Unsolicited Shot/Swing Advice

[SteveH]

I play with better golfers whenever I can. I have had a couple of them ask me if they can point something out to me and I usually welcome their comments. A lot of times I find I will get my alignment off and not realize it but someone behind me may spot it easily. I don't mind comments at all, as I can choose to ignore or heed them. 

[Swooshgolf]

I never offer advice when playing. I only like advice when it's from a better player and that's only if it's minimal.

[gbogey]

The general rule is no but there have been occasions when I have.  In these situations:

1. I'm really sure what I'm talking about - something I have struggled with myself.  Most of the time it has to do with the short game as I'm stronger and more sure of myself.
2. The person seems open / wanting advice - generally newer players
3. I've waited until the round was almost over and said, don't do this today but next time you are on the range you might want to try this.

[bones75]

I made a poor joke once to a random guy i was paired with and since then i learned my lesson in ever going there. Was making a joke, but he misheard me and thought i was giving him a tip, and he immediately snapped back "I think Im a better golfer than you" (which wasnt true btw, at least on that day).

Anywho, back to my original situ. The guy even remarked after his drive on the 1st tees went right, "Pushed that one..".  And i was thinking to myself "i dont think uou did, thats exactly where you were lined up..."

Ill prob stay the course and keep my trap shut, but still think i coulda helped that guy.

[NJpatbee]

I will never offer unsolicited advice, especially as a 16 HCP that is lucky to play 25 rounds/season. That being said I have asked regular partners more than once to see if they can notice something in my swing causing whatever issue I am having.   As for strangers. including golf course rangers and maintenance staff,  I do not ask for or want their advice.   

[ChetlovesMer]

This is a great topic. 
No grey area here. DON'T DO IT!

On a driving range its annoying. Don't do it. 
If you are giving advice on the course mid-round there should be a rule allowing somebody to beat you with your gap-wedge. 

Unsolicited, by definition, means the person didn't ask for it. 

What unsolicited advice does NOT mean is trash talking with your buddies. That's something different, and should be considered on a case by case basis.  

I truly believe females get it worse than males. My wife tells me about this all the time. If she hits one bad shot every dude with a 36 handicap all of a sudden becomes a golf pro. They all have all kinds of advice for her. Drives her mad. I give her credit though. She usually just calmly explains to them that their advice is in direct contradiction to what her and her swing instructor are working on. 

The worst example I've ever seen of unsolicited advice was actually during the last round I played this past year. I was paired up with 3 other guys. Each of us would have been a single so the course put us together. Anyway, this one guy was fading every other shot and slicing the one's he didn't fade. Okay, so 5 or 6 holes in, one of the other guys (about a 28 handicap) decides its time for him to help this guy out. He spends the rest of the round trying to get the guy to "strengthen his grip". I said nothing. To make matters worse the guy giving the advice had the worst grip I've ever seen. His right hand was torqued so far under the club his fist was almost point back up at his own face. "See by strengthening my grip like this it prevents me from slicing." He explained. Again, I said nothing. 

Unless your advice is "Hey, I know a great teaching pro, he/she's helped me a lot." And you say that after the round. Other than that NO UNSOLICITED ADVICE …. EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Edited January 23, 2019 by ChetlovesMer

[Piz]

Unsolicited advice doesn't bother me...but I don't tell other people how to play.  

[iacas]

11 minutes ago, ChetlovesMer said:

No grey area here. DON'T DO IT!

There are grey areas.

If you're playing a course for the first time, and there's a tricky shot, a guy telling you "hey, there's a pond you can't see at 230 and it goes to about 250, so if you can't carry it 260, you should probably lay up."

You wouldn't want someone telling you that?

[ChetlovesMer]

1 minute ago, iacas said:

There are grey areas.

If you're playing a course for the first time, and there's a tricky shot, a guy telling you "hey, there's a pond you can't see at 230 and it goes to about 250, so if you can't carry it 260, you should probably lay up."

You wouldn't want someone telling you that?

Okay you caught me making an assumption. My assumption was that the shot/swing advice was about "how to" hit a shot or "how to" swing, not course layout or something of that nature. To tell you the truth when I read the topic I only thought of people giving "how to" advice. The example you use above never crossed my mind. The example you mention above wouldn't bother me, I'd be happy for that advice. I was thinking more along the lines of "strengthen your grip" "keep your head down" "open your hips" … etc... 

It's a bit of a hot button for me. 

[gbogey]

A buddy called me out one day.  We were playing a course I knew well but he didn't.  The third time he did what I told him not to do he said, "you keep telling what not to do - tell me what to do!  Say "keep it right" instead of "don't hit it left.""  Good observation and advice that I have tried to follow since then.

[inthehole]

First thing - never ever even consider offering to give advice unless you are a dramatically better player than the person you're interacting with.

You have to gauge the person ... if he's a hot head struggling like hell and getting all bent out of shape - I've learned to not give advice, no matter how much I want to.   How I learned  this was I was paired with a young guy several years ago that was swinging out of his shoes and spraying the ball 100 yards deep into the woods on the right every time, and I was ham and egging my easy tempo controlled swing right down the pipe (I think that annoyed him) ... it was getting towards the end of the round & I couldn't take it anymore ... I said I've put alot of time into developing a stack & tilt swing and it really works for me & it might help you ... he proceeded to say - yeah, I noticed that, and my buddy a college golfer tole me I should stay as far away from that as I can (again, after I was PIPING drives down the center of the fairway all day and he lost probably 15 balls in the woods to that point - it was bad) ...  well, that was my aha moment - I am extremely careful to judge the personality type before offering advice now.

If it's a likable, easy going person that I think might benefit from no more than one simple tip, I'll start the conversation off something like ... "would you mind if I gave you one tip that I think could really help you" - then you at least give them the opportunity to say no (once a guy told me "my coach has me working on _____, so I'd rather not confuse what I'm working on" .... perfect, I at least gave him the opportunity to tell me no and we're all good - but more commonly, that personality type embraces any feedback they can get from a better player to help them out - I know I did when I was green and struggling.

If the person has a personality type somewhere in between these two and I'm not sure ... always better to keep your mouth shut

[Vinsk]

I never mind any unsolicited advice. I’ve learned enough here to know if the advice is worth a damn. Of course it all depends on the person I’m sure. If I didn’t ‘know’ @iacas and was paired with him...obviously seeing he’s a superior golfer I might be thinking, ‘I wonder if he’ll get annoyed if I ask a little advice’ and he might wonder if I’d mind if he offered some. But I can tell you this...if I’m asked what I do and I tell them I’m a physician ....nobody seems to have any problem asking me medical crap the entire round....lol.

[DrMJG]

I have a few close buddies who I see on an almost daily basis at the range. A few have made suggestions as have I. But one has to be careful to not imply anything beyond a friendly observation.

I always accept suggestions from my son and coach.  If someone makes an unsolicited suggestion to me, I'll politely say I will bring it up with my coach.

 

Edited January 24, 2019 by DrMJG

[Buckeyebowman]

3 hours ago, gbogey said:

A buddy called me out one day.  We were playing a course I knew well but he didn't.  The third time he did what I told him not to do he said, "you keep telling what not to do - tell me what to do!  Say "keep it right" instead of "don't hit it left.""  Good observation and advice that I have tried to follow since then.

Bingo! We have a winner! That's exactly what my Uncle told me many moons ago. "Don't think about the trouble, think about your target!" I find this strategy "settles" in my mind a lot better than thinking about where not to hit it! 

Also, like @ChetlovesMer, I thought this was about offering swing advice. A long time ago I, my buddy, his Son, and his Son's buddy were out playing. His kid's swing was so bad! As others have said, I do not offer unsolicited advice, so I kept my mouth shut. After the round we're having refreshments in the clubhouse and the kid is talking about giving up the game! Believe me, if I played as badly as he did, I might have had the same thought. 

OK, this is an emergency, so I asked him if I could offer him some advice about what I saw him doing out there. He said, "I wish you would." I've seen "shut blade" players before, but his swing was bizarro world! At waist high in the backswing, his clubface was looking straight down at the ground. He hit nothing but smothers and pull hooks all day. It was painful to watch!

I demonstrated opening the clubface in the backswing, and closing it at impact and into the through swing. I recommended he practice waist high waist high practice swings in the back yard with no ball. Then gradually lengthen those practice swing into full swings, again with no ball. Then go hit some balls and see how things work out, since timing the closing of the clubface will determine the ball flight. 

The next we played, he played great! After one particularly fine tee shot, he gave me a great big bear hug and said, "I love you man! You saved my golf game!"  I have to admit, it made me feel pretty good!

[The Recreational Golfer]

Sometimes you have to do it.

One of my friends just started playing golf and his ball was in a bunker. He kept hitting at the ball, stopping the club in the sand. After three failures, I said, "You have to follow through," and on the next swing he followed through and got the ball out.

But I remember very clearly a time when I was playing in a group of three men and I was about 13. One of them took me under his wing and made me feel comfortable. The other two guys would give me their advice, which I ignored because they weren't much better than I was. So on the eighth hole, I remember the exact spot, he said, "Bob, I need to tell you something. Never give unsolicited advice." I have never forgotten him or his advice, while unsolicited itself, that was a great life lesson.

[p1n9183]

The other day at my home course i played with a friend and an old man that nobody in the club likes to play with.
The old man wasn´t playing really well and on a certain hole he hit an approach to the green with an hybrid. The ball started to the left green side bunker but cuttin rigth with a fair chance of going back to the green. my friend said: "Turn, turn.. come on ball, turn back to the green". But the ball landed between the green and the bunker and rolled back to the bunker. The old men looked at my friend really pissed off an said to him: "DO NOT TALK TO MY BALL AGAIN, OK?"

I doesn´t matter your good intentions, some guys can take it the wrong way so in case of doubt you´d better keep it to yourself.

 

[Lihu]

20 hours ago, bones75 said:

Is unsolicited shot/swing advice always a no-no? I often see folks offer advice to people who are clearly beginners, particularly if they are young. But aside from that, is it always bad manners?

Played with a guy today who was shooting ~100.  Looked like he played at least semi frequently (a weekend warrior perhaps). He was clearly lining up way right, and was hitting way right all day.  I dont think he was adjusting for a hook (or at least i didnt see a single hook/draw all day).   If anything i saw him slice a few.  I didnt say anything, but wanted to.

I started answering your poll where I thought “rarely”. That’s partly because I don’t mind people making comments, and partly because some people need it. Alas, I didn’t want to be the lone vote 🤪

Someone aiming right and hitting right for a righty is clearly pushing the shots. That seems more fixable than a dead pull? Maybe he was fighting a hook?

[chilepepper]

If it’s a good friend or relative.....I might mention something, even if it’s just to get into their head.

everyone else is a big NO!