Gimmie... What would you do?

[Patch]

I look at this perceived problem from another perspective. Good golfing buddies are sometimes hard to come by. You seem to have one. Why let a little thing like a missed putt, or a wrong score mess up that golfing relationship? It's just golf, and not a life or death thing.

40 some years ago I was one of 8 guys who I grew up with, who played golf. We played all the time together. Fast forward. After a few injuries, illnesses, and deaths over the past few years, I am the only one of the 8 still golfing on a regular basis. I miss those guys, and our meetings on the golf course. .

[Sante TwoGloves]

I lost a good friend 30 years ago over a golf outing and the rules of golf. We made our own league where we played 9 holes somewhere different every week for 18 weeks. We established handicaps based on our scores for the season and had a 18 hole net event at a course where none of us had played before.  I was in the final group and watched the favorite and a high handicapper battle it out. The favorite won by one stroke and got all the awards and praise..........until we found out that he had gone and played the course the day before. I was the one who strongly thought  that wasnt right since practice rounds were not allowed. I actually wrote the PGA about it and they responded back. DQ the winner was what they suggested. With the PGA letter and board vote we striped the guy of his trophy and gone was one of my best friends. We have emailed a few times over the years but thats about it. I invited him to play today at the place where we always finished our regular seasons. It would be great if he showed up but doubtful. I dont have any regrets though. Tom's Run was the course and local knowledge is so important on many of those holes. The guy that decided to play a practice round and not tell anyone was the real stickler for rules in the group. Go figure.

[Aflighter]

Well Abu my buddy will just slap at them short 1 footers and sum times it will hit lip and miss but we tell him its good most time before he hits it.next time just say thats good if you think its close enough so this dont happen.a 1 footer is pretty tough to miss unlike 2-3 footers.would hope your friend would do same for you.

[Aflighter]

I lost a good friend 30 years ago over a golf outing and the rules of golf. We made our own league where we played 9 holes somewhere different every week for 18 weeks. We established handicaps based on our scores for the season and had a 18 hole net event at a course where none of us had played before.  I was in the final group and watched the favorite and a high handicapper battle it out. The favorite won by one stroke and got all the awards and praise..........until we found out that he had gone and played the course the day before. I was the one who strongly thought  that wasnt right since practice rounds were not allowed. I actually wrote the PGA about it and they responded back. DQ the winner was what they suggested. With the PGA letter and board vote we striped the guy of his trophy and gone was one of my best friends. We have emailed a few times over the years but thats about it. I invited him to play today at the place where we always finished our regular seasons. It would be great if he showed up but doubtful. I dont have any regrets though. Tom's Run was the course and local knowledge is so important on many of those holes. The guy that decided to play a practice round and not tell anyone was the real stickler for rules in the group. Go figure.

Someone like that isnt someone you should want to be friends with anyways if hed stoop that low just to get an edge.

[mcanadiens]

If it were me, I'd try to make the point about the penalty without making it a big deal. I'd defend the idea that I won 102-103 on that given day. Other than that, the next round is a new day.

[David in FL]

Put me in the over-reacting category on this one.

[Abu3baid]

Thanks everyone.. I had a cup of coffee with him and we both agreed that we both said/did things that we shouldn't have, and next round is a new round!

[turtleback]

Stroke play? Gimmes are against the rules of golf period.

He knows.  This isn't the rules forum.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sante TwoGloves

Stroke play? Gimmes are against the rules of golf period.

In match play they are not.. I can concede a hole at any point in time from what I understand,.

But you indicated you were competing on total score, which is stroke play, not match play.

If you're not playing for money, it doesn't matter so yes, I'd say you over reacted. I play with guys all the time who cheat, doesn't bother me in the least if no $ is on the line. They're just cheating themselves is the way I look at it.

So a competition should not be an actual competition with rules that are followed UNLESS money is on the line?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Abu3baid

Am I over reacting?

I think so, yes. You're not playing for money, just bragging rights, so who cares if he "beat" you or not? Next time just give him a hard time about all his one foot putts because you've seen him miss them

I disagree with almost everyone and do not think you overreacted, at least in the sense of calling him on it and claiming a victory in the match.  I really do not understand the mindset that if you are competing but aren't playing for MONEY you should overlook rules infractions - even ones that violate a particular rule by doing something that you both have explicitly declared you will not do.  If you lose a friend over something as relatively trivial as this, then he wasn't much of a friend.

[Sante TwoGloves]

hmmm....seemed like a rule topic to me. my comment was trying to point out that he said they played by the "rules of golf period" but were actually mixing rules of stroke play and match play. You have broken the rules of good message board etiquette turtleback by misrepresenting my comment im sorry to say. :)

[DrvFrShow]

Friendly game? or Serious game?

Friendly game - <= 1 foot is a gimme. A gimme = It's good, but don't forget to add that stroke on your card.

Now my take on gimmes - you can take the gimme, but you can practice putting it, since at > 100 we're really practicing to play better golf anyway because face it, we suck.

Serious game - no gimmes.

End of story.

Sometimes frustration can get the better of us. Golf can be a very frustrating game, especially when you're scoring over 100. At this level we have enough trouble hitting the ball off perfect lies. So IMO, it's probably best just to go and play a friendly round together. If you want to make it more interesting, play match play. That takes the total score out of the picture. And friendship to me is worth more than arguing over rules, although some people disagree with this position.

I'd just give him a hard time about missing 1' putts. I give myself a hard time about missing 1' putts.

[tefunk]

Unless I'm playing for money, I don't let how other people keep score, bother me. When someone is having a rough day, sometimes it's better to let things slide. You can rib him the next time he's in a better mood. My brother and I give each other some lip service when we play. It's enjoyable to us (even though there's nothing on the line other than sibling bragging rights). But not everyone enjoys being competitive, especially when they're having a bad round.

[JonMA1]

I disagree with almost everyone and do not think you overreacted, at least in the sense of calling him on it and claiming a victory in the match.  I really do not understand the mindset that if you are competing but aren't playing for MONEY you should overlook rules infractions - even ones that violate a particular rule by doing something that you both have explicitly declared you will not do.

I don't think anyone told him not to call his buddy out on it. The two made an agreement and the friend got frustrated and broke the agreement. Most of us just stated that it may not be worth losing a good friend over.

If you lose a friend over something as relatively trivial as this, then he wasn't much of a friend.

@turtleback makes a good point here. If you are to put your friendship above something you feel strongly about - playing by the rules - your friend should be just as understanding and act accordingly in the future.

I'd still give your buddy crap about it Eyad.

[Ongle]

If you're not playing for money, it doesn't matter so yes, I'd say you over reacted. I play with guys all the time who cheat, doesn't bother me in the least if no $ is on the line. They're just cheating themselves is the way I look at it.

Exactly! If you know they cheat then they're not cheating you, just themselves. You should probably relax son, you're not exactly playing to scratch so just enjoy it and losing the plot over your mate trying to give himself a gimmie will just cost you a friend over a really trivial matter.

[zero]

If it's a scored round, it's a scored round. That being said, I'd say just let it go and let his own conscience do the rest. You don't want people living rent-free in your head. :)

[newtogolf]

I think you reacted because of your disappointment that your friend cheated against you rather than the actual incident.  I'm not sure I would have reacted in the way that you did but I've been in similar situations and it did bother me.

A buddy of mine and I had a similar arrangement where we agreed to play weekly matches by the rules.  He was slightly better than me and we'd play head to head for bragging rights.    As my handicap started to drop, I noticed he'd use a foot wedge to improve his lie when he thought I wasn't looking or drop a ball out of his pocket when he was looking for a lost ball so he could try to keep his score lower than mine.  I wouldn't have really cared but it got annoying when we'd finish and he'd brag about how he was still scoring lower than me despite all the lessons I was taking and practice time I was putting in.

We don't play much anymore because it was best we eliminated that level of competition from our friendship.  We'll play in scrambles, and other charity events together but I try to avoid the head to head stuff.

[mvmac]

I think even if I was playing my friend for money I would still retroactively give it to him, it was just a 1 ft putt. I wouldn't want to win a hole/match by calling out a guy for missing a putt that is clearly good or "in the leather".

I also most likely would have given it to him before he had a chance to even address the putt. If he had a habit of ignoring my "that's good", then made half assed attempts where the ball didn't go in and wrote down 4 instead of 5, then that would be an issue.

[flopster]

No it's not.. But, I'm not saying that I'm going to be losing a friend here.. And we don't gamble at all ever, so does that mean that our games don't mean anything?

Let us assume that were gambling for something, there is something to be won and lost here even if it is not material.. I'm assuming even when you guys gamble most of you aren't gambling for 000's of $$ right?

What would you guys do?

I would just say OK this one time but from now on only you can concede a putt for him and likewise and if a stranger happens to do it just kindly replace the ball and hit the putt I guarantee they will not do it again, sometimes there has to be some clarification, when me and one of my friends used to play we allowed 1 mulligan but it was only the first shot on the first hole and that was it everything counted from then on.

[jcjim]

I haven't read all the threads but first you don't play by the rules of golf..second You don't play for money.. your scores are close to meaningless unless you create some hard rules about your play....one rule is everyone must putt out and all putts count in your score period...

Many start playing as you do and break up because they don't have hard rules to settle little issues before they become bigger...