Joining strangers on the course: I get it now

[krupa]

Since there was no golf to watch last night, I went over to the course to play 9 holes.  In the clubhouse, the guy tells me that there are 2 foursomes and 2 twosomes ahead of me so I'm expecting a slow night.  As I approach the first tee, a twosome is teeing off.  Usually in this situation, one of two things happen:

1)  They look at each other and "invite" me to join them.  Their tone and body language scream, "we don't really want you to join us but feel obligated to ask."  In this case, I politely decline and say that it's a nice night and I'm extremely patient so they should just go on ahead.

2)  They glance at me out of the corner of their eye, pretend they don't see me, and just head down the fairway.

Last night, however, they saw me coming and without any hesitation asked me to join them.  It ended up being a very nice round.  No one kept score but they were both racking up pars.  True to form, I was stinking up the place, but they never said one bad word, and were very complimentary when I did manage a good shot.

So after 9 holes, I thanked them again for inviting me to play and said something like, "I'm sure I'll see you on the course again." and their response was "course!?  We'll see you around the village, at the restaurants, and festivals!"  (We live in a small village so it's very likely to see them again.)

So yeah... good round with a couple really nice guys.  I wonder if it's an age thing.  When I encounter guys younger than me (41 tomorrow), they just want to do their thing.  The older guys (and I guess I'm starting to lean that way) are the more friendly, inclusive golfers in my experience.

[Patch]

I have found over the years, that most golfers (99%) you meet on the course for the first time are are a credit to the game. Politeness,  with integrity added in, is a really good thing, and is what golf is all about. 

[Jeremie Boop]

This reminds me of the twosome I got joined up with in NJ when I went there for vacation. Couldn't have asked for a better couple of guys to get paired up with randomly. That and I always offer to let others join me on the course, however I pretty much never get the offer to join anyone else. Even this week when I caught up to a twosome of younger guys, after sitting there for about 5 or 6 minutes talking to them while we waited for them to be able to tee off they play then say, "we'll see you on the next tee".... So, even knowing that we would all be waiting the next hole they just decided to let me wait another 5+ minutes to play as I waited for them. I didn't get upset but I was a bit disappointed, because I had been playing so well and just like always the wait ended up causing me to struggle on the last 2 holes.

[mcanadiens]

Playing alone as much as I do, joining others is something that happens frequently. If nothing else, it evens out the pace on those busy weekends on the munis that I play.

Probably 90% of the time, it turns out well. I've met a few people that I consider friends that way. Once it a while, it turns out badly for one reason or another. Sometimes it's just a poor match rather than the other guys (or me for that matter) really being problematic.  Even then, it's probably good to have the experience.

[krupa]

8 minutes ago, Jeremie Boop said:

This reminds me of the twosome I got joined up with in NJ when I went there for vacation. Couldn't have asked for a better couple of guys to get paired up with randomly. That and I always offer to let others join me on the course, however I pretty much never get the offer to join anyone else. Even this week when I caught up to a twosome of younger guys, after sitting there for about 5 or 6 minutes talking to them while we waited for them to be able to tee off they play then say, "we'll see you on the next tee".... So, even knowing that we would all be waiting the next hole they just decided to let me wait another 5+ minutes to play as I waited for them. I didn't get upset but I was a bit disappointed, because I had been playing so well and just like always the wait ended up causing me to struggle on the last 2 holes.

This happens to me a lot as well.  Once I know the people in front of me aren't going to let me play through or join them, I usually start playing two balls to slow my own pace a little.

Just now, mcanadiens said:

Playing alone as much as I do, joining others is something that happens frequently. If nothing else, it evens out the pace on those busy weekendson the munis that I play.

Probably 90% of the time, it turns out well. I've met a few people that I consider friends that way. Once it a while, it turns out badly for one reason or another. Sometimes it's just a poor match rather than the other guys (or me for that matter) really being problematic.  Even then, it's probably good to have the experience.

I play probably 95% or more of my rounds alone and rarely get invited to join other groups.  Usually I'm ignored or get the offer to play-through (which I take.)  I guess everyone assumes that if I started alone, I want to play alone.  I don't mind playing alone but I'm also open to joining other groups.  In the past when the pace was slow, if a twosome offered to let me play through, I would ask if they minded if I joined them because the course was slow, but the response was always an awkward "uh... yeah, I guess so" so I stopped doing it.

[xcott]

If you're not going out as a foursome, you should expect that there is a liklihood you will be playing with somebody else. 

[krupa]

3 minutes ago, xcott said:

If you're not going out as a foursome, you should expect that there is a liklihood you will be playing with somebody else. 

Not in my experience.  I go to the course alone or with one other person.  As a I said, as a single I am rarely invited to join other people.  I think last night was the first time all season and I've played probably 15-20 9- or 18- hole rounds so far.  As a twosome?  Never.  

 

[jkelley9]

I'm 28 years old. I much prefer playing with the older guys (relatively speaking) than the younger guys. Usually they're more laid back, which is more my style. The younger guys (around my age down to high schoolers) are louder and more obnoxious, are in a frantic hurry, or are painfully slow. They're more prone to drinking and yammering on at the course. I don't mind people drinking but the younger guys act like a round of golf is a party... Usually the older guys have played longer and have played more course so I like to get recommendations from them and ask them where there favorite places to play are. 

I don't mean to stereotype. There's some good apples too in my age group.

[Fourputt]

1 hour ago, xcott said:

If you're not going out as a foursome, you should expect that there is a liklihood you will be playing with somebody else. 

I think that depends a lot on the locale.  I played most of my golf through the years in the Denver metro area, and there it's usually a given that you will be paired up - you don't usually have a choice, because whenever it's possible, the starter will hook you up with another group before you start.  When I do start alone, it's with the expectation that I will join up if I overtake anything less than a foursome.

Out here in farm country (130 miles NE of Denver), it seems less common to join up with another group unless I ask.  But since I play most of my golf here on weekdays and the courses are nearly empty then, there is less incentive for a group to extend the invitation.  The guys who play most of their golfer around here just haven't had the same experience that I have and don't think about asking a single to join them.  They assume that since he's playing alone, that's how he wants it.

[deadon500]

Being 64 all the times I have went to play 9 or 18 as a single  9 out of 10 I get to play with others --- I will bet less than a 10  times it was not fun  ---   had a great time with all others.

[jgreen85]

I don't think I've ever had a bad experience grouped up. I show up as a single and am typically paired with whoever. Always pretty good people. I typically get along with most. I can handle the talkers and handle the guys who just want to play fast and listen to his headphones. 

I'm out golfing; it's always good to be out golfing.

[longdrive23]

I usually end up going alone as my plans are last minute. 

I dont wait to be invited, if I feel the group is not snobby, I ask if I can join them. It's awkward being stuck between a two/threesome ahead and a foursome behind. 

[Patch]

I think that when going out as a single, most of those golfers are comfortable with their games. They know how they are going to play when put with strangers. It matters little what the handicaps involved are. 

There has been several times when I have played with 3 other walk on players. None of us knew each other. Some were good players. Some not so good. However, by the end of the round we were best golfing buds. 

[Jeremie Boop]

I had the pleasure of playing some golf with a young man today who was quite good and very well mannered. The guy could hit the ball a ton, but at no point did he say or do anything that made me feel like I didn't deserve to play with him. He complimented my good shots and said nothing when I hit a bad on. I asked him if he was a scratch player, he said "close, I'm right around 1 HC". He was about a club longer than me or so for the most part, but obviously he was very consistent. The only thing I saw about his game that wasn't good was putting. He tended to hit the ball with a lot more pace than necessary. Unfortunately I wasn't able to snag him as a regular playing partner, because he already had a group of guys his age he typically plays with.

[inthehole]

The only thing I"ve learned is to never "invite myself" when I'm playing alone.   I've asked twosomes in front of me if they mind if I join them & it's usually not the most comfortable round.    I always let them invite me now ... if they don't, probably better for both of us if I play alone ...

[Ernest Jones]

12 hours ago, krupa said:

Since there was no golf to watch last night, I went over to the course to play 9 holes.  In the clubhouse, the guy tells me that there are 2 foursomes and 2 twosomes ahead of me so I'm expecting a slow night.  As I approach the first tee, a twosome is teeing off.  Usually in this situation, one of two things happen:

1)  They look at each other and "invite" me to join them.  Their tone and body language scream, "we don't really want you to join us but feel obligated to ask."  In this case, I politely decline and say that it's a nice night and I'm extremely patient so they should just go on ahead.

2)  They glance at me out of the corner of their eye, pretend they don't see me, and just head down the fairway.

Last night, however, they saw me coming and without any hesitation asked me to join them.  It ended up being a very nice round.  No one kept score but they were both racking up pars.  True to form, I was stinking up the place, but they never said one bad word, and were very complimentary when I did manage a good shot.

So after 9 holes, I thanked them again for inviting me to play and said something like, "I'm sure I'll see you on the course again." and their response was "course!?  We'll see you around the village, at the restaurants, and festivals!"  (We live in a small village so it's very likely to see them again.)

So yeah... good round with a couple really nice guys.  I wonder if it's an age thing.  When I encounter guys younger than me (41 tomorrow), they just want to do their thing.  The older guys (and I guess I'm starting to lean that way) are the more friendly, inclusive golfers in my experience.

Best part of golf IMO. 

[CCC]

This is a good topic. And some great posts to match.

 

[Buckeyebowman]

I've had it cut both ways, young guys who were more than happy to let me join them, or who seemed very glad to join our group, and old guys who looked at me like my face was covered with bleeding string warts! It wasn't, BTW.

I will say that I've enjoyed the vast majority of times I've joined up with others or invited others to join me. The bad experiences have been very few. One time it turned into "old home week"! I was trying to get out for 9 at a very busy local course. It is 36 holes, owned by the local Metroparks district, and is a golf factory! Also, the starters there absolutely rule!

The place was jammed and the starter suggested I try to join up with a threesome waiting to tee off on #10 of the North Course. I walked down there, and when I introduced myself to one member of the group I heard a guy say, "I know that voice!" I look up on the tee and it's, "Dave? Gary?" Turns out we knew each other in college! Even played a little golf back then. He married a local girl, but moved away and we lost touch.

So, we got to go out again and bust balls just like back in the old days! Then we had a couple of beers after the round and caught up. You never know what might happen. It won't always be like this, but I think it will be an overall positive experience.