Jason, Amanda Dufner Getting a Divorce

[Mr. Desmond]

Try this ... it has many of the cited reasons:

http://www.divorce.usu.edu/files/uploads/lesson3.pdf

There are some well known factors that put people at higher risk for divorce: marrying at a very early age, less education and income, living together before marriage, a premarital pregnancy, no religious affiliation, coming from a divorced family, and feelings of insecurity. The most common reasons people give for their divorce are lack of commitment, too much arguing, infidelity, marrying too young, unrealistic expectations, lack of equality in the relationship, lack of preparation for marriage, and abuse. Some of these problems can be fixed and divorce prevented. Commitment is having a long-term view of the marriage that helps us not get overwhelmed by the problems and challenges day to day.

When there is high commitment in a relationship, we feel safer and are willing to give more for the relationship to succeed. Commitment is clearly a factor in why some couples stay together and others divorce. Divorce is necessary at times, and it may even help to preserve the moral boundaries of marriage. But parents have a responsibility to do all that they reasonably can to preserve and repair a marriage, especially when the reasons for divorce are not the most serious ones. Barriers to leaving a marriage, such as financial worries, can keep marriages together in the short run. However, unless there is improvement in the relationship, eventually the barriers are usually not enough to keep a marriage together in the long run.

Okay further digging found the source for this online guidebook. Many of the reasons cited for divorce in this thread are found here.

Apparently, Utah wanted to study the issue.

Alan J. Hawkins, Ph.D. & Tamara A. Fackrell, J.D.

Produced on behalf of the Utah Commission on Marriage Salt Lake City, Utah • October 2009
Dr. Alan Hawkins, Chair • Melanie Reese, Coordinator

About 140 pages of a workbook.

http://divorce.usu.edu/files/uploads/ShouldIKeepTryingtoWorkItOut.pdf

[Golfingdad]

Quite right, but the focus has now moved to the weird research by one of Ferguson's esteemed colleagues, the identity of whom is such a closely guarded secret.

The possibility that his source and the dude who's friends dogs aunts brothers cousins girlfriends dad said that Tiger withdrew yesterday from today's Par 3 contest are fairly good, then, I'd wager?

[Gunther]

Oh what complete and utter bollocks. Yes some of these reasons are found if you Google "Causes for divorce".  Again - I am thinking that the avatar is actually you. Stethoscope around the neck, white coat, Day of Our Lives style. It's clearly some "research" reported  in some embarrassing religious journal. Reason for divorce: : "Premarital cohabitation". What nonsense.

Dr. Drake Ramore perhaps?

[Shorty]

Okay further digging found the source for this online guidebook. Many of the reasons cited for divorce in this thread are found here.

Apparently, Utah wanted to study the issue.

There ya go. All predictions proved correct.

Very selective and odd quoting by Dr Kildare.

I doubt that a Utah perspective is universal when it come to links between divorce and religion, BTW.

[Lihu]

Like the third Lord of the Rings movie, this thread has had a number of logical and satisfying ending points, like this one, and yet has kept going for no particular reason. Roll credits.

How this thread should have ended. . . [VIDEO]https://youtu.be/1yqVD0swvWU[/VIDEO] Substitute the last line " Can you imagine if we walked the whole way?" with "Can you imagine if we posted 450+ comments?" :-P

[dkolo]

How this thread should have ended. . . [VIDEO]https://youtu.be/1yqVD0swvWU[/VIDEO] Substitute the last line " Can you imagine if we walked the whole way?" with "Can you imagine if we posted 450+ comments?" :-P

Fly, you fools!

[Mr. Desmond]

There ya go. All predictions proved correct.

Very selective and odd quoting by Dr Kildare.

I doubt that a Utah perspective is universal when it come to links between divorce and religion, BTW.

I wondered something similar - being a Utah study and wondering if religion was thoroughly discussed or linked to divorce. Skimming through the Table of Contents, I did not see much on religion other than the effect  of divorce on children in terms of church attendance.

I guess if we knew what questions to ask before we married and how to manage a marriage (education), and quit "falling in love" and instead saw the significant other as how they really were (reality), instead of how our hormones saw them (sex), we'd have less divorces.

Good stuff. Carry on.

[Vinsk]

Reality Fantasy

[Mr. Desmond]

Reality

Fantasy

On an Island ...

[Ferguson]

There ya go. All predictions proved correct. Very selective and odd quoting by Dr Kildare. I doubt that a Utah perspective is universal when it come to links between divorce and religion, BTW.

That’s great feedback. As long as I didn’t mention it, all is well. Although directly related to divorce in America, these findings and reasons I posted did not touch upon the unique situation we have with Amanda and Jason. The reasons I stated were more of the broader strokes of divorce if you will. I should have not generalized so much. For an in depth discussion, we must look at the finer details such as research or articles or blogs pointed in the direction of sports figures or professional athletes. I’m a big man and I can admit when I’m wrong. I misspoke on my numbers assuming that the divorce rate of around 50% for Americans was congruent with that of professional athletes. And for that I apologize. I don’t have access to data regarding people in sports. Referencing the below article, with the data and research sources provided within the linked article, the divorce rate with professional athletes, including golfers is 60-80%. I could not believe my eyes. You can bash me all you want, or call me religious-driven, that’s okay. I think most of you are sincere in your arguments, and for that I applaud you. It’s hard to dispute two very reputable periodicals like The Times, SI as well as the Forbes contributor, Mr. Lariviere. http://www.forbes.com/sites/davidlariviere/2014/08/15/divorce-not-domestic-violence-is-biggest-issue-at-home-for-professional-athletes/

[isukgolf]

Sort of embarrassed to post on such a "National Enquirer" thread ... I would ask who gives a rat's ass what the Dufner's do, but I guess I could simply go back and read the people that posted ... which ironically now includes me ... but I am wearing denim so that may explain why I feel compelled to post on such a trivial topic ... But honestly how does a topic like this even get over 3 comments ...

[DrvFrShow]

Must post in 450 plus post thread.

[Shorty]

But honestly how does a topic like this even get over 3 comments ...

Because it ceases to be about the original topic immediately.

That isn't interesting at all. Other stuff is.

[Aguirre]

It also demonstrates people are more selfish and less willing to make compromises.  I'm not talking about remaining in an abusive relationship but more the cases where people opt to divorce because it's easier rather than work through their issues.  If you have no intention of giving 100% effort to make a marriage work, you shouldn't get married.

Rather than see divorces increase I'd rather see marriages decrease so that people don't get married because they want to play house for a while.

I don't agree at all.  I think the commitment of marriage encourages people to work through their problems more thoroughly than just an average couple.  And I think that's a good thing.  It's much easier to let go without a ceremonial commitment, let alone things like shared living space, pets, and of course, children.

But your last paragraph confuses me.  Why do you care if they want to play house?  What does it matter to you?   Marriage is just a word, no matter what anybody says.  There's nothing sacred about it, anymore than the unmarried couple who has been together for decades.  It's a ceremonial commitment, nothing more, law aside.  And the law should have nothing to do with your commitment to a partner, unless you're some kind of complete weirdo.

[Aguirre]

On an Island...

It's only an island if you look at it from the water.

[inthehole]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ferguson

These are from journals. Excerpts, quotes and portions can be found online, sure. Many times you’ll see the citing references that identify the source at the end of article, especially if the article is from a noteworthy website. I am not permitted to reference the actual journal and I will not cite an associate on an internet board. I would like to leave it at that.

Seems sort of pointless to make a statement, imply that it's backed up by some data but being unwilling to cite that data to let others review it.

agree  ... assume there is some sort of professional reason for it as his avatar shows someone in a doctors jacket & no personal info whatsoever in his profile - tough to figure.

[14ledo81]

But your last paragraph confuses me.  Why do you care if they want to play house?  What does it matter to you?   Marriage is just a word, no matter what anybody says.  There's nothing sacred about it, anymore than the unmarried couple who has been together for decades.  It's a ceremonial commitment, nothing more, law aside.  And the law should have nothing to do with your commitment to a partner, unless you're some kind of complete weirdo.

I disagree with this whole-heartedly..

I suppose you can put me in the "complete weirdo" category.....

[saevel25]

But your last paragraph confuses me.  Why do you care if they want to play house?  What does it matter to you?   Marriage is just a word, no matter what anybody says.  There's nothing sacred about it, anymore than the unmarried couple who has been together for decades.  It's a ceremonial commitment, nothing more, law aside.  And the law should have nothing to do with your commitment to a partner, unless you're some kind of complete weirdo.

I can see your point, for some people it might be that way. Again there are people who marry because they want to be with someone for the rest of their lives. I get it, you don't need to label it. I am not big on labels unless that label made the person I cared for happy. Yet words do have power and meaning. To say it isn't sacred is throwing mud in the face of all those who think it does.