one liners you've heard

[sdgolfer]

after a guy hits one or two fat. "your irons need to call Jenny Craig"

[ghalfaire]

I was having a tough hole one day and chipped in for a double.  My buddy says "nice chip", to which I replied "it was for a double bogie".  He responded " better than a 2" putt for 7".

[FLOG4]

After 4 have hit and 3 have executed good shots ie hit fairway, hit green....and one didn't.....I say Beer Frame. A bowling term when everybody strikes but one....

[sdgolfer]

you shot six, yelled fore and wrote down par????

[fairwayguy2]

When people ask me to describe my game I say "long and wrong"

[9wood]

I now play in the low 80's. Any hotter than that and I stay home.

Got -2  on my last round of golf. -2 is my lost ball count

My golf friend calls a worm burner shot a sister in law - on top of her but you know you probably shouldn't be.

[PJCdude]

A topped or fat strike: "Nice layup"

A shot clearly into the woods: "I think it opens up over there"

[gn87berner]

One I made up. For a shank I say "tough pitch, but you fought it off" Worm burner... double play ball or base hit up the middle Popped up......infield fly rule

[Ernest Jones]

When someone tops or fats the ball I like to holler "FORE"!!!

[Gerald Fritz]

These are great. I need to come up with my own. Only ones I use are from the movie "Tin Cup"

Whenever a friend is debating about what club to hit, the response is always, "I highly recommend the shovel."

Not very creative :(

[Dormie2015]

I have and have heard a lot of good ones, most of them are in here already in various wordings :)

A decent shot but a player not happy with it - "that was a condom shot." "It's safe but it didn't feel as good as you wanted it to."

A putt left just short - "That was a Cuban putt....just needed one more revolution"

A terrible putt - "Other than the speed and the line, that was pretty good!"

Frequently when I mishit a chip really bad and it's obvious I yell "Be Good!" or "Get in the hole"  that seems to generate some laughter and thus make me feel less terrible about it :)

[CraiginKSA]

After a particularly bad shot, I'll say, "My problem is, my swing keeps repeating."

If a guy is having an amazing day with his short game, "Up and down like a *****'s knickers."

If i make a sand save or recovery for par from a really bad tee shot, "I'm going to play the hole like that from now on!"

[jsgolfer]

"Be the Wrench' when the ball looks to be flying rigjt at the flag. Or a shot way left for right handed is a Thurman (Dead Yank) Another is when your drive flies well past your playing partners, Say That was a Linda Rondstat. "Blew by You"

[sjduffers]

From an email some golf buddy sent me a while back...

Some golf terms to use when you're on the course..

A 'Rock Hudson' - a putt that looked straight, but wasn't.

A 'Saddam Hussein' - from one bunker into another.

A 'Yasser Arafat' - butt ugly and in the sand.

A 'John Kennedy Jr.' - didn't quite make it over the water.

A 'Rodney King' - over-clubbed.

An 'O.J.'- got away with one.

A 'Princess Grace' - should have used a driver.

A 'Princess Di' - shouldn't have used the driver.

A 'Condom' - safe, but didn't feel very good.

A 'Brazilian' - shaved the hole.

A 'Rush Limbaugh' - a little to the right.

A 'Nancy Pelosi' - Way to the left and out of bounds.

A 'James Joyce' - a putt that's impossible to read.

A 'Ted Kennedy' - goes in the water and jumps out.

A 'Pee Wee Herman' - too much wrist.

A 'Sonny Bono' - straight into the trees.

[acetoolguy]

While discussing another golfer I said he was so bad he had to regrip his ball retriever.

[DrvFrShow]

I have to go on a fat-free diet.

Anyone need a toupee?

It slices, it dices, it makes julienne fries.

[Yukari]

I got paired up with a threesome a few days ago and after three or four lip outs putts one of the guy says:

I see you are into cunnilingus.

At first I wasn't sure I heard that right, and then he said it again after I had another lip out.

Funniest/weirdest comment I've heard on a golf course.

[Cali Ace]

^That one flew over my head..... GOLF Gentlemen Only Ladies Forbidden.