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Golf sayings that grind my gears

post #1 of 36
Thread Starter 

Why do golfers always want to say things that don't make sense and make everyone mad in general?  For the life of me I won't figure it out.  I was playing a half nine the other day with friend who happens to be a girl, but not girlfriend, she is just cool to hang around on.  Everytime she hit the ball I could hear her saying to herself - "great golf shot".  I tried to splain to her that they are all golf shots except when you are on the green and then they are "putts" or "putt shots".  the other one I still don't understand is why they say whole in one.  Everytime I hit a putt shot in the hole I always say whole in one.  That chic kept telling me that that is only if you hit in in one shot, but I splained to her that everytime you hit it it is one shot.  It is impossible to hit one shot more than once.  I told her to try it and she couldn't do it so she finally agreed with me.  Anyway I am still a noob to the game and she is too, I just really really bad don't want to sound like an indiot when I play with my cousin.

post #2 of 36
A 2 handicap and your new to the game, keep trolling
post #3 of 36
How do you play a " half nine"? Do you quit after your 2nd shot on 5? b3_huh.gif
post #4 of 36

Half a nine and "whole" in one. Can't believe I just wasyed 5 minutes of my life on this one.

post #5 of 36
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gilberg View Post

Why do golfers always want to say things that don't make sense and make everyone mad in general?  For the life of me I won't figure it out.  I was playing a half nine the other day with friend who happens to be a girl, but not girlfriend, she is just cool to hang around on.  Everytime she hit the ball I could hear her saying to herself - "great golf shot".  I tried to splain to her that they are all golf shots except when you are on the green and then they are "putts" or "putt shots".  the other one I still don't understand is why they say whole in one.  Everytime I hit a putt shot in the hole I always say whole in one.  That chic kept telling me that that is only if you hit in in one shot, but I splained to her that everytime you hit it it is one shot.  It is impossible to hit one shot more than once.  I told her to try it and she couldn't do it so she finally agreed with me.  Anyway I am still a noob to the game and she is too, I just really really bad don't want to sound like an indiot when I play with my cousin.

A) Is she your cousin, or your "friend who just happens to be a girl but is not your girlfriend, she is just cool to hang around on?" If it's the former, I doubt there's much "hanging around on."

B) They didn't call him "Two Chip" Chen for nothing.

C) No such thing as "putt shots." Just "putts."
post #6 of 36

Well this was a waste of 3 minutes!!! 

post #7 of 36
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gilberg View Post

 It is impossible to hit one shot more than once.  I told her to try it and she couldn't do it so she finally agreed with me.  

Ha Ha. Classic Gilberg post.
post #8 of 36
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gilberg View Post

Everytime she hit the ball I could hear her saying to herself - "great golf shot".  I tried to splain to her that they are all golf shots ...

I'm actually gonna go the other route fellas!  I totally agree with this.  c2_beer.gif  Why do the announcers have to say "golf shot?"  Do they think I'm gonna get confused and think that Phil Michelson just sent a basketball game into overtime?  Same thing with the football announcers insisting on saying he's a great "football player."  Because, again, I might have been confused and thought he was a Roman Gladiator.  (They also refuse to say NFL ... they must say "National Football League")

 

OK, I'm done now. ;)

 

Gilberg, can't wait to hear your next story!  Keep 'em coming!

post #9 of 36
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gilberg View Post

 I just really really bad don't want to sound like an indiot when I play with my cousin.

Good luck with that but I figure that horse has already left the barn unless your cousin is a close enough DNA match to not know the difference.

post #10 of 36

Ever since I watched Brian Skatell on Big Break Prince Edward Island I laugh whenever I hear a golfer tell someone they "hit that shot pure" or they "pured" that shot. 

post #11 of 36
Love it!
post #12 of 36

Ball has landed on the green too hard and is running... "GROW HAIR BALL!!"

 

c3_clap.gif

post #13 of 36
When I leave a putt short, I yell "Alice!"
post #14 of 36

Mindless drivel
 

post #15 of 36
Nice Golf Thread!
post #16 of 36
Quote:
Originally Posted by teed off View Post

Mindless drivel
 

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by indyvai View Post

Nice Golf Thread!

Nah, you guys are just new. Gilberg is a drive-by prankster of the highest order. Classic stuff. Check out his backlog, funny as hell.

post #17 of 36

Years ago I was playing tennis when I jumped up to smash and came down sideways on my ankle.  I splained it pretty badly.

 

Basically anything that one can hear screamed out immediately during or after a tee shot at a pro golf tournament has to qualify as a top-ten most annoying golf-related expression.

post #18 of 36

Just read the majority of Gilberg's work. He is an absolute gem. Hilarious! I love his style too. Throw a couple posts up and disappear for a bit. Always leave em wanting more. Brillant.

 

Gilberg - Keep it up guy.

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