Paige Spiranac on Cyber Bullying

[Jeremie Boop]

I think what can be done when it comes to social media is very limited. People are very anti-censorship, so the most they can typically do is provide the tools to the users themselves to block and filter out unwanted and/or inappropriate comments. I don't know how much intervention you can expect to get for the random trolls and hateful commenters from law enforcement. Now, law enforcement is already going after people who cyberbully in cases that show continuous attacks from the same person/people towards someone. I just don't know what can be done to curb the "drive by" attacks on social media outside of the tools they are providing users at this point. Perhaps people who are found to have their comments blocked constantly can be flagged for review/removal? Even then they'd have to take some sort of steps to prevent the same user from just making another account each time they get banned. Most likely the ones who are the most vicious in their posts are also those who wouldn't have a problem continually making new accounts.

[mvmac]

1 hour ago, Kalnoky said:

Good people allow bullying to happen. Over and over again, we have to take the high road for the sake of peace. This time of year especially, I'm sure many of you have to contend w/ an a*hole or two, as do I.  If you attempt to defend yourself, then you are the one who is thin-skinned, and cannot take a joke.

In this circumstance, Paige isn't dealing with a few posts like "haha you suck at golf", stuff that you would basically ignore, she's getting death and sexual threats thrown at her. She's young and social media savvy so she's not unaware that the internet can be an unkind place but if people cross the line I think it's a good thing for Paige to acknowledge it's scary, it hurts and to bring more attention to it.

[phillyk]

2 minutes ago, mvmac said:

In this circumstance, Paige isn't dealing with a few posts like "haha you suck at golf", stuff that you would basically ignore, she's getting death and sexual threats thrown at her. She's young and social media savvy so she's not unaware that the internet can be an unkind place but if people cross the line I think it's a good thing for Paige to acknowledge it's scary, it hurts and to bring more attention to it.

I agree, this isn't a simple your mama joke. When you have a thousand people telling you to kill yourself, there's a problem.

[CarlSpackler]

I know very little about Paige, but I don't how anyone can could demonstrate such a high level of love or hate for someone they have never met. This weird obsession that people get with celebrities just seems odd to me. People are people. 

[Ernest Jones]

Didn't read the whole thread, but I am now following her on social media. Hubba Hubba!!!!

[JonMA1]

1 hour ago, CarlSpackler said:

This weird obsession that people get with celebrities just seems odd to me. People are people. 

I agree. On one extreme you have those who think they are more important than a non-celebrity, or that they should somehow be role models for their children. When they make the news, everyone talks about it like it's the most important thing in the world.

On the other, Rag publications have been saying B.S. things about celebrities since before I was born. To this day, you can stand in the checkout line and still see it going on - some of it very mean. And people pay good money for that crap.

So when someone crosses the line and breaks the law, make an example of them. Arrest them, plaster their names all over the media, and prosecute them to the full extent of the law. Do that repeatedly, publicize it, and maybe it'll act as a deterrent. If nothing else, hopefully, those individuals will make a cell mate very happy at a state prison.

I'm not sure how else it can be dealt with. Can you talk sense into someone who would make a death threat to someone they've never met?

[14ledo81]

5 hours ago, iacas said:

It got plenty of coverage. And the video was too long, I think, for Instagram.

Besides, she did retweet several things. Like…

 

Stop saying the word "expect." I'm not going to go into it again but it should be plainly obvious by now that "expect" carries with it some bad connotations, and that nobody's denying anything here.

Paige: "I've received death threats and been called horrible disgusting names and…" (sobbing)
Insensitive Wiseass: "Well, you should have expected that."

Just stop. I think we're all aware of how the world works. Telling a victim of bullying they should have expected it after the fact does nothing to change what happened to them, does nothing to show sympathy or compassion, does nothing to denounce or vilify those who deserve it, etc.

So just stop with the "expected" stuff.

Pretty much all of your dialogue is based on what to do after the fact.  Don't you think some education (before hand) can help?  And should possibly be part of the discussion?

[iacas]

14 minutes ago, 14ledo81 said:

Pretty much all of your dialogue is based on what to do after the fact.  Don't you think some education (before hand) can help?  And should possibly be part of the discussion?

I don't think that's an accurate characterization. But whatever.

Education is fine, but is alone not going to make much of a dent. It's going to take efforts on multiple fronts.

[Valleygolfer]

On 12/8/2016 at 0:22 AM, iacas said:

You can call out a bully without being "nasty" back.

Cyberbullying can be against the law, too. Bullies don't all post via anonymizing services.

No, you just think that people who dress provocatively should "expect" it.

Online call outs just inflame people and increases the venom towards the person. Call outs do nothing. Banning etc maybe will stop it....it works here ;)

On 12/8/2016 at 6:40 AM, Hatchman said:

Really thoughtful comments.  

Physical bullying should never be tolerated and intervened by someone whenever possible.

Cyberbullying I have better control over.  Because: I've read so much about the Ill effects of drinking, smoking, and sex, that I've decided to give up reading.

 

Unfortunately when you are a kid and sometimes an adult, you may not have protection or believe you can be protected. Most of the abuse is hidden.

On 12/8/2016 at 0:38 PM, JonMA1 said:

Here are a few things that can be done...

• We talk to our kids starting when they are very young and reinforce throughout their childhood how wrong it is to join in with bullying.
• Stand up for the unpopular kids.
• Recognize that someone who is different or socially awkward may not have the family life you enjoy.
• If you're on the receiving end, be strong. There's more to life than being popular in the 6th grade.
• As parents, show by example in not making fun of others (this isn't as easy as it sounds and I've failed at times).

I'd bet money that @14ledo81has had a similar conversation with his children.

  Reveal hidden contents

 

Sorry, but I have to disagree Erik and @saevel25. How it was worded was a straw man argument as no one had stated that the victim in a rape is to be blamed nor that we should accept it. Sexual assault is not even in the same ball park as typing something mean on social media. Most of us have been hurt in our lifetime by someone simply being mean, and depending how old we were, it may have even left scars. But ask a rape victim how the two compare.

 

 

These are great ideas but the parents that produce bullies are doing the opposite, bullying their children, teaching them to objectify women or demeaning their child so that child goes to school and does the same thing to fellow students. Schools do a terrible job protecting kids that are bullied but they also can't control what goes on outside of school grounds. I feel like we should involve or offer police intervention and get protective orders in place to put gravity in this at a young age, hopefully to dissuade future thoughts that this is okay behavior. 

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It doesn't matter if Paige is dressed provocatively or not, there are mean, nasty or jealous people out there that will continue to harass people regardless. If this is affecting her negatively, cut out the comments on her website or hire someone to delete ALL the jerkass comments. After a while they will quit posting because they are not heard. You just can't stop jerks from being jerks. In a perfect world, you shouldn't have to change the way you do things because of a asshole but...

 

[saevel25]

1 hour ago, Valleygolfer said:

These are great ideas but the parents that produce bullies are doing the opposite, bullying their children, teaching them to objectify women or demeaning their child so that child goes to school and does the sa. 

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It doesn't matter if Paige is dressed provocatively or not, there are mean, nasty or jealous people out there that will continue to harass people regardless. If this is affecting her negatively, cut out the comments on her website or hire someone to delete ALL the jerkass comments. After a while they will quit posting because they are not heard. You just can't stop jerks from being jerks. In a perfect world, you shouldn't have to change the way you do things because of a asshole but...

 

I think bullies come from any family, not just ones with asshole parents. 

I think we can do a lot more to make bullies feel like its not worth it. I think the idea that jerks will be jerks propagated a complacent, keep the status quo on this. You are correct, there will always be bullies, but we shouldnt tolerate them. We should be proactive in standing up to them and making them knows they are not welcome. 

[Valleygolfer]

9 minutes ago, saevel25 said:

I think bullies come from any family, not just ones with asshole parents. 

I think we can do a lot more to make bullies feel like its not worth it. I think the idea that jerks will be jerks propagated a complacent, keep the status quo on this. You are correct, there will always be bullies, but we shouldnt tolerate them. We should be proactive in standing up to them and making them knows they are not welcome. 

I can appreciate your ideas however treatment of people at the adult level is hard to change. Psychology issues, need for attention or bring people down to their level etc. I was referring to the celebrity cyberbullying individuals being banned and ignored. Jerks will be jerks online as long as they can have their voice in that capacity.

Local bullies or cyber death and injury threats should be dealt with immediately.

You want to teach kids what is right and stand up for others getting picked on but they don't want to get involved or picked on either. I don't how you can teach that. Matter of fact, most adults don't want to get involved in anything like this either.

[carpediem4300]

On 09/12/2016 at 5:21 PM, iacas said:

It got plenty of coverage. And the video was too long, I think, for Instagram.

Besides, she did retweet several things. Like…

 

Stop saying the word "expect." I'm not going to go into it again but it should be plainly obvious by now that "expect" carries with it some bad connotations, and that nobody's denying anything here.

Paige: "I've received death threats and been called horrible disgusting names and…" (sobbing)
Insensitive Wiseass: "Well, you should have expected that."

Just stop. I think we're all aware of how the world works. Telling a victim of bullying they should have expected it after the fact does nothing to change what happened to them, does nothing to show sympathy or compassion, does nothing to denounce or vilify those who deserve it, etc.

So just stop with the "expected" stuff.

I'm not disagreeing with you for the sake of it, but im not changing my opinion that she or anyone else should expect it, im not burying my head in the sand on the issue like everyone else is.

Accept nothing, Expect everything.

I have full sympathy for her, ive been there, its not nice, but denying the expectation is naive beyond naive

Good on her for retweeting the things she did, that did more harm to the bullies than crying about it and showing them how badly it affected her

[iacas]

6 hours ago, carpediem4300 said:

I'm not disagreeing with you for the sake of it, but im not changing my opinion that she or anyone else should expect it, im not burying my head in the sand on the issue like everyone else is.

You don't seem to understand that nobody is disagreeing with the "expect it" bit. It's just a lousy word choice.

For the nth time, let's move on to discussing what can be done about it.

[carpediem4300]

58 minutes ago, iacas said:

You don't seem to understand that nobody is disagreeing with the "expect it" bit. It's just a lousy word choice.

For the nth time, let's move on to discussing what can be done about it.

There are tons of things that can be done about it, the one I feel that empowers victims or potential victims the most is to expect it, by expecting it we can control it, by controlling it we can win the immediate fight against the bullies. This in my opinion would be the single easiest most effective way to combat the problem in the hear and now

Along side that we can improve our education systems, improve our parenting, improve software to filter it out, improve our laws to protect victims more, and hopefully one day we get to a place where it is so hard to be a bully that it simply isnt worth trying to be one.

[Gator Hazard]

What's wrong with people?  I'll bet not one person criticizing her has done anything near as much as she has which was to play division one golf in college, successfully. And all while being smoking hot. Some people are always going to be haters. Good for her for talking about it.

As a kid I always tried to stick up for the kids bullies would pick on.  I have always despised bullies. As an adult one instance that blew my mind was on The Blue line train in Chicago. Some young man, with a few obvious signs of a disability would get on. He would always say to the person he sat next too or who sat next to him "don't get too close". He obviously had some phobias. He was probably 25. Some  adult "ladies" on the train started picking on him and teasing him. I was dumbfounded by it and that no one said shit so I started back in on them. I can't remember my retort but one woman had kept saying "whatever clever" so I said something snappy back in a rhyme and people started laughing at her. She shut up. That  guy sat next to me every time there was an empty seat on the train. And every time he would say the same thing to me "don't get too close". Lol.

Not stating this looking for any type of praise or to pat myself on the back. It's just about me wishing more people would do something as opposed to just watching people be bullied. A whole train car full of adults let it happen. I don't expect everyone to stand up against bullies but if you have the means it has its rewards. Shaming bullies is fun. 

[phan52]

I wouldn't know how it could work, but maybe social media needs to have an application where an individual can automatically block anybody who is anonymous. I wonder how many of those idiots stalking her would do it if they couldn't be anonymous. Just a thought.

[14ledo81]

43 minutes ago, phan52 said:

I wouldn't know how it could work, but maybe social media needs to have an application where an individual can automatically block anybody who is anonymous. I wonder how many of those idiots stalking her would do it if they couldn't be anonymous. Just a thought.

I think some still would.  They would just make up a fake account.

[Rainmaker]

Yeah -  it's surprising what people will say on social media.  It's too bad because I love mocking people.  I love it dearly.  But if somebody is going to go straight for the death threats and get all disgusting and sexual. .that really takes the fun out of it.  

What can be done about it?  I honestly think nothing . . the internet makes it easy for any person to give commentary on just about anything .. and this is what they have to say.  I guess the only thing that can really fix it is a shift in social conscience . .because, really, people *should* be ashamed of themselves for making comments like that .. but they're not.