Self-delusion, spelled G-O-L-F?

[Blackjack Don]

Oftentimes when I'm talking about golf, I realize I'm the hippie at an NRA convention. As long as I mind my manners, they won't stop talking to me, and that's really all I want. I have been a golf fan for nearly 50 years, and I've never heard this subject addressed: Why do we think we are better than we are?

This week, I started out with four straight pars. For someone who can't consistently break 90, that's not bad. I thought I was on my way to 85, which is my goal by the end of summer. I finished the round 30 strokes over par. It all went to hell. I thought I was better than I am.

Par is a stupid goal for me. Par for me should be one shot over what the expert golfer would shoot on a given hole. Why, oh, why did I try to hit close to that flag over the the water? Why do I think I am better than I am??

Why am I sailing blissfully down the river Denial? 

Golf--It's a humbling game.

[Patch]

2 minutes ago, Blackjack Don said:

Oftentimes when I'm talking about golf, I realize I'm the hippie at an NRA convention. As long as I mind my manners, they won't stop talking to me, and that's really all I want. I have been a golf fan for nearly 50 years, and I've never heard this subject addressed: Why do we think we are better than we are?

This week, I started out with four straight pars. For someone who can't consistently break 90, that's not bad. I thought I was on my way to 85, which is my goal by the end of summer. I finished the round 30 strokes over par. It all went to hell. I thought I was better than I am.

Par is a stupid goal for me. Par for me should be one shot over what the expert golfer would shoot on a given hole. Why, oh, why did I try to hit close to that flag over the the water? Why do I think I am better than I am??

Why am I sailing blissfully down the river Denial? 

Golf--It's a humbling game.

Nothing wrong with a golfer having their own par. Mine is 80, but to appease others, I call it my "target score". 

As for thinking we are better than we are, on some holes we are better than we are. On others we are worse than we are. It seems to equal out I suppose. 

Thinking we can make that incredible, almost impossible shot is just one of those challenges the game of golf affords us. We spend our time, and money looking for that challenge. 

I too have been on that river of denial. I took a fishing pole with me. 

[The Hook Meister]

The river denial comes with being human. On bad rounds we only talk about the good shots we make, and some days its a very short conversation. We never talk about the bad shots very much unless they were caused by a bad bounce or something like that.. We have all been in the river denial at on time or another it kinda goes with the game of golf.

[dennyjones]

In Lowest Score Wins, Erik talks about trying to change the thought process from 9 or 18 holes to a 3 hole challenge.   I believe the average golfer would benefit from looking at 6 rounds of 3 holes instead of one round of 9 or 18.     

[Buckeyebowman]

Somewhere, maybe on this forum, someone has a signature that says, "The older we are, the better we used to be!" Blackjack, I don't know your age, but your HI says that you are a worse than bogey golfer. What tees do you play?

I know ego gets in the way. I had to just about beat my buddy over the head with a putter to get him to move up to the senior tees! We are both seniors, but his ego wouldn't allow him to make the move. We are past the point where we can expect our games to get much better. We're just trying to maintain what we have!

When I finally convinced him that there was no shame in moving up, and he experienced how much enjoyment there was in manageable approach shots, and putting for birdies and eagles, was when golf became fun again! This, as opposed to a slug your brains out exercise in frustration!

I know I'm making an assumption here, but it's something you might consider.

[David L Yskes]

9 hours ago, Blackjack Don said:

Oftentimes when I'm talking about golf, I realize I'm the hippie at an NRA convention. As long as I mind my manners, they won't stop talking to me, and that's really all I want. I have been a golf fan for nearly 50 years, and I've never heard this subject addressed: Why do we think we are better than we are?

This week, I started out with four straight pars. For someone who can't consistently break 90, that's not bad. I thought I was on my way to 85, which is my goal by the end of summer. I finished the round 30 strokes over par. It all went to hell. I thought I was better than I am.

Par is a stupid goal for me. Par for me should be one shot over what the expert golfer would shoot on a given hole. Why, oh, why did I try to hit close to that flag over the the water? Why do I think I am better than I am??

Why am I sailing blissfully down the river Denial? 

Golf--It's a humbling game.

i think it's because we know if " we just eliminate " those blow up holes, or 3 putts, and not shank the ball here... and we can shoot sub 90...  or whatever our goal is.....   

heck i've had many of times, when playing 18, my front nine is a mid 40 score, and i get it in my head ok, play smart, dont do this or that, and maybe we can get a low 80's score....  and the next thing i know, i'm shooting close to 60 on the back 9...   and when i get done with the round i kick myself over and over, cuz i 3 putted 3 times, shanked 3 balls, lost 3 balls.....     

i had a round ( 9 holes ) 2 years ago, and played 5 or 6 of the holes teeing off with my 3 iron, and i shot my low 9 hole round of that summer with a 42..... and in my head i'm like ok, i did that with teeing off with my 3 iron.... now if i could just keep my driver in the fairway, i might go lower.....    next time i played that same 9 holes, i shot something in the 50's ( while using my driver )  and everything went wrong..     but the time before everything went Right, i was hitting my irons good, chipping good, keeping the ball in play... and only 3 putted once 

the other thing is, we all probably play the same courses every summer, and one week X holes will give us trouble, and the next time, it's a couple different ones, and so on, and in our head we know that if we can just put together a solid round, we can shoot X number for a score...  

 

[Patch]

8 hours ago, dennyjones said:

In Lowest Score Wins, Erik talks about trying to change the thought process from 9 or 18 holes to a 3 hole challenge.   I believe the average golfer would benefit from looking at 6 rounds of 3 holes instead of one round of 9 or 18.     

Small world. I have my own custom score cards, where every other 3 hole group is shaded.  6 groups of 3 holes. I even made some cards up with 3 groups of 6 holes.

The 3 group cards were not as popular, so I stuck with the 6 group cards. I had several hundred sheets of 3 score cards copied. I probably handed out 1/2 of those score cards out to other golfers. They were quite popular among other golfers. I probably still have 200 or so right now. Even though they are 15+ years old, they are still quite usable. Probably should start using them again. 

3 hole groups give the golfer what I call 6 new starting points in an 18 hole round. 6 places to refocus, if needed, should the wheels come off.  

 

[MarvChamp]

8 hours ago, Patch said:

3 hole groups give the golfer what I call 6 new starting points in an 18 hole round. 6 places to refocus, if needed, should the wheels come off.  

Right...I have done this for a long time. Play the three with a goal in mind, then forget it until the tally. Playing from the correct tees while trying to play with newer physical limitations is an added benefit...I liked yesterday's approach shots.

BUT apropos to the question...Why is it that I MUST keep score? Because I think I'm better than I am, that I can have glory days again. It's all ego. Golf has taught me a lot about my pride and self-centeredness. Great topic! -Marv

[Blackjack Don]

1 hour ago, MarvChamp said:

Great topic! -Marv

Agreed, Marv, and one of the most fascinating things, to me, about golf. I'm totally fascinated at why the game seems to bring out some of our strongest delusions. One of my co-workers can't hit it 200, but, man, he does hit it straight. I told him if he moved up it wouldn't wreck the course but bring it back to him. He won't budge. I think he feels it is against the spirit of the game, or it's religious, or who knows?

There are lots of examples out there of denial, and most of them don't make us laugh, but should.

😁

The right ball, the right club, somewhere out there I can buy a better swing. It's crazy. An entire industry, and we wouldn't have it any other way. I think golf is a special kind of sweet, sweet fantasy. My old golf buddy says, "Same golfer, more experience." I like that.

[iacas]

9 minutes ago, Blackjack Don said:

I'm totally fascinated at why the game seems to bring out some of our strongest delusions.

I think it’s all athletics. And not nearly everyone either.

[NJpatbee]

My home course has a slope of 131 an I have shot par on all of them and birdie on 13 of the 18.  But I am a 17 handicap and thrilled to shoot an 86.  Most golfers know what they are capable of on each hole but understand that they cannot perform their best on every hole.  I keep a handicap nowadays primarily to track my potential and to keep my expectations in check.  Yet when I stand on each tee my goal is to par the hole.  

 

[Blackjack Don]

7 hours ago, iacas said:

I think it’s all athletics. And not nearly everyone either.

Yes, I agree about the athletics. But that also brings a delusion, that people who aren't athletes can do it--as well, or better, or will someday. Not just a people thing, but a real derangement. lol

You're saying there are golfers who are totally sane? Wouldn't that be boring?

🤔

Thanks for the opinion, Eric. If it wasn't for the addiction, you'd have to find a job. A job is something you wouldn't do for free. I have a job. I wouldn't deal a hand for free, even if being a blackjack dealer in Vegas is a pretty cool gig. But to teach golf, omg... I'd rake sand traps and fill divots for less money and playing privileges. 

(not, but you know)

How about this one? 

I was testing clubs and the guy at the big box store suggested a Taylormade M4. He said it had a concave face which guides the ball back to the center. Ugly club, in my opinion, kind of like a hybrid. I said, okay, that's the good part, what's the cost? He said there was no downside. Why aren't the pros using it? Tradition, he said. Nobody wants to change.

I smiled. Right. This is not logical. If I were using a tool for a living, I'd have the best tools money could buy, if it made me more money. Screw tradition. I'd be Bryson D.

Even golf isn't that conservative. Or is that a myth, too?

[Lihu]

On 5/26/2018 at 9:52 AM, Blackjack Don said:

Par is a stupid goal for me. Par for me should be one shot over what the expert golfer would shoot on a given hole. Why, oh, why did I try to hit close to that flag over the the water? Why do I think I am better than I am??

Why am I sailing blissfully down the river Denial? 

Golf--It's a humbling game.

1

Bogey, double or whatever is a good goal. It kind of boils down to how far you hit the ball straight.

[billchao]

3 hours ago, Blackjack Don said:

I was testing clubs and the guy at the big box store suggested a Taylormade M4. He said it had a concave face which guides the ball back to the center. Ugly club, in my opinion, kind of like a hybrid. I said, okay, that's the good part, what's the cost? He said there was no downside. Why aren't the pros using it? Tradition, he said. Nobody wants to change.

Pros don't play the M4 but they play the M3, which also has the Twist Face technology.

https://www.taylormadegolf.com/tourplayers.html

3 hours ago, Blackjack Don said:

I smiled. Right. This is not logical. If I were using a tool for a living, I'd have the best tools money could buy, if it made me more money.

You don't use tools for a living? Because if you did, you'd understand it's not about having fancy, expensive tools, but tools that you are familiar with and comfortable using that allow you to do what you want to do.

Besides, the pro golfers already do have the best tools money can buy.

3 hours ago, Blackjack Don said:

Screw tradition. I'd be Bryson D.

You're making the assumption that tradition holds other golfers back, or that being non-traditional is the reason Bryson DeChambeau is good. The pros and cons of single length irons are well documented. Like any other tool, they're not for everyone.

[Buckeyebowman]

11 hours ago, iacas said:

I think it’s all athletics. And not nearly everyone either.

True, and also memory. It's kind of like the Springsteen song "Glory Days". We remember how good we used to be, and it's hard to accept the erosion of our skills.

I took me a while until I finally realized that I just can't hit it as far as I used to. My buddy persisted in his delusion that he was pumping drives out their 260-270 until GPS, and his own experience, proved him wrong.

That's when I finally convinced him to move up to the gold tees. This was made easier by the fact that it was early Spring, the courses were soft, and there was no roll out! You get what you hit!

[Blackjack Don]

Here's another old favorite: the ball should be up there when it's really forty yards back there.

😆

[lastings]

I think, in golf anyways, the easiest answer to this is that we make good holes look so easy.   

hit your driver down the middle, hit an 8-iron to the middle of the green, 2-putt from 20 ft.    you look back at that and feel like you should be able to do that every time (or, at least, most of the time).    

But, alas, that is not the case.   When we are hitting the ball well, we forget how difficult it actually is to get a golf ball to go where we want it to go.  

  

[RickK]

One of the quickest ways for me to tank my round is to start thinking about score.  I generally know how I am playing but I try to just focus hole by hole and minimize my mistakes.  And, one of the worst things I can do is add up my score before the 9 is over.