Can't We Just Play the Game in Peace?

[Sandy Lie]

Lately I’m seeing and experiencing more crap during rounds of golf that makes me wonder why people play the game. I mean we all have our moments out there but I’m seeing more and more outward expression than I would deem normal (whatever that is).

We played an InterClub match several days ago and there was almost a fight in our lead group.  Our opponents accused one of our players of cheating. Now it didn’t help that the instigator was drinking beer all day, in a match, really? Some yelling and pushing was involved and that player was DQ’d. Crazy!

Usually a round is played and good shots bring praise from your playing partners but a bad shot you would expect no comments from anyone. But there’s the guy who wants to tell you what happened in you swing. Ok, maybe once, but I know for me I don’t need your comments and I usually will say so to whomever made it. But today in our foursome of which I knew only one guy the other two were close to having it out. With one player struggling the other guy couldn’t seem to help himself with his comments.  I spoke to him about it but he couldn’t help himself.  The struggling player told me before he left he felt like braining that guy. Ok.

Didn’t golf used to be a place where you could get away from everything and enjoy the outdoors, have fun and just forget about everything else?  Now it’s cellphones, music, excessive drinking, utilizing trees for a restroom and just bad behavior. It doesn’t matter what Club your playing, Public or Private.  I guess I wonder why this type of person even plays the game. But they have a right to of course.

I guess I just feel that one should respect the game, respect the course and whomever your playing with.  Perhaps as I get older I’m seeing a changing of the times. People have more going on in their lives than they can handle perhaps and it carries over to the golf course.

As much golf as I play it’s somewhat sad to see this.  I’m sure the good outweighs the bad day in and day out and these occurrences are random but I lately tend to believe it’s not.

What if any experiences have you seen lately?

[Sandy Divot]

I play with a group of retired guys a couple times per week. We usually have 4 tee times Tuesday and Thursday. The guy that organizes has two rules: No one cares why you hit a bad shot, and no excessive displays of temper. I have never had a single issue with anybody. We have one guy that is slow, so they put him in the last group, and he’s fun to play with, regardless. I don’t play much on the weekends, but I do practice, and I see carts full of empty beer cans, with speakers attached to the cart. I feel very fortunate that I really haven’t experienced the behavior you have. The exception would be the trees as bathrooms, and sometimes, as you get older, if you have to go, you have to go.

 

[Double Mocha Man]

1 hour ago, Sandy Lie said:

Didn’t golf used to be a place where you could get away from everything and enjoy the outdoors, have fun and just forget about everything else?

Bravo!

 

20 minutes ago, Sandy Divot said:

No one cares why you hit a bad shot, and no excessive displays of temper.

And no unsolicited advice.  Personally, if I'm working on something I'll ask a trusted buddy to look at a part of my swing and tell me if I'm achieving what I'm trying to accomplish.  Or in my feeble mind am I just imagining I'm maintaining a flat left wrist at the top of the backswing?

[phillyk]

5 hours ago, Sandy Lie said:

Didn’t golf used to be a place where you could get away from everything and enjoy the outdoors, have fun and just forget about everything else?  Now it’s cellphones, music, excessive drinking, utilizing trees for a restroom and just bad behavior. It doesn’t matter what Club your playing, Public or Private.  I guess I wonder why this type of person even plays the game. But they have a right to of course.

Golf is at a place where we need those people to play and enjoy the sport so the game can stay alive. Covid helped push people outside, with golf as one of those hobbies. A certain level of respect should be maintained but we need to let people have fun, their way. 

[iacas]

25 minutes ago, phillyk said:

Golf is at a place where we need those people to play and enjoy the sport so the game can stay alive. Covid helped push people outside, with golf as one of those hobbies. A certain level of respect should be maintained but we need to let people have fun, their way. 

Yep.

So long as it’s not impacting my ability to enjoy what I’m doing, or the property or whatever, have fun.

However you have fun.

[NM Golf]

There needs to be a healthy level of respect for those around you, but you also have to realize that other people on the course have the right to have fun in their own way as well. 

I hate music on the course, but I fear its here to stay so I try to not let it bother me, but I have asked people that blare it to turn it down a bit. Everyone I have asked has done so without protest. People getting mad and throwing tantrums doesn't really bother me, I actually find it funny. As far as unsolicited advice, I don't get it very often, but the few times I have I just politely asked them to keep their advice to themselves. 

I think people underestimate to power of simply asking people to chill out. Be nice just tell them. "Hey that bothers me." At the same time if everything bothers you the problem is YOU not them.

As far as your problem with peeing on trees, well that's just ridiculous, when you gotta go you gotta go. Too many old men out there with enlarged prostates!

[Sandy Lie]

7 minutes ago, NM Golf said:

There needs to be a healthy level of respect for those around you, but you also have to realize that other people on the course have the right to have fun in their own way as well. 

I hate music on the course, but I fear its here to stay so I try to not let it bother me, but I have asked people that blare it to turn it down a bit. Everyone I have asked has done so without protest. People getting mad and throwing tantrums doesn't really bother me, I actually find it funny. As far as unsolicited advice, I don't get it very often, but the few times I have I just politely asked them to keep their advice to themselves. 

I think people underestimate to power of simply asking people to chill out. Be nice just tell them. "Hey that bothers me." At the same time if everything bothers you the problem is YOU not them.

As far as your problem with peeing on trees, well that's just ridiculous, when you gotta go you gotta go. Too many old men out there with enlarged prostates!

It is the world we live in as your trying to say.  But let me say this…if your ever in North Carolina and your caught/turned in and arrested for doing your nature call please beware. In NC it is a misdemeanor that results in a fine and the kicker is you will be registered as a “sex offender”! No kidding…indecent exposure!  Our Club Attorney got this straight from the District Attorney’s Office.  Old or young!  😂 

[NM Golf]

8 minutes ago, Sandy Lie said:

It is the world we live in as your trying to say.  But let me say this…if your ever in North Carolina and your caught/turned in and arrested for doing your nature call please beware. In NC it is a misdemeanor that results in a fine and the kicker is you will be registered as a “sex offender”! No kidding…indecent exposure!  Our Club Attorney got this straight from the District Attorney’s Office.  Old or young!  😂 

I played both Pinehurst no. 8 and Pinehurst no. 2 in 2018 and I guarantee I went # 1 on a tree at least one time during my rounds. I am happy to say it didn't seem to bother anyone and I remain unincarcerated to this day. Like I said, if everything bothers you the problem is you.

Edited May 16, 2022 by NM Golf

[Sandy Lie]

You don’t know me so don’t characterize me, but congratulations on the tree!😉

[TourSpoon]

I don't play music but some of the guys do have it and it really does not have an effect on me. If its on a busy area of the course, it does drown out the talking that can occur on neighboring tee boxes and greens. Just keep it at a reasonable volume and its white noise to me. 

Tantrums are rare in the group, but I did see a two club toss a few months back. Both clubs were slung down the fairway about the same distance. You do that in our group and you are fair game. I said that you may want to get your lofts checked out. The gapping is off as your 8 and 9 iron flew the same distance. Aside from that instance, I haven't seen anyone really go nuclear. 

Peeing on trees. Just be discreet and not in plain view even though you may be under clubbed. No one wants to see that. But yeah, it happens. It is nowhere near what I have seen running marathons though, from men and women. 

And to @NM Golf's point about being nice, that is really key. If I inadvertently stand on the opposite side of the hole and my bud asks me to move from his visual line while putting, it's no problem. No one gets bent, we are just communicating. 

I still love lacing up my golf shoes, hitting a few balls, chipping and putting on the practice green, and going to the first tee.  

[mcanadiens]

Maybe manners are in shorter supply in general, but we still probably do better on the golf course than a lot of other places  Two that come to mind real fast are grocery stores and on the road. 

The worst incident I ever saw was during a club championship four or five years ago at my old course, Kittyhawk. Two of my fellow C-flight players had to be physically separated after an accusation of cheating. Nobody got hurt, but the accused cheater wasn't seen again. 

The people at my new course are shockingly nice. Everyone from staff to regular to random are very polite. I have yet to see any significant incidents out there. 

 

 

 

Edited May 16, 2022 by mcanadiens

[Big Lex]

I agree with alot of what you say...I don't like hearing music coming from golf carts, but it's a thing now and I don't own the sound waves so I have to live with it. There are a few guys I've played with that really annoy me from time to time, and yes two common ways are excessive bitching and too much commentary or general talking. But it's just their personality and again we aren't entitled to tailor everyone else's behavior to what's comfortable for us. 

I have a way of spoiling my own fun at things by worrying about crap I can't control. And all of this stuff is stuff I can't control, so I have to find a way of dealing with it, or I spoil my own fun. 

Golf is most importantly (for me) about recreation and recharging. If it teaches me the skill of being able to live and let live, be more "zen" like, whatever, I am grateful, because it will carry over into my life outside of golf. 

[Indy-Archer]

If I were subjected to rap and all the accompanying rudeness that goes with it every time I played, I’d be done with golf forever. In a day with a million options for EarPods, headphones and other devices, including those that allow external sounds to play through them, there is no reason to subject others to music on the course. I listen to sermons frequently while I drive and engage in other activities, but would never assume that the entire golf course around me wants to hear Voddie Baucham blaring through a Bluetooth speaker. 

[imsys0042]

I've been experiencing an uptick of political commentary over the past few years, the hard divide between political opinions and also people's abject lack of reality.  Some of the things that people freely say are so offensive and way out of line that it does really bother me.  

Also, there seems to be a lot more really, really self-centered people I find.   This is from a few years ago, but it's worth telling.  I'm playing a match against someone at my club.  We get paired with another twosome.  One of the guys is very egotistical and spends a lot of time talking about his "other" golf club, and how it's better than the one we are playing.  Drops extra balls when he feels like it (I lost my match because he hit one while I was swinging on 17 and then threw a fit because his "mulligan" also ended up in a lake).  He knew we were playing a match, but was cycling through music to play on the second tee while we and my opponent were taking our swings.  Never asked if it was ok.   Totally acted like the world revolved around him.   I don't know if I notice it more, but there are a lot of people like that that I experience when randomly getting paired with people.

By the first few holes I knew how much his house cost, his second home and what cars he drove.   Also plenty about how important he was at work, not to mention he gave us a detailed explanation of the various features of the breasts of all the cart girls.   I should have conceded early and faked a headache.

[GolfLug]

On 5/15/2022 at 11:33 AM, Sandy Lie said:

I guess I just feel that one should respect the game, respect the course and whomever your playing with.  Perhaps as I get older I’m seeing a changing of the times. People have more going on in their lives than they can handle perhaps and it carries over to the golf course.

As much golf as I play it’s somewhat sad to see this.  I’m sure the good outweighs the bad day in and day out and these occurrences are random but I lately tend to believe it’s not.

What if any experiences have you seen lately?

I hear you. Many feel/have felt the same way. It is this feeling that the one of the few 'quiet' places we have left has been breached. I have adjusted. 

We have a few players at our course who play music that's loud enough to be within earshot of the next tee box. Interestingly they are some of the nicest folks I know and always turn it down when someone objects to it. They are in their 50s and 60s so I can't necessarily say it's a generational thing. I am in my late 40s so I identify with them more so than 'kids' in their 20s and 30s. 

As far as quarrels or even physical fights is concerned, I haven't personally witnessed it on a golf course but I am not sure that's necessarily a new thing either. If anything I have heard 'going old school' a few times as referred to a brawl.   

Lately I don't mind much of anything as long as there is no material damage to life or property. May be even enjoy the music a tad.. 😊 

[saevel25]

The noise thing is not that big of a deal for me. I do not go to the golf course to be at a quiet place. Maybe it is because I spent 8 years playing in a league that ran right along a major road and was a very compact course that you really were always going to have noise around you. As long as a group of people do not ride up to like with in 30 yards of you and start being noisy. I have no issue with noise coming from the previous green, adjacent tee box or hole. 

Honestly, it is a waste of energy to get up set over such trivial things.