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Dumb and embarrassing things I do playing golf


rcwkent
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I'll admit to falling into a water hazard before. I was trying to play a ball I shouldn't have and just lost my balance. 

It was super playing the remaining 11 holes drenched. 

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On September 17, 2016 at 5:10 PM, kpaulhus said:

the most embarrassing thing I have done recently was put my weight on my putter while putting my ball down on my marker. The green was a bit damp and the putter slid out from under me and I face planted onto the green.

Oh i do that shit all the time. Especially if there is dew on the greens. Down i go..

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I play golf is probably most fitting :-D.

I did the flying golf bag a few times - more careful about that now. Same with leaving clubs behind. There's so much to keep track of when you are new to the game. Duffed chips, check. Topped shots, check. Going right under the ball in rough, check.

Didn't know the layout of a hole and ended up playing the approach 40 yards left where I thought the elevated green was.

Kevin

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I can name more. I'm probably the only pathetic one in the world that has done this:

1. Senior year I was 1/2 best player on team. I told my coach to put me in the 5/6 spot because I have extreme nerves

2. Used to get tremors when putting. Sometimes I couldn't even take the putter back

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Whiffing the ball on the first tee comes to mind. Thankfully I haven't done that in a long time. But I have done it at least twice when I was shooting in the high 90's. 

One time I leaned over to grab my ball out of the cup in the earlier days of my golfing (not that long ago...) and because I was learning the etiquette and terrified of damaging the hole (stepping on the hole) I leaned over quite a bit and lost my balance but didn't want to damage the hole so I barrel-rolled past the hole hahaha. Good times. 

I can't imagine carrying the flagstick off. Y'all are crazy lol. I mean, it's long, heavy, and bright yellow (most of the time)! Cracks me up!

 

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Probably the tee shot that hits a tree and ricochets straight back for a net gain of 20 yards. This on a beautiful day where the patio in front of the clubhouse is full of men drinking beer and smoking cigars. The best part is everyone stares but not one person acknowledges you. It is the adult equivalent of peeing your pants.  

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I have done this a couple of times when partnered up with ladies in our league:

After teeing off from the men's tees, I mindlessly took off towards my ball in the  fairway before the ladies teed off. One of them laughed it off and tactfully reminded me to wait for her to tee off (she was nice about it), and of course I was embarrassed. But it happened again a few weeks ago with another lady (different person, different round) who was not overly amused.   

I apologized profusely both times for being so unmindful but sometimes when I drift away in my thoughts I can get a bit detached. Work in progress..  

Vishal S.

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I sliced a drive onto a persons roof while the owner was sitting on their patio.  I heard to hit something but wasn't sure what but found my ball about 5 feet from the end of their patio.  It was just in bounds so I had to hit it from that spot while they the woman told me I might want to consider a different sport.  

Joe Paradiso

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On September 18, 2016 at 0:14 AM, stealthhwk said:

I rarely play golf with women. On every occassion, Ive driven past the ladies tees at least once during the round. Its soooo humiliating!! I feel so awful every time it happens. Only good news is last time this occurred, I only did it once.

I don't think you're supposed to use the "dick out" rule when in mixed company. 

Yours in earnest, Jason.
Call me Ernest, or EJ or Ernie.

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The most embarrassing thing I do on the course is pretend I actually know how to play golf. 

Once, while playing a course for the first time, alone, I holed out on the wrong green. A quick glance at the course map (or even the sign next to the ball wash) and I would have known it was a 90°to the right par 4 (like a 200x150). Instead I saw a green about 400 out and just went right for it. After I holed out and picked up my ball I'm heading for my cart thinking "where's the cart path?", then I look up and see I'm on a par 5... at this point I'm confused as all heck and then it hits me... "DUH!" Too bad I only had myself to laugh at myself as I was playing alone and the course was dead cause I teed off at like 630am. The starter and I had a laugh about it on the turn though. I didn't feel so bad once he told me how many others have made that same mistake on that hole.

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23 hours ago, Ernest Jones said:

I don't think you're supposed to use the "dick out" rule when in mixed company. 

What?! I've had it wrong all these years? Now I'm embarrassed.

Jon

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In our big match play invitational last year, I got paired in the first round of the Championship Flight against a +3.5 handicap guy who is a former D1 and mini-tour golf pro who had recently regained his amateur status.  Through the first six holes, he went birdie / par / par / par / par / eagle with every shot being right on the money.  I was either two or thee over, but was 5 down as we got to 7 tee.  The 7th tee is a big congregating area.  Several tees and greens meet at this area, and they have an outdoor bar / snack bar, and we had a bit of a gallery following us, so lots of people watching.  It's a 230 yard par 3, and my opponent finally hit a shot that wasn't quite on the money, pulling it into the left greenside bunker.  I think to myself "this is my chance to finally get one back - just hit it on the green and make a par".  I took out my 5 wood, swung, took a huge chunk of grass and dirt, barely hitting the ball and popping it 100 feet straight up in the air landing on the teebox 20 feet in front of me.  Eighty people had to have seen that glorious shot.  Even though I played well on the back nine and made a match out of it, I was still the brunt of a lot of jokes all weekend over that shot.

John

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My regular group always keeps track of putts, sometimes putting money on the stat when we're in the mood.  Two years ago I wound up left of the green on a par-3, chipped to gimme range (which they gave me), and scooped it up proudly claiming a "3-0."  Even when they balked and asked again, I doubled-down claiming "3-0" as if they were accusing me of shaving strokes...until my dumb ass realized the gimme counts as a putt.

Rarely a round goes by today where I don't get roasted for that one!

- Bill

 

 

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This is a great thread - keep it up, guys!

Most of my embarrassing goofs are ones already mentioned (bag falling off, etc.).  A few years ago, I got into the wrong cart after our tee shots and drove away.  Placed my driver into the wrong (similar) bag and all.  

Best I have is my son's.  He was 15 or so at the time, at the range of what is now our home club - but he was visiting as a guest back then.  It's a very nice CC, with the clubhouse just behind the (small) range tee area; there are two dining rooms with large glass windows overlooking the range, usually with plenty of patrons inside.  He hit one hard, but thin, and it caught an angled little "mats only, today" metal sign (similar to those a-frame tee markers) about 15 yards in front of him, then careened in a high, slow arc back over his head at the clubhouse as he watched in agony, bouncing (thankfully) off the huge glass dining room windows.  I bet that was a first.  To this day he fusses how the deflection should've been theoretically impossible.  If it'd been me, I probably would've slinked away in a deep-purple hue and never gone back.  :8)

My old home club was very old/historic, and had a few holes that were tight with old, tall pines hanging over in front of the tees creating 'chutes' for the member & back tees.  A couple of years ago, I pushed, and slightly sky-ed, a driver into the top half of one of the overhanging limbs, sending the ball in the longest, highest, back-spinning arc I've ever seen - back above our heads, landing a few feet behind us and left - on the cart path - where it bounced again into the stratoshpere (further back) into a treeline 30 yards behind and left of the tee box (but playable!).  A -30y hurts the driving distance average, no? ;-)  I actually wasn't embarrassed - it was so slow and high-arcing that it was pure comedy for all.  And I came away with bogey, haha!

BamaWade

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dumb and embarrassing things I do or have done?

I don't do them in general.

The funnies thing I've seen is the following.  One day my ex father-in-law (player "A"), my ex-brother-in-law (player "B"), his uncle (player "C") and I were playing at Olympic club in S.F.  One of of the holes, A's golf ball is sitting just in front of C's golf ball.  As I was further away then both of them, I asked them to mark their positions.  As C goes to mark his position and bends down, A standing in front of him lets out the loudest fart I've heard on a golf course right on C's face.  Everyone just about died laughing. 

Don

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On 9/17/2016 at 9:14 PM, stealthhwk said:

I rarely play golf with women. On every occassion, Ive driven past the ladies tees at least once during the round. Its soooo humiliating!! I feel so awful every time it happens. Only good news is last time this occurred, I only did it once.

Haha, I've done that while walking.  The thing that made it embarrassing for me is I did it 2 or 3 times in the same round before I finally started catching myself.

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Definition of insanity...doing the same thing each time and expecting a different outcome

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"James"

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Note: This thread is 2731 days old. We appreciate that you found this thread instead of starting a new one, but if you plan to post here please make sure it's still relevant. If not, please start a new topic. Thank you!

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