The "friendly wager" dilemma....

[iacas]

1 hour ago, David in FL said:

For $6, I wouldn't raise hell if a stranger rolled his ball if he's got the need to do that.

I just enjoy having something on the game.  Hell, a coke is fine.  

I don't disparage those that don't bet, and they're welcome to join me any time, but I'll throw a couple of bucks into the game if even a stranger asks.  

The point remains… YOU might be fine for $6 or even $60, but other people even when playing for fifty cents turn into dicks, and sometimes it's best to avoid the risk.

[MuniGrit]

I never bet too much with strangers. Too many people play goofy such as rolling their ball to a good lie, picking up 4 footers for par/bog, and not hitting 3 off the tee when they obviously sent their tee shot into the local neighborhood houses.

[Shindig]

12 minutes ago, MuniGrit said:

I never bet too much with strangers. Too many people play goofy such as rolling their ball to a good lie, picking up 4 footers for par/bog, and not hitting 3 off the tee when they obviously sent their tee shot into the local neighborhood houses.

"Oh, I'll be fine.  It opens up over there."

"No it doesn't, that's someone's living room."

[MrDC]

I've never been asked to play for money by a stranger, so this has to be super rare. But if I did my explanation would be simple- I don't know anything about your game so we can't make a fair wager, let's just play.

Edited July 20, 2017 by MrDC

[BamaWade]

My rules for bets w/strangers (and I've been prompted quite a few times through they years): Limited to $1 or $2 per side, a beer, or I'll play cheap snakes.

About half the time they ask if I wanna play for a buck or two per side (perfect!).  The other half, I just get asked if I'm interested in putting "a little" on it.  Standard answer just as above: "Sure, if we limit it to a buck or two a side, cheap snakes, or a beer."  So far, that answer has always been happily accepted, and never been pressed for more.  If they did, it'd be a big hell no...put politely.   But, honestly, it's always been a friendly thing, and never gone sour.  I've never gotten hustled or had anyone be a dick.

Only time I got into a weird betting situation was when an older family member invited me out to his super-posh, old-money club years ago.  He told me "We're in for $5 per something or another with something or another presses, and this and that, etc., etc...I think we'll come out even or on the good side, but let me know if you're not okay with that."  My betting games have always been simple (skins, nassau, etc., as I don't want to spend my limited? brain power on the golf course doing calculus).  So I had no idea what in the world we were playing or what I was in for, but he'd covered my round at an exclusive place I'd otherwise never play, so I gave a nod.  At the end of the round, he handed me a five-spot or two, I gave him a blank look, and he shook his head and grumbled that we should've gotten more out of 'em.

[David in FL]

55 minutes ago, iacas said:

The point remains… YOU might be fine for $6 or even $60, but other people even when playing for fifty cents turn into dicks, and sometimes it's best to avoid the risk.

Although I don't have any reason to doubt that it's happened to you, I've never had someone turn dickish over a couple of bucks.  If they did, my response would be not to play with them again, not to avoid another small bet with someone else.  Life's too short to play golf with someone who's wound that tight.  

 

[iacas]

6 minutes ago, David in FL said:

Although I don't have any reason to doubt that it's happened to you, I've never had someone turn dickish over a couple of bucks.  If they did, my response would be not to play with them again, not to avoid another small bet with someone else.  Life's too short to play golf with someone who's wound that tight.  

They're strangers, so you're probably never going to play golf with them again. Or even see them again…

Spoiling your day is not worth a few bucks, so it's one of those lessons you learn once.

It happened to me once, over a decade ago. I started birdie birdie and the guy was pissed about the $15 he might lose if he continued to lose (a $5 Nassau)… and I called off the bet. I think he might have even broke even or won $5 in the end if he'd stuck with it… but whatever.

So, never again. His attitude about getting sharked or whatever ruined the day for everyone in the group, even though the bet was his idea and just between the two of us.

[MuniGrit]

6 minutes ago, iacas said:

They're strangers, so you're probably never going to play golf with them again. Or even see them again…

Spoiling your day is not worth a few bucks, so it's one of those lessons you learn once.

It happened to me once, over a decade ago. I started birdie birdie and the guy was pissed about the $15 he might lose if he continued to lose (a $5 Nassau)… and I called off the bet. I think he might have even broke even or won $5 in the end if he'd stuck with it… but whatever.

So, never again. His attitude about getting sharked or whatever ruined the day for everyone in the group, even though the bet was his idea and just between the two of us.

It is amazing what 5 bucks or less can mean to someone on the course as you mentioned.

[David in FL]

5 minutes ago, iacas said:

They're strangers, so you're probably never going to play golf with them again. Or even see them again…

Spoiling your day is not worth a few bucks, so it's one of those lessons you learn once.

It happened to me once, over a decade ago. I started birdie birdie and the guy was pissed about the $15 he might lose if he continued to lose (a $5 Nassau)… and I called off the bet. I think he might have even broke even or won $5 in the end if he'd stuck with it… but whatever.

So, never again. His attitude about getting sharked or whatever ruined the day for everyone in the group, even though the bet was his idea and just between the two of us.

We just look at it differently.  I'm not going to allow the possibility of running into a "once in a decade" dick keep me from enjoying hundreds of otherwise fun rounds that have a small wager on them.  If, as the OP mentions, someone asks if I want to play for a couple of bucks, I'll always agree to at least a small sumptin' on the side.  

It's also worth noting, that many, if not the majority of my golf buddies, started out as a stranger met on the course.  That's one of the great things about this silly game. 

[iacas]

Just now, David in FL said:

We just look at it differently.  I'm not going to allow the possibility of running into a "once in a decade" dick keep me from enjoying hundreds of otherwise fun rounds that have a small wager on them.

$2 or $5 or $20 doesn't affect MY fun one way or the other. A guy being a dick can affect my fun one way or the other.

Just now, David in FL said:

If, as the OP mentions, someone asks if I want to play for a couple of bucks, I'll always agree to at least a small sumptin' on the side.

And given my past experience, I won't. The juice ain't worth the squeeze.

[Valleygolfer]

I don't mind as long as it isn't too much money. I just look at it as paying for entertainment. I won't bet any more than I am comfortable losing (I am not really a gambler in any way). Secondly, I have a demeanor that people don't really press me about anything so I rarely come into a situation where someone tests me.

If I don't want to bet, I say no and its end of story. I look at betting like lending money. If I get it back great, if I don't, I am prepared to not get it back then. I never expect to get lended money back but it is a good way to find out someone's character.

[Golfingdad]

I doubt I would ever play a stranger for money but I don't know that I'll ever have the answer to that question because an offer has never been extended.  I've enjoyed plenty of rounds of golf with strangers without having money on the line and I have every reason to believe that none of those rounds would have been more enjoyable if I had.

[GolfLug]

Only once have I had money involved with strangers. It was with a 3 some. They offered me to join for $2/6 holes rotating partners team bet. So max $6 online. Don't remember the outcome but it was ok since I thought was fair bet and seemed really nice fellas. They absolutely did not push.

But yeah, have played with lot of strangers and almost never have I been asked to bet money. One on one would strike me as odd regardless of amount.

 

[14ledo81]

2 hours ago, iacas said:

$2 or $5 or $20 doesn't affect MY fun one way or the other. A guy being a dick can affect my fun one way or the other.

And given my past experience, I won't. The juice ain't worth the squeeze.

I'm thinking it's not actually the money for @David in FL.  Otherwise why bother betting such a small amount?  It just makes the game more enjoyable for him.

Myself? I rarely ever bet on anything. It's not worth it to me.

[iacas]

22 minutes ago, 14ledo81 said:

I'm thinking it's not actually the money for @David in FL.  Otherwise why bother betting such a small amount?  It just makes the game more enjoyable for him.

That's my point. The money increases the risk of finding a dick while doing nothing to increase the enjoyment.

There's no upside. Just downside.

I occasionally bet people I know.

[David in FL]

15 minutes ago, 14ledo81 said:

I'm thinking it's not actually the money for @David in FL.  Otherwise why bother betting such a small amount?  It just makes the game more enjoyable for him.

Myself? I rarely ever bet on anything. It's not worth it to me.

Absolutely right.  I've always said, I'd rather win $5 from one of my buddies, than find a $100 bill on the ground!  

It's also worth remembering that the question posed in the OP is about someone who asks me to play for money.  I don't actively go trolling for "suckers" on my own.  

If someone is paired with us, we will generally tell them that what game we're playing and invite them to join in.  If they decline, no problem at all.  Maybe I've just been lucky over the last 40+ years, but I've never run into a problem with anyone getting upset one way or another...

...Shooting pool, now that's a different story.    

[JonMA1]

The whole idea about getting angry over a bet is just bizarre.

I don't like gambling very much either. However, I've thought about challenging some of TST Michigan boys to come play my home course. Not sure what the wager could be...maybe pay for their round if they can shoot their average from the tips, or just buy a round of drinks afterwards regardless.

[billchao]

I wouldn't bet with a complete stranger. I barely play people I know for money. I stopped playing with this one guy I know because he was a real jerk on the course when he was losing (it was $1 Nassau ffs). One hole I pitched it to less than 2' and I thought I heard him say good so I picked up the par putt and I heard him say something like "now he's giving himself putts" to a partner. That was the last round I ever played with him.

24 minutes ago, iacas said:

I occasionally bet people I know.

And you refused to collect 

As an aside, the game you helped set up on the second day at Stoneleigh actually made my round more enjoyable. I was hitting the ball so poorly that day, it was nice to score some points and have something worth playing for.