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How Did You Get Your Spouse to Play Golf?


bkuehn1952
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How Did You Get Your Spouse (or significant other) to Play Golf?  

37 members have voted

  1. 1. How did you get your partner to start playing golf, or did they already do so?

    • They played golf before I met them
    • He/she asked to play after we got together
    • You asked them to play after you got together
    • Still trying to get them interested
    • If/when they show an interest, I will help them
    • Golf is my thing. I don't really want them to play
    • Something else - please describe


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In @JonMA1's blog, @dave s commented about playing with his wife and the typical things they did.  It got me thinking about "spouse golf".  Having a partner that plays can add to the enjoyment of the game (along with the expense - like paying for my wife to play Pebble Beach - ouch!).

My wife is a pretty good sport.  She did not play when we got together.  She went to a "Golf Camp" with me the 2nd or 3rd year after we were married.  Five days of instruction, hitting balls, playing.  She and I regularly played with my parents when they were members at a Florida club.  Now it is us and the grand kids.  

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Brian Kuehn

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Ive tried getting lessons, buying cute outfits and all the other cons. Nothing has worked. My spouse isn't remotely interested in golf. The only good she sees in it (she says) is when my son is old enough i can take him out there with me... 

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Man, I would love it if my wife could enjoy golf. Unfortunately I can't be much help to your question lol.

Honestly though when I've taken my wife to the driving range with me either 2 or 3 times and each time she said she loved it. But man I have to really try hard to talk her into going with me still! For some reason, even though she knows she's had fun each time, I can't motivate her to go. It's like pulling teeth, and I don't want to make her do something she doesn't want to do (too often).

It's strange because I feel like my wife has the potential to really enjoy aspects of the game such as getting out in nature, a beautiful day, walking through the grass, seeing the birds, clouds, and the quietness of it all. But I guess she just can't commit lol. We played 18 holes once (granted it was a pretty hot day) and she about died. Took like 3 days for her to stop beating me up over that one lol. It didn't help that she couldn't get her driver off the ground. I'm sure that's frustrating. 

1 minute ago, Groucho Valentine said:

Ive tried getting lessons, buying cute outfits and all the other cons. Nothing has worked. My spouse isn't remotely interested in golf. The only good she sees in it (she says) is when my son is old enough i can take him out there with me... 

Lol same. She loved the whole picking out a cute outfit thing. It lasted 1 round haha.

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10 minutes ago, jkelley9 said:

Man, I would love it if my wife could enjoy golf. Unfortunately I can't be much help to your question lol.

Honestly though when I've taken my wife to the driving range with me either 2 or 3 times and each time she said she loved it. But man I have to really try hard to talk her into going with me still! For some reason, even though she knows she's had fun each time, I can't motivate her to go. It's like pulling teeth, and I don't want to make her do something she doesn't want to do (too often).

It's strange because I feel like my wife has the potential to really enjoy aspects of the game such as getting out in nature, a beautiful day, walking through the grass, seeing the birds, clouds, and the quietness of it all. But I guess she just can't commit lol. We played 18 holes once (granted it was a pretty hot day) and she about died. Took like 3 days for her to stop beating me up over that one lol. It didn't help that she couldn't get her driver off the ground. I'm sure that's frustrating. 

Lol same. She loved the whole picking out a cute outfit thing. It lasted 1 round haha.

ikr? She still wears the clothes, though. I got conned. 

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Back in the "pre-children" days, I made a modest effort to get my wife into golf. I bought her a few lessons and took her to the driving range with me, but it just didn't seem to stick. 

My best plan (so I thought) was to take her to the lighted executive course one evening after work. We teed off around 6pm, and walked 9 holes together. I even had the foresight to bring our "to go" wine kit. So while we waited on the tee box for the groups in front of us, I suavely opened the bottle, poured some vino into our plastic glasses and toasted while sat and waited for the green to clear. I figured that a nice evening stroll, combined with some wine and some quality time with the hubby would be a sure fire way to get her hooked on golf. 

But alas, while she claims she had a really run time that evening, she hasn't really had any desire to go back and do it again. And so like others, I don't force the issue. I guess I'll just have to be that notorious dad that forces golf on his children instead, lol.

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"Hey honey, want go play golf?"

"Sure"

She's not addicted like me, but likes to play. We know couples that like to play too. It is a great social game.

Scott

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My wife always wanted to play as a teenager, but her father discouraged her, I think the golf course was his "refuge".  Soon after we were married, she decided to take some group lessons, with the goal of playing "occasionally, like a couple of times a year on vacation".  Well, she got hooked, and is every bit as avid a player as I am.  I take very little credit for the quality of her play (she's currently a 15 handicap), but I do take a bit of credit for her being a "golfer", taking care of the course, understanding etiquette, playing at a good pace, etc.  There's no doubt in my mind that I get to play a lot more golf because of her interest.  Most of our vacations involve golf, we go to the course together almost every weekend (we don't always play together), and she never begrudges the time I get to play.  

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I love seeing when the wives comes out and play. Some of them are pretty good. The clubhouse environment is more fun with women present. I would like for my wife to play with me once in a while. Her only previous experience was playing with her brother before we met, and I think he mostly just made fun of her, i.e., it was not a serious effort to learn. I've long since surpassed my wife in skill level. Maybe I will surprise her with lessons. My fear is she simply doesn't love the game enough to commit the time. Everyone loves the clothes and the environment, but then there is the matter of doing the work...

Edited by Kalnoky
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My wife had some bad instruction in college and won't try again.   She's fine with me playing golf without her.   I'm fine playing golf without her.   It would be nice to share this experience but it won't happen.   I've given up trying.  

From the land of perpetual cloudiness.   I'm Denny

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6 hours ago, Groucho Valentine said:

Ive tried getting lessons, buying cute outfits and all the other cons. Nothing has worked. My spouse isn't remotely interested in golf. The only good she sees in it (she says) is when my son is old enough i can take him out there with me... 

My story exactly - at least she appreciates the fact my son likes to go out with me....but I do not foresee her ever playing 

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My wife was a more serious golfer than me before I met her. I had played, but had given up when I was a moody and impatient teenager. She got me to play a couple of times, and that started to get me hooked on golf. Now I'm much more serious than she is. She plays in a league every Monday during the summer, and we'll get out a couple of times a year to play 9 holes. 

I think she regrets piquing my interest in golf, haha...

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7 hours ago, Big C said:

Back in the "pre-children" days, I made a modest effort to get my wife into golf. I bought her a few lessons and took her to the driving range with me, but it just didn't seem to stick. 

My best plan (so I thought) was to take her to the lighted executive course one evening after work. We teed off around 6pm, and walked 9 holes together. I even had the foresight to bring our "to go" wine kit. So while we waited on the tee box for the groups in front of us, I suavely opened the bottle, poured some vino into our plastic glasses and toasted while sat and waited for the green to clear. I figured that a nice evening stroll, combined with some wine and some quality time with the hubby would be a sure fire way to get her hooked on golf. 

But alas, while she claims she had a really run time that evening, she hasn't really had any desire to go back and do it again. And so like others, I don't force the issue. I guess I'll just have to be that notorious dad that forces golf on his children instead, lol.

Pretty much the same here, except without the wine.

Tristan Hilton

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I used to be a golf pro....she came out for a lesson with another friend. I think I was supposed to "hook up with the friend"? That was 20 years ago!:-)

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21 hours ago, DaveP043 said:

My wife always wanted to play as a teenager, but her father discouraged her, I think the golf course was his "refuge".  Soon after we were married, she decided to take some group lessons, with the goal of playing "occasionally, like a couple of times a year on vacation".  Well, she got hooked, and is every bit as avid a player as I am.  I take very little credit for the quality of her play (she's currently a 15 handicap), but I do take a bit of credit for her being a "golfer", taking care of the course, understanding etiquette, playing at a good pace, etc.  There's no doubt in my mind that I get to play a lot more golf because of her interest.  Most of our vacations involve golf, we go to the course together almost every weekend (we don't always play together), and she never begrudges the time I get to play.  

Very similar situation with my wife except she had absolutely no interest in the game initially.  We joined a private club near our home a few years ago and she deemed golf to be "my thing" and she'd spend most time at the pool, etc. We did a twilight or two and I convinced her to participate in a series of 4-hole clinics the club was hosting for non-playing spouses of members. Something clicked and she was hooked. I'm pretty sure she hasn't seen the pool since ?.  We'll play 9 together or with another couple once a weekend, she has her regular playing group, and I have mine. Makes for a lot of fun with her and a lot of guilt-free rounds for me.  It also brought unplanned expnses for an entire golf wardrobe and equipment for her but the overall returns far outweigh the investment as far as I'm concerned.  

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Since bkuen1952 mentioned me in his post, I'm going to respond with reasons why my wife really enjoys and has stayed with golf:

I made sure when she started she understood that TV golf isn't reality.  Only those men and women play golf like that!  For everyone else, there is a degree of 'suck' you have to live with and be okay with.

My wife has an outdoor job (delivers mail for a living) so she enjoys being outdoors in heat, cold, rain, etc.  Doesn't bother her one bit to play in any conditions.  She prefers sunny and low-70s.

Early on, I took my wife to really nice resorts where any and all 'girl' amenities PLUS golf were available to her.  Check out Villas at Grand Cypress in Orlando for a good example.  We spent equal time at the pool sunning and sipping cocktails, going out for nice dinners at night, giving her 'spa time' if she wanted AND playing / practicing our golf games.

My wife is fairly athletic and competitive as well.  She doesn't shy away from rigorous activity so golf is like relaxation to her.  Outdoors, good weather, tranquil when it's just the two of us.

She also likes to drink beer and can swear like a sailor (and still look good doing it!) when she hits a solid shot that doesn't live up to her expectations.

I've only given her the impression that golf is something we can BOTH do the rest of our lives. We enjoy each others company and golf is a great activity we enjoy as a couple.

When I was sure she would continue playing, she got fitted for clubs and her game improved dramatically after that.  She sees the results from better equipment and practice.  She broke 100 for the first time last year.  This year will be her 10th season. 

We take golf trips at least twice a year.  Again, she gets her time for what she wants and she never turns down a golf outing with me. I know not to schedule golf for her every day of a vacation.  She has other things she wants to do. 

She'll play 3 of 4 Sundays a month with me during the summer months.  If we can get out, it's an early afternoon 18 hole round and a nice dinner outdoors afterwards.  And I pay because she's worth it. And a lot of weeks Sunday is her ONLY day off so sleeping in is her first priority and we play later in the day.

This is the most important thing:  On the course, I absolutely NEVER criticize or offer unsolicited advice.  The only golf-related words spoken are positive reinforcements or I say nothing at all.  Want your wife to NEVER play golf with you again?  Start telling her what she's 'doing wrong.'

If any of the above sounds like your wife, a gentle push in the direction of the golf course might net you a willing playing partner for the rest of your life.  I hope so because playing with my wife is pretty cool.  She's fun to be around, has provided so many laughs on the course and plays well enough (most of the time) to really enjoy the overall experience of golf.

dave

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What are you guys talking about? She's the one that got me to play, not the other way around! :whistle: She doesn't play enough or much these days, too busy with other things but I hope that this changes somewhat soon and that we have some good outings again.

Philippe

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1) Driving range
2) Lessons - with a teacher who is very nice and good at explaining things.
3) We started with her playing the last 150m of holes, this made the game fun and meant she wasn't teeing off 'in front of people' (helps that the 1st where we play is a dog leg)
4) No advice. If she asks me what went wrong my only answer is 'coach said X at your last lesson, are you doing X?'

Yesterday was the first time she went to the driving range without me (I was stuck working) - which I think is pretty cool.

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On 2/14/2017 at 10:47 AM, DaveP043 said:

My wife always wanted to play as a teenager, but her father discouraged her, I think the golf course was his "refuge".  

I believe there was a lot of that kind of thinking back in the day. The guys went to the course when they wanted to get away from the women, and when the women wanted to get away from the guys, they went shopping. My Mom and her friend could shop like maniacs all day and not buy a damned thing! When we were young my friend and I got dragged along on plenty of those trips, and we were bored to tears!

I also remember holidays where the extended family would get together and the men would go play golf. The women were always very precise in their instructions. "Remember, we're putting the food out at 4:00!" Well 4 O'clock would come and go, the women would feed us kids and themselves, clean up and put everything away, and just sit there stewing while we kids played. The guys would come rolling in about sunset!

I'm 64 and have no problem playing with women as long as they can play at least a little bit. My buddy and I play his Sister and her girlfriend several times a year in 2 person scrambles where we give them strokes. We enjoy ourselves and have had to buy drinks on many occasions.

However, if your spouse, or significant other, doesn't want to play, why not just invite them along to enjoy the day? They can walk along with you, or ride in the cart, and enjoy the scenery.

EDIT: And don't get me wrong about "back in the day". As much PC preachiness gets bandied about these days, I'm a firm believer that the sexes NEED time apart from each other as much as they need time together!

Edited by Buckeyebowman
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