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Golf sayings that grind my gears

Gilberg

By Gilberg
in Golf Talk

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Gilberg Established Member

Gilberg

Posted
Posted

Why do golfers always want to say things that don't make sense and make everyone mad in general?  For the life of me I won't figure it out.  I was playing a half nine the other day with friend who happens to be a girl, but not girlfriend, she is just cool to hang around on.  Everytime she hit the ball I could hear her saying to herself - "great golf shot".  I tried to splain to her that they are all golf shots except when you are on the green and then they are "putts" or "putt shots".  the other one I still don't understand is why they say whole in one.  Everytime I hit a putt shot in the hole I always say whole in one.  That chic kept telling me that that is only if you hit in in one shot, but I splained to her that everytime you hit it it is one shot.  It is impossible to hit one shot more than once.  I told her to try it and she couldn't do it so she finally agreed with me.  Anyway I am still a noob to the game and she is too, I just really really bad don't want to sound like an indiot when I play with my cousin.

  • Upvote 1

Shortylook Well Established Member

Shortylook

Posted
Posted
A 2 handicap and your new to the game, keep trolling

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David in FL Incredible Member

David in FL

Posted
Posted
How do you play a " half nine"? Do you quit after your 2nd shot on 5? :-\
  • Upvote 2

In David's bag....

Driver: Titleist 910 D-3;  9.5* Diamana Kai'li
3-Wood: Titleist 910F;  15* Diamana Kai'li
Hybrids: Titleist 910H 19* and 21* Diamana Kai'li
Irons: Titleist 695cb 5-Pw
Wedges: Scratch 51-11 TNC grind, Vokey SM-5's;  56-14 F grind and 60-11 K grind
Putter: Scotty Cameron Kombi S
Ball: ProV1

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jamo Incredible Member

jamo

Posted
Posted
Why do golfers always want to say things that don't make sense and make everyone mad in general?  For the life of me I won't figure it out.  I was playing a half nine the other day with friend who happens to be a girl, but not girlfriend, she is just cool to hang around on.  Everytime she hit the ball I could hear her saying to herself - "great golf shot".  I tried to splain to her that they are all golf shots except when you are on the green and then they are "putts" or "putt shots".  the other one I still don't understand is why they say whole in one.  Everytime I hit a putt shot in the hole I always say whole in one.  That chic kept telling me that that is only if you hit in in one shot, but I splained to her that everytime you hit it it is one shot.  It is impossible to hit one shot more than once.  I told her to try it and she couldn't do it so she finally agreed with me.  Anyway I am still a noob to the game and she is too, I just really really bad don't want to sound like an indiot when I play with my cousin.

A) Is she your cousin, or your "friend who just happens to be a girl but is not your girlfriend, she is just cool to hang around on?" If it's the former, I doubt there's much "hanging around on." B) They didn't call him "Two Chip" Chen for nothing. C) No such thing as "putt shots." Just "putts."

In my bag:

Driver: Titleist TSi3 | 15º 3-Wood: Ping G410 | 17º 2-Hybrid: Ping G410 | 19º 3-Iron: TaylorMade GAPR Lo |4-PW Irons: Nike VR Pro Combo | 54º SW, 60º LW: Titleist Vokey SM8 | Putter: Odyssey Toulon Las Vegas H7

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Ernest Jones Incredible Member

Ernest Jones

Posted
Posted
It is impossible to hit one shot more than once.  I told her to try it and she couldn't do it so she finally agreed with me.

Ha Ha. Classic Gilberg post.

Yours in earnest, Jason.
Call me Ernest, or EJ or Ernie.

PSA - "If you find yourself in a hole, STOP DIGGING!"

My Whackin' Sticks: :cleveland: 330cc 2003 Launcher 10.5*  :tmade: RBZ HL 3w  :nickent: 3DX DC 3H, 3DX RC 4H  :callaway: X-22 5-AW  :nike:SV tour 56* SW :mizuno: MP-T11 60* LW :bridgestone: customized TD-03 putter :tmade:Penta TP3   :aimpoint:

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Golfingdad Incredible Member

Golfingdad

Posted
Posted
Originally Posted by Gilberg

Everytime she hit the ball I could hear her saying to herself - "great golf shot".  I tried to splain to her that they are all golf shots ...

I'm actually gonna go the other route fellas!  I totally agree with this. Why do the announcers have to say "golf shot?"  Do they think I'm gonna get confused and think that Phil Michelson just sent a basketball game into overtime?  Same thing with the football announcers insisting on saying he's a great "football player."  Because, again, I might have been confused and thought he was a Roman Gladiator.  (They also refuse to say NFL ... they must say "National Football League")

OK, I'm done now. ;)

Gilberg, can't wait to hear your next story!  Keep 'em coming!

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MS256 Great Member

MS256

Posted
Posted
Originally Posted by Gilberg

I just really really bad don't want to sound like an indiot when I play with my cousin.

Good luck with that but I figure that horse has already left the barn unless your cousin is a close enough DNA match to not know the difference.


newtogolf Incredible Member

newtogolf

Posted
Posted

Ever since I watched Brian Skatell on Big Break Prince Edward Island I laugh whenever I hear a golfer tell someone they "hit that shot pure" or they "pured" that shot.

Joe Paradiso

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dsc123 Great Member

dsc123

Posted
Posted
Love it!

Dan

:tmade: R11s 10.5*, Adila RIP Phenom 60g Stiff
:ping: G20 3W
:callaway: Diablo 3H
:ping:i20 4-U, KBS Tour Stiff
:vokey: Vokey SM4 54.14 
:vokey: Vokey :) 58.11
:scotty_cameron: Newport 2
:sunmountain: Four 5

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TJBam Great Member

TJBam

Posted
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Ball has landed on the green too hard and is running... "GROW HAIR BALL!!"


dennyjones Incredible Member

dennyjones

Posted
Posted
When I leave a putt short, I yell "Alice!"

From the land of perpetual cloudiness.   I'm Denny

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Ernest Jones Incredible Member

Ernest Jones

Posted
Posted
Originally Posted by teed off

Mindless drivel

Originally Posted by indyvai

Nice Golf Thread!

Nah, you guys are just new. Gilberg is a drive-by prankster of the highest order. Classic stuff. Check out his backlog, funny as hell.

Yours in earnest, Jason.
Call me Ernest, or EJ or Ernie.

PSA - "If you find yourself in a hole, STOP DIGGING!"

My Whackin' Sticks: :cleveland: 330cc 2003 Launcher 10.5*  :tmade: RBZ HL 3w  :nickent: 3DX DC 3H, 3DX RC 4H  :callaway: X-22 5-AW  :nike:SV tour 56* SW :mizuno: MP-T11 60* LW :bridgestone: customized TD-03 putter :tmade:Penta TP3   :aimpoint:

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Wisguy Dedicated Member

Wisguy

Posted
Posted

Years ago I was playing tennis when I jumped up to smash and came down sideways on my ankle.  I splained it pretty badly.

Basically anything that one can hear screamed out immediately during or after a tee shot at a pro golf tournament has to qualify as a top-ten most annoying golf-related expression.

In my bag: - Ping G20 driver, 10.5 deg. S flex - Ping G20 3W, 15 deg., S flex - Nickent 4dx 3H, 4H - Nike Slingshot 4-PW - Adams Tom Watson 52 deg. GW - Vokey 58 deg. SW -Ping Half Wack-E putter


MPtheKid Dedicated Member

MPtheKid

Posted
Posted

Just read the majority of Gilberg's work. He is an absolute gem. Hilarious! I love his style too. Throw a couple posts up and disappear for a bit. Always leave em wanting more. Brillant.

Gilberg - Keep it up guy.

 


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