Phil Mickelson missing US open for HS Graduation

[Aguirre]

2 hours ago, roamin said:

Golf is an individual sport, though. Phil's not on a team, so there's no obligation to play to not, "let the team down"; and there are clearly no requirements to play in the US Open in any of his endorsement contracts, or he'd probably be playing.

No kidding? That's some useful information. Of course, I already pointed that out. Thanks for reading poorly.

[Shorty]

What would be really classy would be for the daughter to say to her father:

"Everything we have is because of you. We know that winning the U.S. Open is one of your greatest ambitions and I wouldn't want to deprive you of an opportunity to win it. There are plenty of milestones in my past that you've been there for and there will be lots in the future. My finishing high school is not the most important thing in my life, but if you won the U.S. Open it would would be a memory that will endure for my lifetime and I want you to have another chance to do it."

 

There's a big difference between someone withdrawing because of illness death or extreme family circumstances and a child "graduating" from high school.

It's his choice, of course, but if I were the daughter I wouldn't allow him to do it.

But....I'm not and it's up to them. Obviously

[Zeph]

I don't see a problem here. He prioritizes one event in his life over another.

It sounds like crazy talk, I know, but maybe he just wants to spend that time with his family rather than play golf, and don't do it for publicity as a family man? I think all the worry about what celebrities do and do not because of publicity often can be unwarranted. They don't necessarily do something for publicity or their image, but simply because that's what they want to do. Life is about priorities.

Being a player on the PGA Tour involves a lot of travelling and time spent away from the family. I understand anyone choosing a family event over a tournament, even if it is the US Open. He's played the tournament 26 times already and let's hope he stays healthy and is able to play more of them. Of course, Phil is one of the lucky professionals that can afford skipping such a tournament.

I'm from Norway, where HS graduation isn't such a big deal, but I understand that it can be more of a thing elsewhere. Maybe the fact that it is a minor event makes it a good reason to attend it. It might mean a lot to his daughter, even more than other events normally regarded as more important. It's a small-ish event and he can't play the US Open because of it. It might make his daughter feel very good that he's willing to spend time with his family on her HS graduation instead of playing the US Open. The fact that HS graduation isn't the most important thing in her life can make him sacrificing the tournament to be there all that much more important.

We also know nothing about the circumstances of this event, or information that can make his decision easier to understand for those who struggle with that.

Edited June 4, 2017 by Zeph

[David in FL]

5 hours ago, Shorty said:

What would be really classy would be for the daughter to say to her father:

"Everything we have is because of you. We know that winning the U.S. Open is one of your greatest ambitions and I wouldn't want to deprive you of an opportunity to win it. There are plenty of milestones in my past that you've been there for and there will be lots in the future. My finishing high school is not the most important thing in my life, but if you won the U.S. Open it would would be a memory that will endure for my lifetime and I want you to have another chance to do it."

 

There's a big difference between someone withdrawing because of illness death or extreme family circumstances and a child "graduating" from high school.

It's his choice, of course, but if I were the daughter I wouldn't allow him to do it.

But....I'm not and it's up to them. Obviously

Extraordinarily well said.

Few teenagers are that insightful and/or selfless though.  

[krupa]

I imagine Phil misses a lot of things his kids do because he's somewhere in the world whacking a little plastic ball around.  Growing up, my dad missed most of things I did (alcoholic, not golfer), including high school and college graduations.  And even if you rationally understand the reason for your parent's absence, you still feel it pretty intensely at times when you see your friends interacting with their parents. 

As far as anyone here knows, his daughter has already said "no dad, play the US Open, you can't miss the chance to get the career grand slam" and he replied, "Hell no."  And for all we know, the possibility is equally good that his daughter was a petulant little snot who screamed obscenities at him until he capitulated.  It's also possible that his daughter struggled in school (some do, and many don't actually graduate) so this could be a major thing.  My guess is that Phil is a decent guy who loves his daughter and wants to celebrate a significant milestone in her life.

Whether I was Tiger, Phil, or some shmoe who qualified for the first time, there'd be nothing short of death that would keep me from my kid's graduation.  But hey, that's only because I know what the kid feels like when his dad doesn't show up.

[jamo]

I understand that there's a certain level of cynicism that goes along with anything Phil does that furthers his "aww shucks I'm just a regular family guy" image, and I've certainly indulged in it myself, but I don't really understand criticism on this one. Maybe he'd just rather watch his daughter graduate high school than play in a golf tournament half a continent away. People age and their priorities change. 

[ChrisP]

Family comes first to Phil, and this is another example of that. In the back of his mind as well, though, is the fact Phil probably believes this isn't a good course for his game and he's probably right. If it were, it may make him think twice a little more. But the fact this course brings with it a lot of unfamiliarity, a ton of length and the requirement of precision off the tee doesn't motivate make Phil feel confident about his chances. 

Edited June 4, 2017 by ChrisP

[cipher]

1 hour ago, jamo said:

I understand that there's a certain level of cynicism that goes along with anything Phil does that furthers his "aww shucks I'm just a regular family guy" image, and I've certainly indulged in it myself, but I don't really understand criticism on this one. Maybe he'd just rather watch his daughter graduate high school than play in a golf tournament half a continent away. People age and their priorities change. 

Read more  

Agree completely.  He has had many chances to play in and win this tournament.  He has just this one chance to attend her graduation.  He wasn't going to win at Erin IMO anyway.

[saevel25]

Big props to Phil for placing family first. A lot of events in our life only happen once. 

[Apoc81]

If he had decided to play, the same people deriding him as a phony would be doing so for that as well. "OH, I thought he was a family man". Sometimes I wonder what makes "fans" so hateful/ 

[chilepepper]

Good for Phil. 

 

 

I still think he's phony though 

[roamin]

12 hours ago, Aguirre said:

No kidding? That's some useful information. Of course, I already pointed that out. Thanks for reading poorly.

Guess I missed it. All I saw was complaining about how someone else lives their life and implications that daddy being rich should make everything okay. My apologies, didn't realize this was such a touchy subject for you.

[Apoc81]

29 minutes ago, roamin said:

Guess I missed it. All I saw was complaining about how someone else lives their life and implications that daddy being rich should make everything okay. My apologies, didn't realize this was such a touchy subject for you.

The idea that he should miss his daughters graduation to play golf is ridiculous. 

US Open-> Every Year

Childs HS Grad-> Once. One ****ing time. The culmination ~18 years of parenting and trying to steer your kids the right way, and an extremely important day to the person graduation, who also happens to to be giving a commencement speech. 

Anyone who thinks he should have played has no kids in their lives. I have no kids of my own (wife can't have kids), but my nephew, the one in my avatar, who is 6yo now, I'd miss anything to watch him graduate. Especially since he was born with a major heart condition and had 4 open heart surgeries so far. Makes you realize how important and precious the life of a child is. Far more important than ANY damned golf tournament. 

[Shorty]

1 hour ago, Apoc81 said:

If he had decided to play, the same people deriding him as a phony would be doing so for that as well. "OH, I thought he was a family man". Sometimes I wonder what makes "fans" so hateful/ 

No they wouldn't.  This man has provided millions of dollars for his current family and as of yet unborn generations. Who could possibly raise an eyebrow because one of the world's top golfers misses what is for him and many others the most important event of the year? In any case the high school graduation (such a lofty term) will just be full of fathers wanting selfies with Phil. He's getting the headline, not his daughter. It's not his daughter's wedding or someone close's funeral. In the scheme of things, for people with the social, intellectual and financial standing of the Mickelson family, a high school graduation is on par with a 10th birthday party.

What is going to be really sickening though, is the commentary of sycophants like Feherty and Baker-Finch who will be going on about it every five minutes, saying how Phil always puts family first etc. etc. For people like Baker-Finch, his praise will be akin to that he lavishly dishes out every time he sees a man in uniform holding a flag.  

 

Edited June 4, 2017 by Shorty

[saevel25]

1 minute ago, Shorty said:

No they wouldn't.  

Sure some would. There are those who think missing the US Open is bad, and those who would think missing his daughters graduation is bad. These type of decisions are a no-win for Phil in terms of what other people think. 

What matters the most is what Phil thinks. If he thinks that going to his daughters ONLY high school graduation is more important to him than the US Open then fine. 

Remember, Phil would have walked away from his chance against Stewart when the US Open was at Pinehurst. His wife was due any day. Phil had his pager on him to receive the signal to leave the US Open. It does seem that Phil puts his family before his own golf legacy. 

4 minutes ago, Shorty said:

 In any case the high school graduation (such a lofty term) will just be full of fathers wanting selfies with Phil. It's not his daughter's wedding or someone close's funeral. In the scheme of things, for people with the social, intellectual and financial standing of the Mickelson family, a high school graduation is on par with a 10th birthday party.

You seem to like to demean what Phil and his family thinks of their daughter's high school graduation. 

 

[Apoc81]

6 hours ago, krupa said:

I imagine Phil misses a lot of things his kids do because he's somewhere in the world whacking a little plastic ball around.  Growing up, my dad missed most of things I did (alcoholic, not golfer), including high school and college graduations.  And even if you rationally understand the reason for your parent's absence, you still feel it pretty intensely at times when you see your friends interacting with their parents. 

As far as anyone here knows, his daughter has already said "no dad, play the US Open, you can't miss the chance to get the career grand slam" and he replied, "Hell no."  And for all we know, the possibility is equally good that his daughter was a petulant little snot who screamed obscenities at him until he capitulated.  It's also possible that his daughter struggled in school (some do, and many don't actually graduate) so this could be a major thing.  My guess is that Phil is a decent guy who loves his daughter and wants to celebrate a significant milestone in her life.

Whether I was Tiger, Phil, or some shmoe who qualified for the first time, there'd be nothing short of death that would keep me from my kid's graduation.  But hey, that's only because I know what the kid feels like when his dad doesn't show up.

Thank you. 

 

My dad wasn't an alcoholic, but he was a workaholic (and I got my competitiveness and athleticism from him), working to make sure I had everything I needed and wanted. Through no fault of his own, what he didn't realize was that what I wanted was more time with my father. I started hockey at 3 1/2, and played AAA from age 7 right through highschool, he worked three 12 hour shifts overtime a week to make sure there was money for travel, hotels, hockey sticks (my mom did the driving, taking me to games), making sure I had the best golf clubs in the summer. Memberships at both clubs around us. After I turned 16 he bought me a new car for hockey, golf, and to last me through university, so I could get around on my own. He paid the insurance the gas. I would have been happy with less than half of that, if he had spent more time with me. Thankfully we made up for it since I got out of university and he no longer had to work so hard to make sure I had everything he didn't. It makes me both sad that he thought that was what was important to me, and that he put his life on hold like that for almost 20 years. He would have climbed Everest to see me graduate, it was a source of pride for him, since he didn't graduate himself (but later got his GED, which was the same month I graduated, so we threw a big, big bash to celebrate). Now he's a journeyman in two trades. I'm proud of him. 

Just now, saevel25 said:

Sure some would. There are those who think missing the US Open is bad, and those who would think missing his daughters graduation is bad. These type of decisions are a no-win for Phil in terms of what other people think. 

What matters the most is what Phil thinks. If he thinks that going to his daughters ONLY high school graduation is more important to him than the US Open then fine. 

Remember, Phil would have walked away from his chance against Stewart when the US Open was at Pinehurst. His wife was due any day. Phil had his pager on him to receive the signal to leave the US Open. It does seem that Phil puts his family before his own golf legacy. 

You seem to like to demean what Phil and his family thinks of their daughter's high school graduation. 

 

He's acting like Phils love for hiss family isn't genuine. He's being ludicrous, and thats the nicest way I can put it. Phil is doing what a father should do. Hopefully he'll understand that someday. 

 

Acting like graduating 12 years of school doesn't merit dad being there to watch is just idiotic, at best/. 

[boogielicious]

5 hours ago, jamo said:

I understand that there's a certain level of cynicism that goes along with anything Phil does that furthers his "aww shucks I'm just a regular family guy" image, and I've certainly indulged in it myself, but I don't really understand criticism on this one. Maybe he'd just rather watch his daughter graduate high school than play in a golf tournament half a continent away. People age and their priorities change. 

 

3 hours ago, cipher said:

Agree completely.  He has had many chances to play in and win this tournament.  He has just this one chance to attend her graduation.  He wasn't going to win at Erin IMO anyway.

Didn't we have the same discussion about someone skipping the Masters for the birth of their child? Phil has got it right here. 

[Shorty]

7 minutes ago, Apoc81 said:

He's acting like Phils love for hiss family isn't genuine. He's being ludicrous, and thats the nicest way I can put it. Phil is doing what a father should do. Hopefully he'll understand that someday. 

 

Acting like graduating 12 years of school doesn't merit dad being there to watch is just idiotic, at best/. 

But being away from home for 5 days a week playing golf half the year while your child is growing up is OK? 

I have no problem with it, given the circumstances and the attendant advantages, but lets not pretend we can have it both ways.

For a child of wealthy, intelligent and famous parents  to survive 12 years of schooling is not an amazing achievement.

If your parents were alcoholic, poor and left school at 12 it would be.

Congratulations to Phil's daughter, but let's not pretend she has done something amazing or difficult.