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Gilberg

Golf sayings that grind my gears

36 posts in this topic

Why do golfers always want to say things that don't make sense and make everyone mad in general?  For the life of me I won't figure it out.  I was playing a half nine the other day with friend who happens to be a girl, but not girlfriend, she is just cool to hang around on.  Everytime she hit the ball I could hear her saying to herself - "great golf shot".  I tried to splain to her that they are all golf shots except when you are on the green and then they are "putts" or "putt shots".  the other one I still don't understand is why they say whole in one.  Everytime I hit a putt shot in the hole I always say whole in one.  That chic kept telling me that that is only if you hit in in one shot, but I splained to her that everytime you hit it it is one shot.  It is impossible to hit one shot more than once.  I told her to try it and she couldn't do it so she finally agreed with me.  Anyway I am still a noob to the game and she is too, I just really really bad don't want to sound like an indiot when I play with my cousin.

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A 2 handicap and your new to the game, keep trolling
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How do you play a " half nine"? Do you quit after your 2nd shot on 5? :-\
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Half a nine and "whole" in one. Can't believe I just wasyed 5 minutes of my life on this one.

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Why do golfers always want to say things that don't make sense and make everyone mad in general?  For the life of me I won't figure it out.  I was playing a half nine the other day with friend who happens to be a girl, but not girlfriend, she is just cool to hang around on.  Everytime she hit the ball I could hear her saying to herself - "great golf shot".  I tried to splain to her that they are all golf shots except when you are on the green and then they are "putts" or "putt shots".  the other one I still don't understand is why they say whole in one.  Everytime I hit a putt shot in the hole I always say whole in one.  That chic kept telling me that that is only if you hit in in one shot, but I splained to her that everytime you hit it it is one shot.  It is impossible to hit one shot more than once.  I told her to try it and she couldn't do it so she finally agreed with me.  Anyway I am still a noob to the game and she is too, I just really really bad don't want to sound like an indiot when I play with my cousin.

A) Is she your cousin, or your "friend who just happens to be a girl but is not your girlfriend, she is just cool to hang around on?" If it's the former, I doubt there's much "hanging around on." B) They didn't call him "Two Chip" Chen for nothing. C) No such thing as "putt shots." Just "putts."

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Well this was a waste of 3 minutes!!!

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It is impossible to hit one shot more than once.  I told her to try it and she couldn't do it so she finally agreed with me.

Ha Ha. Classic Gilberg post.

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Originally Posted by Gilberg

Everytime she hit the ball I could hear her saying to herself - "great golf shot".  I tried to splain to her that they are all golf shots ...

I'm actually gonna go the other route fellas!  I totally agree with this. Why do the announcers have to say "golf shot?"  Do they think I'm gonna get confused and think that Phil Michelson just sent a basketball game into overtime?  Same thing with the football announcers insisting on saying he's a great "football player."  Because, again, I might have been confused and thought he was a Roman Gladiator.  (They also refuse to say NFL ... they must say "National Football League")

OK, I'm done now. ;)

Gilberg, can't wait to hear your next story!  Keep 'em coming!

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Originally Posted by Gilberg

I just really really bad don't want to sound like an indiot when I play with my cousin.

Good luck with that but I figure that horse has already left the barn unless your cousin is a close enough DNA match to not know the difference.

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Ever since I watched Brian Skatell on Big Break Prince Edward Island I laugh whenever I hear a golfer tell someone they "hit that shot pure" or they "pured" that shot.

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Ball has landed on the green too hard and is running... "GROW HAIR BALL!!"

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Mindless drivel

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Originally Posted by teed off

Mindless drivel

Originally Posted by indyvai

Nice Golf Thread!

Nah, you guys are just new. Gilberg is a drive-by prankster of the highest order. Classic stuff. Check out his backlog, funny as hell.

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Years ago I was playing tennis when I jumped up to smash and came down sideways on my ankle.  I splained it pretty badly.

Basically anything that one can hear screamed out immediately during or after a tee shot at a pro golf tournament has to qualify as a top-ten most annoying golf-related expression.

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Just read the majority of Gilberg's work. He is an absolute gem. Hilarious! I love his style too. Throw a couple posts up and disappear for a bit. Always leave em wanting more. Brillant.

Gilberg - Keep it up guy.

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