Has COVID-19 Affected Your Golf?

[David in FL]

The governor down here just implemented a state-wide stay at home order. Fortunately, golf courses remain on the list of allowable, essential activities, and will stay open, with continued social distancing and touch point guidelines in place!

[CarlSpackler]

21 minutes ago, David in FL said:

The governor down here just implemented a state-wide stay at home order. Fortunately, golf courses remain on the list of allowable, essential activities, and will stay open, with continued social distancing and touch point guidelines in place!

I hear that they're stopping people coming in to see where they are going.

[Club Rat]

March Madness is canceled, the NBA is shut down, the Masters is postponed, and my Aunt Marge’s senior bowling has even thrown in the towel. Now restaurants and bars are closed, and our 40-handicap governor is threatening to shut down all entertainment facilities including golf courses. I have not tested positive, but the coronavirus is killing me.

There is nowhere to go and nothing to do. My wife suggested we take a walk, but I don’t walk anywhere unless I have a golf club in my hand and it’s cart path only. My kids have a restraining order on us and won’t let us come within 200 yards of the grandchildren. And we can no longer eat out, but when we tried to cook at home, there were cobwebs in the oven.

The network channels are inundated with coverage of the virus. The golf channel has been showing reruns of old tournaments, which are almost as riveting as watching my brother-in-law’s video of his family camping trip to Yellowstone. And my wife is so desperate for something to do, she is even considering sex, and maybe even with me.

Paranoia is off the tracks. Before the shutdown, we were having dinner at a local bar. I let out a loud sneeze and everyone at the surrounding tables started yelling "check please." My stock portfolio is plummeting and most of our cash is currently invested in toilet paper. I am washing my hands 137 times a day. I don’t touch anyone. I don’t even touch myself. I have been using tongs to go to the bathroom. This has to stop.

Our society and economy have been crippled by a microscopic virus. Scientists have not yet determined the exact origin but have narrowed it down to a Chinese fish market or Rosie O’Donnell’s bathtub. And no one is sure how to prevent or cure it. In the past, the ways to prevent contracting a contagious disease were simple: don’t eat in restaurants with a cat on the menu and don’t date my college roommate’s sister.

I don’t consider myself to be in the high-risk category. I have been building up my immune system by eating one meal per day at MacDonald’s for the last 25 years. Germs just slide through me. My only pre-existing condition is an inability to launch a golf ball further than 180 yards. And, according to the CDC, symptoms of the corona-virus are sweats, dizziness, and trouble breathing, which I experience whenever I am standing over a 3-foot putt. I can handle it.

So, I proposed to my regular foursome the idea of escaping from our self-imposed Stalag 17 and venturing outside for a round of golf. Everyone recognized the danger and severity of the situation. But when faced with the decision to remain sequestered with our wives or to risk contracting a deadly virus, it was a no-brainer. Every man opted to play golf.

Our foursome does not pose a medical risk to mankind. My friend, George is virus-free. Social distancing has not been a problem for him. Other than us, he doesn’t have any friends. Bob, my neighbor is a urologist who has been working from home for several weeks. He has developed a way to do remote prostate exams by having patients sit on their cell phones. And our other partner, Jerry tested himself with a kit he bought online. However, he thinks he may have gotten the wrong kit. It showed no traces of the virus but indicated that he was pregnant with twins.

The federal government has established guidelines for social engagement. For example, you must stay at least 6 feet apart and no more than 10 people are allowed at a gathering, which means Patrick Reed’s fan club can still meet. In addition, our foursome drafted our own specific set of rules for Pandemic Golf.

Rules of Play:

·         • Hazmat suits are permitted. As an alternative, one can wear a college mascot costume or big bunny pajamas.

·         • Masks are not permitted, because we would look more like stagecoach robbers than a foursome.

·         • Leave the flag in. And to avoid retrieving balls from the hole, any putt shorter than Lebron James is good.

·         • Ride in separate golf carts and don’t come closer to another player than a fully extended ball retriever.

·         • Don’t touch another player’s balls. This is always good advice.

·         • No high fives. Fortunately, we seldom have a reason.

·         • No petting the geese or the cart girl.

·         • Don’t use the spot-a-pot. More disease in there than in all of Wuhan China.

·         • No excuses. Slicing or hooking are not side effects of the corona-virus.

·         • Make an online bank transfer to pay off your bets for the day.

·         • Straddle the sprinkler on the 18th hole before getting into the car.

These rules and restrictions adequately protected us from contamination. Unfortunately, there is no vaccine for bad golf. I had trouble gripping the club with oven mittens, but it was an enjoyable afternoon which ended way too soon. There were no handshakes on the 18th green, no beers at the bar, and we drove home separately.

As the pandemic plays through, it is giving us a glimpse into our inevitable future where all meals are delivered, all entertainment comes through the tv screen, and all human interaction is through our cell phone. Where schooling is online at home, exercise is on a stationary bike in our basement, medical testing is done at drive-thru windows, and colonoscopies are performed at Jiffy Lube. The world is changing. It is becoming less interpersonal as technology consumes us. So now that we have time on our hands, everyone should take a moment to cherish this fading era, when friends still get together to hit a little ball around an open field for no good reason other than to enjoy the companionship of their fellow man.

[Buckeyebowman]

On 3/30/2020 at 9:38 PM, Double Mocha Man said:

Good PR is not found in charging more for a single cart in these times.  As far as the regular season greens fee rate, I understand that.

I don't! You can lose a ball in the middle of a fairway at this time of year. Heck, it was March when they sent this e-mail! Most courses don't charge regular season rates until Memorial Day! I can't stand profiteers. 

On 3/31/2020 at 3:43 PM, Double Mocha Man said:

My state said flat out "No".  Not that they're opposed to fresh air activity, with social distancing, but that the employees of a golf course did not fit the "essential worker" dictum.

Well, there you have some stupid politicians who have probably never run a business in their lives. Golf course employees are pretty "essential" to the golf course now aren't they? What are they supposed to do? Grow a hay field out there?

1 hour ago, David in FL said:

The governor down here just implemented a state-wide stay at home order. Fortunately, golf courses remain on the list of allowable, essential activities, and will stay open, with continued social distancing and touch point guidelines in place!

Yeah, we've had that for 2 weeks. We can still go out for groceries or carry out food, etc. Also, some golf courses are open, with precautions. 

[Double Mocha Man]

10 minutes ago, Buckeyebowman said:

Well, there you have some stupid politicians who have probably never run a business in their lives. Golf course employees are pretty "essential" to the golf course now aren't they? What are they supposed to do? Grow a hay field out there?

Our stupid politicians had the foresight and intelligence to say that golf courses could still be maintained.  And greens fees here in Washington State generally go up in March. I'm still okay with that... nothing better than being on a golf course on a warmish, sunny day. 

Edited April 2, 2020 by Double Mocha Man

[Yukari]

9 hours ago, CarlSpackler said:

What the hell?!!!

That is hilarious!!!

So far, I am unable to get back to CO as flights have been cancelled.  I have a flight scheduled for this Friday.  Hopefully, it does not get cancelled.

I am looking forward to riding my Ninja out on my own.  

[bwdial]

Our governor is signing a shelter-in-place order, but he is an incoherent, bumbling idiot, so no one is clear on what it actually means.  The closest golf course to me, Sugar Hill Golf Club, announced that they were opening back up this week, and another course I play in the area is open, and has been, but I think this means they will all be closed until April 13th.

[CarlSpackler]

5 hours ago, Yukari said:

That is hilarious!!!

So far, I am unable to get back to CO as flights have been cancelled.  I have a flight scheduled for this Friday.  Hopefully, it does not get cancelled.

I am looking forward to riding my Ninja out on my own.  

I hope you get home soon and safe. I know your bike misses you. My Harley did all winter long. 
 

[jetsknicks1]

12 hours ago, David in FL said:

The governor down here just implemented a state-wide stay at home order. Fortunately, golf courses remain on the list of allowable, essential activities, and will stay open, with continued social distancing and touch point guidelines in place!

So glad they’re keeping the courses open, I would absolutely lose my friggin mind if I had to stay in the house every single day. I mean, I can only rake the yard so many times lol. Played Arlington Ridge yesterday and fortunately, I have an awesome wife who told me I HAVE to play at least once a week because she knows there’s no way I can just sit around the house forever.

[bwdial]

I was scheduled to play this Friday, but when my wife found out that a friend's husband who recently passed away, did so due to COVID-19, she kind of freaked out about it, and I cancelled.  He was 46 years old, extremely active, and in really good health.  Regardless, they will probably be closed tomorrow anyway.

[mcanadiens]

We better be ok to play for the next three days because I just prepaid for a Sunday morning round.

It's been so long that I'm delusional about how I'll play. 

[Yukari]

9 hours ago, CarlSpackler said:

I hope you get home soon and safe. I know your bike misses you. My Harley did all winter long. 
 

Nice bike!  That's gotta cost a pretty penny.  I always loved Harleys - very distinctive sound.  You know it's a Harley without even having to look at it.

Interesting note.  They tried to trademark their sound but got turned down.  I think they described it as saying "potatoes" fast.

As for golf, I am hoping to play when I get back to CO.  I got emails from some of the courses saying they are open with walking only.

2 hours ago, mcanadiens said:

We better be ok to play for the next three days because I just prepaid for a Sunday morning round.

It's been so long that I'm delusional about how I'll play. 

I often play a lot better after a little layoff.  Only the long game, though.  The short game suffers a lot.  So overall, scores worse but the long game is a lot better.  I think I get rid of some bad habits for the long game during a layoff and it slows creeps back in as I play regularly.

[CarlSpackler]

4 hours ago, mcanadiens said:

We better be ok to play for the next three days because I just prepaid for a Sunday morning round.

It's been so long that I'm delusional about how I'll play. 

I just played Homestead. Conditions weren’t great, but it was good to be out. Gov. DeWine extended the stay at home order until 5/1. I wouldn’t be surprised if they close golf courses again. 

1 hour ago, Yukari said:

Nice bike!  That's gotta cost a pretty penny.  I always loved Harleys - very distinctive sound.  You know it's a Harley without even having to look at it.

Yep. One more year or so and she’s all mine!

[Buckeyebowman]

On 4/1/2020 at 8:42 PM, Double Mocha Man said:

Our stupid politicians had the foresight and intelligence to say that golf courses could still be maintained.  And greens fees here in Washington State generally go up in March. I'm still okay with that... nothing better than being on a golf course on a warmish, sunny day. 

I really don't care when fees go up in Washington state! I'm not IN Washington state. I'm in NE Ohio.  I only care about when they go up here, and this is way early! March, generally most of April, and the first half of May can be considered "mud ball" time!  And the extra charge for a solo cart? Sorry! This strikes me as profiteering! 

[dennyjones]

1 hour ago, Buckeyebowman said:

I really don't care when fees go up in Washington state! I'm not IN Washington state. I'm in NE Ohio.  I only care about when they go up here, and this is way early! March, generally most of April, and the first half of May can be considered "mud ball" time!  And the extra charge for a solo cart? Sorry! This strikes me as profiteering! 

Try Golfnow or some other online retailer...Teeoff.com

[Double Mocha Man]

2 hours ago, Buckeyebowman said:

I really don't care when fees go up in Washington state! I'm not IN Washington state. I'm in NE Ohio.  I only care about when they go up here, and this is way early! March, generally most of April, and the first half of May can be considered "mud ball" time!  And the extra charge for a solo cart? Sorry! This strikes me as profiteering! 

Be thankful you can still play golf where you live. I would pay double just to get back on the course again.

[NZ Golfer]

The worst aspect of the shutdown is the lack of understanding by are Govt. around how a Golf Course is created and kept in playable order and how simple it could be done even under the strict COVID regs..... even if it was just greens at the min.

And esp. as we have parks still being maintained sometimes right next door t0o many of our courses.

Going see many $$$ wasted which going by how our Govt is going isn't a concern...but will put many Golf Courses into the red esp Club courses

Edited April 3, 2020 by NZ Golfer

[Lugowskins]

It's incredibly painful to have spent the last few months taking thousands of swings, working every single day videoing and working on my swing, spent hours on the range and on the simulator working on my yardages, got a membership at a course my friends dad just bought, joined their Wednesday night league and when spring finally arrives the weather is beautiful and it's fairly dry theeeeeeeeeeeeeeennnn the government tells me I can't golf. Still have to go work 40+ hours a week I can see people out at parks every day but don't you dare step foot on a golf course.