Etiquette note: If someone accidentally hits too close, give them a chance to apologize.

[sean_miller]

I read a lot of comments in threads where people are hit into or feel pushed by the group behind who hits too close.  I typically see where the poster waits until the 2nd or 3rd incident before taking action. Sometimes they overreact and other times the actions seem appropriate.

Having said that, it is possible that someone sprays a ball to an adjacent fairway or gets a flyer lie and does hit the ball 4 clubs longer than they've ever done before. It happens.  Based on my personal experiences on both sides, it helps if the people who were hit into (or more likely near) give the person a chance to apologize. Not everyone is programmed to yell "fore" at the top of their lungs when a ball goes awry. And if that player is relying on others to spot the ball, it can easily take a few seconds too long to relay the "you should yell fore" message.

My examples as the player hitting the ball.

1.) Last summer I was told the fairway was clear by the person up the crows nest who underestimated how far I can hit a 2-iron. I left my group and went on ahead to apologize to the guy and his mom who I'd startled. They graciously accepted my aplogy and we all went on to enjoy the rest of the day.

2.) On Saturday I was laying up a par 5. So of course I hit the purest 4-iron of my life and it's a flyer to boot. It rolls up onto the green while the group ahead was putting. Based on how the shot felt I assumed it might make it to ~ 75 yards as usual and started to wipe my club and put it away. I was surprised when my buddy told me it made the green. We'd waited on every shot for 15 holes but I was honestly trying to lay as I'd been doing all day. I get close to the green and swing by their cart to aplogize. The guys look like they're evacuating and don't make eye contact. Their wives are a bit slower getting their gear stowed away so I aplogized to them. They suggested I owed them a round at the clubhouse. I asked if they saw my ball (it should have been in the middle of the green) assuming they'd pocketed it. Told it was over the green somewhere I found it among foot prints and it had clearly been stomped on. Classy.

3.) I pushed a drive to an adjacent fairway and because the sun was in my eyes I had two spotters. With modern drivers sometimes it's hard to tell a slight push from a 45+ degree angle push. I'd hit the latter and they just stood there silently (same guys as on Saturday). I head over to where my ball came down and it's near the #5 green. It didn't come that close to them and even if someone had yelled fore it wouldn't have affected the outcome, but I started to apologize nonetheless. One of the old guys cuts me off telling me how they never even heard a chirp and the ball missed them by 10 feet. OK, that's BS, but I apologized anyway and said my two spotters seemed to be mute today and next time I won't rely on them. As one of them passed me, he smilled and said, "don't worry about it.". I get to my ball and guess what?!? Clearly stomped on and if I'm not mistaken it may have been spat on.

I play at the classiest course - now I see why jeans are all the rage . . . except they were all dressed to the nines. Off topic? No. It's my topic - change it as you will,

endrant/

[Mr3Wiggle]

I don't put my hands on another golfer's ball, ever.  I don't kick it, I don't hit it back at them...that is just the way I was taught to behave on the course.  If someone hits into me one time I assume it was an honest mistake.  If it's a really bonehead one I'll put my hands up and wave.  If it happens more than once and they aren't apologizing I will drive back and let them know they seem to have a depth perception issue.  I've never had it go past that point.  I suppose if it did I'd call the pro shop and report the issue.  If someone ended up hitting me or my wife after previously hitting into us, I might get a little nasty.

[Golfingdad]

Well said.  If only everybody on the golf course had your attitude.  (Or mine, I think we are pretty similar)  I have hit into people before ... usually it happens where I spray one onto an adjacent fairway and either don't yell fore loud enough, soon enough, or at all because I didn't see anybody.  And because I've been on the offending side of it a few times, when a ball gets hit close to me, my initial reaction is not one of anger because I know there is a good chance it's a similar situation.  I've never had a confrontation on the course (as an adult - I did have a couple as a teenager) because one of two things usually happens.  They get up there and realize they hit into us and apologize profusely.  Or they are feeling sheepish and embarrassed once they realize they almost hit somebody and avoid us by waiting until we've moved on.

Either way, no yelling, no fighting, no spitting or stomping on the ball (or worse yet stealing it) and everybody continues to enjoy the rest of their day.

[iacas]

Sean, great post.

I don't touch anyone else's golf ball in situations like the above either, and so on.

One time I was on the tee of a "drivable" par four. I had a 3W out and was just going to baby one out to the fairway (it's "drivable" but separated by a creek, and a ravine, and a steep hill, and you generally lay up and pitch onto the green). I pulled it, it caught a sliver of fairway, and bounded onto the green where some guys were putting.

I sheepishly drove up and was ready to apologize, of course, even though it was a mistake. The guys were actually excited because they'd seen the ball bouncing and rolling onto the green, looked back and saw me on the tee, and were impressed. They'd never seen anyone hit the green before. I still apologized, thanked them for being good natured, and admitted that it wasn't intentional. :)

I think sometimes people look too often in life to get pissed off about something. The next time a ball rolls to a stop 10 yards behind you, perhaps assume the guy caught one flush for the first time in 20 rounds or it hit a firm spot and bounced really far or something? Because, really, it didn't even come close to hitting you, and getting pissed about it not only spoils your day but the guys in your group and the guys behind you, too.

[Mr. Desmond]

I hear you.

I think there is too much testosterone and depression on golf courses. People assume the worst and don't allow apologies for a golf ball that goes awry or too far. We are not professionals and even pros can't judge every shot.

Even if someone hit into me, I'd leave the ball alone. Stuff happens. Now if they are taking their approaches from 150 and I'm on the green or just walking off, I will expect an apology.  :-)

But if they're doing that, I don't expect one.  :-(

It is what it is. But if someone is getting dangerous with their play, you've got to say something to protect yourself while being diplomatic.

[newtogolf]

Great points Sean, in the instances as you describe them you did nothing to warrant stomping or spitting on your ball, sometimes we just don't know where our ball is going.  I golf for enjoyment and take a break from work, the last thing I want to do is get into a confrontation on a golf course especially if no harm was intended.

I don't get angry when people accidently or unknowingly hit into us, sure it's dangerous, but accidents happen.  I wouldn't show the same tolerance to a group that pushed us the entire round (despite there being no place to go) and then hit into us.  It's all about the circumstances and what the implied intent was of hitting into us.  Clearly you meant no harm and weren't trying to send a message, but that's not always true out on the course.

[bplewis24]

Some good points being made here.  I'd like to give two situations I've been in within the past 2 years:

1) I had about 200 yards out on my approach shot from the rough (which for me makes it a pull-hook lie).  I wait for the guys on the green to putt out, but I didn't wait for their carts to leave the parking area about 15 yards left of the green.  I hit while they were in their carts, but before they drove off.  Of course I pulled it and it landed nearby them.  I yelled "FORE" twice at the top of my lungs.  It never came close to hitting them, but it was in their vicinity.  I approach the green and 2 of the guys are pissed off and go on a rant about us needing to yell Fore.  I mention that I did yell it, twice, and they don't really acknowledge it and go on to say how it almost hit them (it landed softly in the rough about 10 yards from them and never bounced).  It didn't escalate, but they appeared to just want to be mad for the sake of being mad.  My playing partners corroborated my story that I yelled it twice, and they still didn't care.

2) Earlier this year I played with a guy that wasn't very long and struggled making solid contact.  He may have caught a flyer lie and he belted one long and left of the green which is adjacent to the next tee box.  I have very good eyes and I tracked the ball the whole way, and was pretty certain it hit the cart path left of the green and took a large hop onto the adjacent tee box.  I'm about 95% certain of this.  We approach the green, and an older (50-ish), larger gentleman goes on a very loud rant saying that we almost hit the 15 year old kid they were playing with in the head.  The guy who hit the ball is also pretty certain that the gentleman picked up the ball and threw it into the woods, because we couldn't find it anywhere.  Anyway, this guy acted like he wanted to fight.  He was being very demonstrative, as if he was trying to intimidate us and show that he was willing to protect the helpless kid.  I took the lead in questioning what happened while the guy who hit the ball was apologizing profusely.  I was shocked that it nearly hit the kid and stopped short of suggesting they were lying, even though I felt it.  The older gentleman also didn't cop to throwing the ball.  When my playing partner said "I think I saw him throw my ball...I can't find it either," I turned to the guy and asked "did you throw his ball somewhere?"  He changed his tone a bit and said "oh I don't know where it went.  It was way over there somewhere."  He was pointing another 30 yards beyond the green, which would mean the ball I saw land just past hole-high but left and onto the cart path, actually traveled 60 or so yards past the green.  Yeah right.  And they saw it almost hit the kid in the head, but it somehow finished up 30 yards past the kid in some unknown location.

Points being, I think there is a sense of entitlement to be angry when a ball even rolls nearby.  Even if it ricochets off a tree or cart path and has little chance to do damage, they want to be pissed.  I've only been close to being hit into a couple times.  Most every other time a ball is nearby, it bounced off something and landed harmlessly nearby or rolled harmlessly near our feet.  Most times the guys apologize.

Brandon

[Dave2512]

Good thread and yes these things do happen. I can tell when it's inadvertant based on how far back the group is. This just happened to me a few weeks ago with a 9i on a steep 165 yd uphill par 3. Hit it over the green, over the hill behind the green and on to the tee box of the next hole on the other side of the hill. I apologized and we all had a chuckle but I don't doubt they initially thought I was sending a message because they were pretty slow. Accidents happen.

[MattM]

I actually had a situation last week where I'm at my ball in my fairway talking to my friend when out of the blue a ball bounces off the turf and hits my right testicle.  After I shook it off I look up and see the idiots looking right at me not saying a word.  They had perfect angles to see where it was and where it was going yet did not yell fore just looked at me.  Now I'm pissed so....  I get into my cart and proceed to drive right towards them.  I got out and walked right up to the with the pissed off look that I had and said, "Which one of you hit me."  The one guy raised his hand and says, "
I yelled."  Now I KNOW he did not yet and I KNOW they saw it, but because he says this there is nothing I can say but, "yell louder next time."  I then drove off.

Once they say they yell there is not much you can do.  If he wouldn't have apologized or said he yelled he would have gotten slugged right in the face!  Honestly,  If it is someone that did not see it that is fine but when they ARE LOOKING RIGHT AT YOU and don't say anything they are risking seriously injuring someone!! When I hit and errant shot that badly I always yell fore even if I don't see anyone just to make sure!

[Sandy Trap]

Like many above posters, I have never touched someones ball.  I would never throw someones ball or stomp it into the turf, I think that is ridiculous.  Accident's happen.

These type of stories make it really difficult and intimidating for new golfers to take up the sport.  Beginners are terrified to hit the ball because they know if they slice it they might get in a confrontation with someone.  Some people have a huge attitude problem and ruin the game for everyone else.

If someone threw my ball out of bounds we would have an issue and they would be giving me one to replace it.  I don't play expensive balls so that some jerk can toss it into a pond or spit on it.

[showtime583]

Got hit for the first time this past Saturday. It was the 17th hole, and I was playing with a few high-cappers (one guy shot 116, the other 2 shot 95-105) but kept it moving pretty well for the most part all day. The 17th is a par 4 uphill, with a large mound about 60 yards in front of the tee box that makes it impossible to see the fairway or the green from the tee box. I should mention that the group behind us was pulling up to the 16th green as we were teeing off on 17 - so they should have had an idea of our relative position on the hole.

So, I'm getting ready to hit my approach shot and a ball lands, bounces once and hits me in the foot. Not painful, but definitely startling!! I let out a loud whistle so the group on the tee realizes that we're still within range. We get up to the green, and the guy that hit the ball drives up and asks if he hit into us, and apologizes if that was the case. I explain that he did, but that nobody got hurt and understand that it's a blind shot and accidents do happen. No raising of voices, no escalating, just two golfers politely talking about what happened and we went on our way.

IMO, on a hole like this (blind tee shot)....the course needs to either post a sign at the tee box, or place a bell or some other device in the fairway to signal all clear back to the tee box.

[zeg]

Agree completely with the principle here.

Also agree about not messing with a ball hit into you. You never touch another golfer's ball unless he asks you to pick it up for him. It doesn't matter if he just hit into you or not. Just leave it alone. If there's one thing that's clear from the anecdotes above, it's that the passive aggressive "tough guy" who stomps the ball into the turf is the one who comes out looking like an ass.

People make mistakes, it's hard to judge distances, sometimes we lose track of tee shots, etc. I've only been hit near a couple times. My response, which I think is reasonable, is to make a gesture back to the group so that they know they've hit dangerously close. (I'm not talking about the rude gesture you're thinking of, usually I just put my arms up in sort of a "What are you doing?" sort of shrug.) If it happens again I might say something or contact the clubhouse, but I've never had it come to that.

[sean_miller]

Originally Posted by sean_miller

3.) I pushed a drive to an adjacent fairway and because the sun was in my eyes I had two spotters. With modern drivers sometimes it's hard to tell a slight push from a 45+ degree angle push. I'd hit the latter and they just stood there silently (same guys as on Saturday).

. . . endrant/

In case anyone read this and thought I'd hit my ball into / near the same group 2 days in a row, no, I was playing with the same guys who after this many years should know how far (and occasionally wild) I hit the ball. Then again, so should I. Hmmm . . .

[caniac6]

Our first hole goes over a hill. It is not uncommon to hear a ball hit behind you, or see one roll by. We usually take turns standing at the top of the hill so the group behind knows we are not gone.I can forgive being hit into on a blind shot, but if a group can be seen, they should never be hit into.

[turtleback]

The group in front sometimes also has some responsibility in blind situations.  We have a par 5 where the third shot is generally played from the far side of a hill that is blind to those behind.  Sometimes players will go down to their balls and wait (out of sight of the group behind) while the group ahead is on the green, rather than stay at the top of the hill where they can be seen by the group behind.  They are really just asking to be hit into accidentally.  I always stay at the top of the hill until the green clears and then go down to make my pitch.  That way the group behind sees me go down and can allot a reasonable amount of time for us to play our pitches and move on.  Or if they are in in carts have someone ride ahead and see if it is clear before hitting their 2nd shots.

Kind of the golf equivalent of trying to be a defensive driver.

Maybe I'm just lucky, or even-keeled, or something - I've never had a confrontation on the golf course.  Knock on wood.

Now on golf discussion boards, that is a whole different story,  LOL.

[jamo]

Awesome post. I made the mistake of hitting into a group a few years ago. It was a short par 4, the 2nd hole, with a reachable green that was not visible from the tee. We hadn't seen anyone tee off 2 as we were coming up 1, so we waiting what seemed like an appropriate amount of time on the 2nd tee and hit away, going for the green. My ball ended up flying onto the green, nearly hitting someone. I made sure to apologize profusely, and they accepted. Luckily no one was hurt, and I thanked them for recognizing that I made a dumb mistake (in not going to the apex and checking the green) and it wouldn't happen again.

[Sandy Trap]

I just remembered one hole this season where I hit onto a green when another group was putting.  It was my first day playing with my new 20* hybrid.  I didn't think I would get anywhere close especially since the green was perched on top of a very steep hill.  I crushed the shot (had to be over 200 yards).  The ball hit the side of the steep hill but took a great bounce and actually somehow bounced/rolled over the top of the hill right onto the green.

I wanted to apologize to them and let them know it was accidental but they zoomed away in their carts before I had the chance.

Just a good example of how easy it is to hit close to people on accident.  I have also been on the wrong end of some shots coming over a hill.  The only thing you can do is hit your ball and get the hell out of there.

[ajst22]

Once during a golf team match, I was walking to my ball on the fairway when this guy on the hole next to us hit a tee shot that went about 6 inches above my head and stopped about 10 feet next to my ball. No fore or anything. As we were both walking to our balls, when we got close I just looked at him, and even though we made eye contact, he said nothing and picked his ball up and put it in his fairway. I was pretty angry.