To all you Distance Monkeys...

[bones75]

I have a friend who got into golf late in life (mid thirties).  It's been 5 years now and he plays 50-100 rounds a year.  Can count the number of times he's broken 100 on one hand.

His form is good enough to be shooting regularly in the nineties, but dude just want's to friggin' massacre the ball every time he swings (driver to wedge). I tell him if he swings 75%, he won't be making quad+ bogeys 6+ times a round, but he's just drunk on distance (and he ain't even long!).  Every time he hits a good shot, he breaks out his phone app to measure it. One time in the last five years, on a rock hard and dry fairway, downhill AND down wind... he hit one 260.  So now he thinks he's "got 260 in his bag". Dude carries his driver less than 200 yards, but won't give up his stiff shaft...  again, cuz "he's got 260 in his bag".

We'll play in a group, and someone will beat him (literally) by 30 strokes on any given day, but on one hole he'll hit his 5 iron into a green (with 50 yards of roll) while that other person hit a 5-wood and came up short.  His swing is totally out of control, but he walks off the tee thinking he's finally got it figured out.  I don't mind him thinking he's got game, but I think he's a goddamn idiot and his attitude is killing his game.  I usually just let him do his thing, but sometimes I just get frustrated when he gets all huffy on why he just shot a 112.

And I'm not just talking about my friend.  But Distance Monkeys (as i call them) drive me batty sometime.  They'll need two mulligans off the tee cuz they're swinging so damned hard that they either whiff or go 75 yards OB, but then they'll hit an (admittedly) great shot and "par" out from there (i.e. a quad).  And they think that's how they're supposed to play the hole.  Basically they're turning every single shot into a low percentage shot.  Like a boxer with nothing but haymakers in his arsenal.

Distance Monkey's DO NOT APPLY TO: (i) good golfers and (ii) golfers who don't give a rat's ass about their score.  If you can swing hard but you're in control and in play, you're not a distance monkey... and if you're on the course to just get your frustrations out about your wife by destroying balls, then you're not a distance monkey.  

Distance Monkey's DO APPLY TO: both "low scoring" and high scoring golfers. I use quotes for "low scoring" golfers to apply to you Monkeys who can carry the ball 260, but half of them are lost, OB, or are a 100 yard grounder.  Do the math, Monkey... if you've got 6 stroke and distance penalties every round (whether you admit it or not), then you're not shooting low eighties.

So basically if you're swinging as hard as you can every shot but are hitting them all over the map, and..

  .... if you are really focused on improving your game, or
  .... if you play for money and want to win (even if it's just a friendly nassau with friends), or
  .... if you complain about your crappy ass scores cuz you "know" you're a way better golfer than your scorecard shows..

... then chances are you're a Distance Monkey and you need to get your head checked if you really want to improve...  and like my good friend, you may spend 5 years of swinging out of your boots just to break 100 once out of every 75 rounds.  Hey, we all need better course management skills, and I'm not saying you can't get good form/game by swinging hard, but there's thousands (millions?) of you overly-grunting Monkeys out there that are just too, too much.

Forgive the rant, but my friend just shot a 112 and is just puzzled.. and I'm here thinking that 13 of the penalty strokes I just saw him pick up were totally avoidable.  I'm not saying I'm a good golfer either, but with my head and my friend's swing, I wouldn't be shooting over 100 very often imho.

 

 

Edited December 6, 2015 by bones75

[be_the_ball]

I'd say most people have been this golfer at some time in their life, or at least knows someone like it. Funnily enough the best thing you could do to help your friend is to get a little action going, it doesn't have to be a lot say $5 a side and $5 overall. So the most he can lose is $15. Its really just for bragging rights! This will get him more focused on the number he has to write into the little box on the score card and less on distance.

[caniac6]

If it bothers you that much, don't play with him.

[JBailey]

40 years ago, when I was young, flexible and stupid, I was your friend.  My stated goal was to hit every par 4 at my home course that was less than 360 yds. in one.  I got most of them -- on hot, dry, windy August days.  And this was in the persimmon age.

My handicap was 16.  One day the club pro approached me on the first tee.  I say approached, but it was almost "attacked."  He seemed upset with me and told me -- it was more like a demand -- to come and take a series of lessons with him.  He gave me the lessons in his garage so I wouldn't see where the ball was going.  He did two things during those lessons.  One, he convinced me that, given adequate distance, accuracy was much more important to scoring than being the longest driver.  Two, he had me weaken my grip.

He readily admitted I would lose yardage but said I would cut my handicap in half.  He knew, and I should have known, that the last 10-20 yds. of my drives were putting me in the woods all too often.  Instead of my normal 280-290 yds. off the tee, I was getting around 270.  In one month I was a 8.  I was still considered a power golfer by most, but my scores were vastly improved.  I became accuracy obsessed.

I bounced around an 8 to 10 handicap for many years.  I was building my own clubs and read an article about high degree drivers improving accuracy off the tee.  So, I built a 13.5 degree Dynacraft driver.  My length decreased, but I still averaged 260 yds.  However, my accuracy increased significantly.  I became a solid 5 handicap with forays down as far as 2 a couple of times.

I've read all the information that will tell you that distance is more important than accuracy.  I'm not a believer and think that for most folks, accuracy isn't just important, but is the name of the game.

I hope your friend gets a visit from a pro like I did.  Or, maybe, he'll just wise up and take your advice.

Later,

John

[SavvySwede]

2 hours ago, caniac6 said:

If it bothers you that much, don't play with him.

Ditto. Or just show him your post.

[mailman]

Quite some rant there Bones :)

To be honest, what does your friends golf have to do with you though? Instead of slagging him off you should be grateful you guys actually have something in common with each other.

Regards

Mailman

[DrvFrShow]

Your friend probably doesn't even keep an official handicap. He probably just plays "for fun." Just let him do his thing and be thankful you have a friend to play with.

[bones75]

Yea sooo....  I went off there and am a feeling red-faced for it.  Wife and kids at my sisters, fresh bottle of McKellan 18 and late night makes me a little belligerent on the keyboard.

That said, Caniac and Swede and the like: I'm really just talking about my friend, this wasn't supposed to be about me.. I DO want to golf with him and I DO care a lot.  His wife and mine have become pretty close the last few years, so when they hang out we get to golf.  And he's a good friend for 20 years and we were on the same x-country team in college and were competitive with each other.  I really want him to improve (I've bough him lessons as bday/xmas gifts four times).  And he really, really wants to improve.  So I get annoyed with him.  Looking back, perhaps my post belonged in the "why won't they take steps to improve.." thread.

I'm tired of giving him 12+ strokes a side and tired of seeing him struggle and not improve. Some years he gets out 100 times!!!!  100% of us always try to be at least a little longer off the tee, but then there's those golfers that go way beyond this... he's just OBSESSED with distance.  Even when people in our group are out-driving his "good" drives by like 60 yards.  I just don't get it.

 And a caveat on the other Monkeys out there: I actually love playing against them (they're almost more dependable income for me then my job), but it does drive me crazy when they're on my side and $'s on the line.

  

49 minutes ago, DrvFrShow said:

Your friend probably doesn't even keep an official handicap. He probably just plays "for fun." Just let him do his thing and be thankful you have a friend to play with.

He keeps a handicap religiously, tracks all his stats... but there's only one he apparently cares about.  Technically his average driving distance is like 150 yards, cuz although his decent drives go over 200, he dribbles so many of them off the tee...

Edited December 6, 2015 by bones75

[Moppy]

I have gotten distance drunk in the past. I start hitting it good, carrying some trees on a dogleg, whatever, and instead of keeping doing what I am doing, I get sucked into trying to hit it longer and end up hitting it shorter.  Golf takes a tremendous amount of mental discipline.

[isukgolf]

Not sure the last time I swung as hard as I could ... I just don't get good results when I do.

[DrvFrShow]

1 hour ago, bones75 said:

 

  

He keeps a handicap religiously, tracks all his stats... but there's only one he apparently cares about.  Technically his average driving distance is like 150 yards, cuz although his decent drives go over 200, he dribbles so many of them off the tee...

I want more distance and I want it now! Truth! I know I have only about 230 - 240 in the bag. I use an A-flex shaft because it's easier to hit. I play 11.5 degrees because it's easier to hit. I get about 215 - 220 carry distance, but the drives aren't decent these days. I need a lesson on the driver. 

Perhaps your friend needs to take some lessons? Perhaps if he understood that a qualified pro could teach him how to swing the club better and make better contact with the ball and he could hit the ball further with less effort he might go for it?

I mean three years ago I could only hit my 7 iron 112 yds. It went straight, but it only went 112 yds. Now, because I've had lessons and learned how to make solid contact with the ball I can get 155 carry distance with it (but remember the loft on the club and the length more resemble a "standard" 6 iron). Still it's technique. So if he wants distance he needs to learn technique.

[Gator Hazard]

Ok, Im offended. Mid thirties "late in life"?  Im 39 and just started, I guess I should just  trade my clubs in for tennis balls.....to cut open and shove on my walker. Someone pass me the prune juice! 

[bones75]

 

6 minutes ago, Gator Hazard said:

Ok, Im offended. Mid thirties "late in life"?  Im 39 and just started, I guess I should just  trade my clubs in for tennis balls.....to cut open and shove on my walker. Someone pass me the prune juice! 

Haha, sorry man.  That was rude of me.  Just seems people are learning golf earlier and earlier.  There was no golf team at my high school when i was there.  But these days seems more kids are picking it up young. 

[mcanadiens]

Distance and a massive lack of it is one of the banes of my golfing existence. Maybe I'm the opposite of the guy's friend. Taking a big swing means a guaranteed miss. So I try to make due with my crappy 210 yard bunts. It can be pretty frustrating.

[Gator Hazard]

5 minutes ago, bones75 said:

 

Haha, sorry man.  That was rude of me.  Just seems people are learning golf earlier and earlier.  There was no golf team at my high school when i was there.  But these days seems more kids are picking it up young. 

No worries just having some fun with you. 

[caniac6]

2 hours ago, bones75 said:

Yea sooo....  I went off there and am a feeling red-faced for it.  Wife and kids at my sisters, fresh bottle of McKellan 18 and late night makes me a little belligerent on the keyboard.

That said, Caniac and Swede and the like: I'm really just talking about my friend, this wasn't supposed to be about me.. I DO want to golf with him and I DO care a lot.  His wife and mine have become pretty close the last few years, so when they hang out we get to golf.  And he's a good friend for 20 years and we were on the same x-country team in college and were competitive with each other.  I really want him to improve (I've bough him lessons as bday/xmas gifts four times).  And he really, really wants to improve.  So I get annoyed with him.  Looking back, perhaps my post belonged in the "why won't they take steps to improve.." thread.

I'm tired of giving him 12+ strokes a side and tired of seeing him struggle and not improve. Some years he gets out 100 times!!!!  100% of us always try to be at least a little longer off the tee, but then there's those golfers that go way beyond this... he's just OBSESSED with distance.  Even when people in our group are out-driving his "good" drives by like 60 yards.  I just don't get it.

 And a caveat on the other Monkeys out there: I actually love playing against them (they're almost more dependable income for me then my job), but it does drive me crazy when they're on my side and $'s on the line.

  

He keeps a handicap religiously, tracks all his stats... but there's only one he apparently cares about.  Technically his average driving distance is like 150 yards, cuz although his decent drives go over 200, he dribbles so many of them off the tee...

As long as he is a good guy, and your wives are happy, I wouldn't worry. Judging by the passion in your post, it seems to bother you more than him. Don't let it ruin your round. He will either get it, or he won't. This is like a lot of other goofy behavior. No matter what good intentions you have, the guy doing the goofy stuff will have to decide to make things better. Until then, enjoy his company,take his money, and keep the wives happy. Good luck.

[billchao]

15 hours ago, caniac6 said:

As long as he is a good guy, and your wives are happy, I wouldn't worry. Judging by the passion in your post, it seems to bother you more than him. Don't let it ruin your round. He will either get it, or he won't. This is like a lot of other goofy behavior. No matter what good intentions you have, the guy doing the goofy stuff will have to decide to make things better. Until then, enjoy his company,take his money, and keep the wives happy. Good luck.

I agree with this. @bones75 you can't make your friend improve, he is going to have to come to that on his own. Just enjoy the fact that you can golf with a good friend.

I've seen a lot of people get frustrated at bad shots and it has nothing to do with a desire to get better. There's a guy I golf with that's been playing for 40 years and I'm a better golfer than he is. He gets mad when he hits a bad shot but never has indicated to me that he wants to practice or take lessons. He's convinced he will get better when he retires and can play more and I have never pushed the issue with him.

[Grumpter]

I played with an admitted distance junky on Sunday. Seemed like he enjoyed himself, but did get down on himself throughout the day. He even mentioned that he realized it meant some days he would have a horrible day but he felt the days he was on made it worth it. I see nothing wrong with his approach. If that's the way someone wants to play it makes no difference to me.