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The Films and Movies Thread

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We've been busy with the end of school for my kids, and the winding down of digital learning for my students.

Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones

Worst episode in the saga, it comes off as a whiny teenage melodrama.  Hayden Christensen is the main issue because his acting is just horrible, but the plot just drags on, and the action seems forced.  It's like Lucas got involved in writing the love story between Anakin and Padmé and then said, "whoops... we need a lightsaber battle.  Even the kids were disappointed.  Out of bounds off the tee, missed green, and a three putt for a triple bogey.

Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith

Much better that Episode Two, this movie actually moves along, even if it's a bit heavy handed.  It probably would have been better if I didn't know what was coming in regard to Anakin and Padmé.  A lot of the drama is stunted by the fact that we know the story-line of Episode IV going in.  Chip in for bogey.

Rogue One: A Star Wars Story

The kids didn't like this one as much, because they have no taste.  Seriously.  It's dark and moody, and you can feel the desperation of the Rebellion viscerally throughout.  I loved how they seamlessly slid the story into the narrative that already existed in Episode IV, and even got a Princess Leia lookalike for the end.  Solid birdie.

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Pedro Almodovar's Pain & Glory, birdie. Not crazy about movies about movie industry or people, but this one was very personal and touching. Been awhile since I've seen one of his movies. Always Penelope Cruz.

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Star Wars: Episode IV: A New Hope

It was neat seeing this again with the back story provided by Rogue One.  Of course, this is the one that started it all, and it's held up pretty well.  The special effects leave a little to be desired, but it is over forty years old.  Solid eight foot birdie putt in the heart of the cup.

Star Wars: Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back

This is probably my favorite of the series.  It has a grittiness to it that holds up well forty years later.  On in two and a tap in eagle.

Star Wars: Episode VI: Return of the Jedi

Definitely my least favorite of the original trilogy, this one definitely had the feel of an over-commercialized money-grab by Lucas.  My kids loved the ewoks, of course, and there is a real feel good to their underdog status as they fight the Imperial forces.  Chip on with a four footer for par.

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Star Wars: Episode VII: The Force Awakens

This entry in the saga makes very little sense from the outset.  It supposed to be a few decades after the Empire's ultimate weapon is destroyed and it's emperor and leader have both died, and yet it's as if they haven't skipped a beat.  Somehow, it has risen from the ashes as the First Order, and the rebels are still rebels.  Rey, Finn, and Poe are introduced as the new heroes, but The First Order, being the plucky outfit that they are, have developed yet another star-killer weapon, but this one is embedded in an icy planet.  Of course, it  gets destroyed by the rebels, which seemingly can't win for winning, because you know the crushing defeat will be overcome as if nothing happened.  Nothing about this movie really makes a lick of sense.  Quadruple bogey... and it took a fifteen footer hitting the flag and dropping into the cup instead of running off the green for that.

Star Wars: Episode VIII: The Last Jedi

Once again, the First Order rebounds miraculously, and had the rebels on the run.  Rey, Finn, and Poe continue to be the driving force - no pun intended - of the film.  Rey trains with an unwilling Luke Skywalker, with all of the cliche moments of the mentor/student relationship being checked off, Rey tears off across the galaxy to save it.  The action is fast and furious, and just seems to have very little purpose other than to send characters on a high-stakes wild goose chase.  Eight footer to make a triple bogey. 

Star Wars: Episode IX: The Rise of Skywalker

I'm like a teenage girl with this one; I just can't even.  Palpatine is back!  They just tell us he's back in the opening crawl.  He's been orchestrating the whole thing, even though he was killed at the end of Return of the Jedi. Oh, and Rey and Kylo Ren/Ben Solo can read each other's minds, and basically have all kinds of enhanced powers.  But wait!   There's more!  There are horses in space.  Yes!  They actually had a scene where rebel troops come charging out of space landing crafts on the outer hull of a star destroyer on space horses.



This is one of those holes where you've already doubled par, and you're still over 150 yards from the green, so you just pick up your ball and write an X on the scorecard.

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