life.   She jokingly said that if she had a patient like her, she could probably retire.   She has a lot of issues.

But funny story...

One day my FIL comes up to my wife and was telling her the normal stuff (they haven't spoken for a week, or she was being really horrible) and he goes "She's losing it.   Really!   She is starting to lose her mind.   She yelled at me for the same thing four times last night."   So my wife doesn't say anything and then he gives us this gem.   "She's so bad that I just look at her and wait for the drool to run down her fat chin".

That's a husband, talking about the woman he married.   Yeesh!