Corrupt a Wish Thread

[Missouri Swede]

21 minutes ago, iacas said:

I wish for a happy new year for all!

Wish granted. But "all" no longer includes some talented people who didn't last through the old year.

I wish I could appreciate visual arts better.

[boogielicious]

On 12/31/2016 at 9:07 PM, Missouri Swede said:

Wish granted. But "all" no longer includes some talented people who didn't last through the old year.

I wish I could appreciate visual arts better.

Wish granted, but that is all you think about now, day and night.

I wish I could see two minutes into the future!

[CarlSpackler]

1 hour ago, boogielicious said:

Wish granted, but that is all you think about now, day and night.

I wish I could see two minutes into the future!

Wish granted but you become invisible to everyone. 

I know I've wished this before, but I REALLY wish my daughter did't have to go back to Ohio tomorrow. 

[iacas]

1 hour ago, CarlSpackler said:

Wish granted but you become invisible to everyone.

Brief aside… responses like that don't make too much sense. This one can kinda make sense, so I'm gonna pick on Shane a little because I think he'll know I'm not picking on him, but really am just using it as a jumping off point to talk about two kinds of "bad" examples:

Given the wish: "I wish I could eat all the ice cream I wanted with no bad effects."
A bad answer is: "Wish granted, but then a dinosaur eats you and you die" makes no sense at all.

Here's another bad example: "I wish someone gave me $100M."
"Wish granted, but you blow it all on gambling and are poor within a day."

That's poor because I have free will, and wouldn't blow it all on gambling. A proper "corruption" of the second wish might be to say "Wish granted, but it's Monopoly money." or "Wish granted, but the check bounces and you have to pay a $35 service fee."

So in short, to corrupt a wish, you can't:

• Rob the wisher of free will.
• Say something that's basically unrelated, like, "but then a piano falls on your head."

Maybe a proper corruption of the seeing into the future one is "Wish granted, but then you see yourself seeing into the future, so you see two minutes into that future, and eventually, the time travel paradox breaks down and the universe collapses into a black hole." Or more simply "Wish granted, but you can't turn it off, and never again are able to live in the present."

1 hour ago, CarlSpackler said:

I know I've wished this before, but I REALLY wish my daughter did't have to go back to Ohio tomorrow. 

Wish granted, but instead of leaving tomorrow, she leaves immediately.

(See, that's not robbing the wisher of free will. ) I'll give you all an easy one.

I wish that fast food was the healthiest food.

[CarlSpackler]

Stop picking on me @iacas  

Wish granted, but fast food naturally becomes extremely expensive and McDonalds changes its name to Sha-Mac. (Why the heck does a salad cost $10 anyway?)

I wish my dog would stop pooping in the yard. (How's that for an easy one). 

[boogielicious]

15 minutes ago, CarlSpackler said:

Stop picking on me @iacas  

Wish granted, but fast food naturally becomes extremely expensive and McDonalds changes its name to Sha-Mac. (Why the heck does a salad cost $10 anyway?)

I wish my dog would stop pooping in the yard. (How's that for an easy one). 

Wish granted but he poops in your house instead.

I wish Shane's dog would stop pooping in his house!

[Club Rat]

7 minutes ago, boogielicious said:

I wish Shane's dog would stop pooping in his house!

Wish granted, but you stepped on old do-do from before the wish was granted and track it all over he carpet.

I wish to play one round of golf with the top ten worlds best players in 2017 at their home courses.

 

[Hardspoon]

1 minute ago, Club Rat said:

Wish granted, but you stepped on old do-do from before the wish was granted and track it all over he carpet.

I wish to play one round of golf with the top ten worlds best players in 2017 at their home courses.

Wish granted, but it's a round of golf with the world's best billiards players (since you didn't specify)!

I wish I would finally bowl a 300 game.

[iacas]

9 minutes ago, Hardspoon said:

I wish I would finally bowl a 300 game.

You do, but then you go online to brag about it and you realize how easy that is to do on the Wii that you never pick up the controllers again.

I wish that my neck would stop hurting from that asshat who basically checked me from behind during a recreational soccer league last June. Drives me ****ing nuts.

[GolfLug]

47 minutes ago, iacas said:

You do, but then you go online to brag about it and you realize how easy that is to do on the Wii that you never pick up the controllers again.

I wish that my neck would stop hurting from that asshat who basically checked me from behind during a recreational soccer league last June. Drives me ****ing nuts.

Granted but then you find out that your nuts hurt too from the check. Priorities change when you take care of them..

I wish my son becomes a PGA tour star winning the money title every year from 2025 and puts me on a permanent 20% payroll just for introducing him the game.

[billchao]

On 1/2/2017 at 1:29 PM, GolfLug said:

Granted but then you find out that your nuts hurt too from the check. Priorities change when you take care of them..

I wish my son becomes a PGA tour star winning the money title every year from 2025 and puts me on a permanent 20% payroll just for introducing him the game.

Wish granted, but in the year 2022 the PGA Tour will be hit with a huge scandal that causes all major advertisers to pull out, rendering it to mini-tour status. Some of your son's winnings don't get paid and he's not good enough to make it on a more reputable tour. Your son pays you 20% but needs you to help with his travel expenses.

I wish people would stop thinking rhino horn cures cancer or whatever other magical properties they think it has.

[phillyk]

22 minutes ago, billchao said:

Wish granted, but in the year 2022 the PGA Tour will be hit with a huge scandal that causes all major advertisers to pull out, rendering it to mini-tour status. Some of your son's winnings don't get paid and he's not good enough to make it on a more reputable tour. Your son pays you 20% but needs you to help with his travel expenses.

I wish people would stop thinking rhino horn cures cancer or whatever other magical properties they think it has.

Wish granted, but they still kill rhino's because the horns are worth a lot of money.

I wish we could travel at the speed of light or faster to go to other planets that can support life.

[boogielicious]

2 hours ago, phillyk said:

Wish granted, but they still kill rhino's because the horns are worth a lot of money.

I wish we could travel at the speed of light or faster to go to other planets that can support life.

Wish granted but as you know, your mass becomes infinite at the speed of light. 

I wish I perform magic like Penn & Teller. 

[iacas]

59 minutes ago, boogielicious said:

I wish I perform magic like Penn & Teller. 

Wish granted, but it's Paul Penn and Susan Teller, and they weren't very good at magic at all.

I wish that I had the ability to, for a minute or so at a time of my choosing, feel exactly what someone else is feeling. Call it "super empathy" or something.

[Hardspoon]

18 minutes ago, iacas said:

I wish that I had the ability to, for a minute or so at a time of my choosing, feel exactly what someone else is feeling. Call it "super empathy" or something.

Wish granted, but it's not a person of your choosing, and it's always someone in extreme anguish. Not very useful.

I wish I could breathe underwater.

[JonMA1]

14 minutes ago, Hardspoon said:

Wish granted, but it's not a person of your choosing, and it's always someone in extreme anguish. Not very useful.

I wish I could breathe underwater.

Wish granted, but you'll have to spend the rest of your life exhaling out of the top of your head.

I wish I'd taken up golf as a kid.

Edit: dolphins don't breathe underwater stupid!

Edited January 4, 2017 by JonMA1

[billchao]

1 hour ago, JonMA1 said:

Wish granted, but you'll have to spend the rest of your life exhaling out of the top of your head.

I wish I'd taken up golf as a kid.

Edit: dolphins don't breathe underwater stupid!

Wish granted but you have only been as good your entire life as you are now.

I wish to have won an Olympic gold medal.

[Piz]

1 hour ago, billchao said:

Wish granted but you have only been as good your entire life as you are now.

I wish to have won an Olympic gold medal.

Wish granted.  You won it in a raffle.  I wish I'd thought of something funnier to say.

I wish I had read the directions and provided a wish.