Help Needed… Should I Quit Golf?

[jamesdav12]

Hi everyone,

I'd appreciate some advice, and I'll try to keep this short.

So I'm 18 and I've been playing golf since I was 5 and really got into it when I was about 11/12. I have been playing in some low stakes tournaments for the past 6 years and I'm finishing up my last year and last season of golf for my high school right now. When I was younger I aspired to play collegiate level golf and to simply get really good. Being completely honest with myself, I have seen no improvement over the past 4 years (other than simply hitting the ball farther from growing taller) and I am pretty much stuck at a very inconsistent skill level of golf that results in scores everywhere from +18 to +5 for 18 holes. To give you all a better idea, I have put a lot of hours into this game and for many years tried very hard at improving my swing by studying the pros, filming my golf swing, and practicing on the range and course.(Yes I have given golf lessons a fair try) I am a student of the game, and I can feel that I can analyze any golf swing very well.

Obviously, it is very frustrating to put in thousands upon thousands of hours into an endeavor expecting improvement, but getting none. I have come to a point where I don't really enjoy golf as much (not that it ever gave me a great deal of genuine joy anyways) and don't enjoy competitive golf at all. I know that I will not be playing collegiate level, and will probably not even have the time to play that much golf recreationally during college for the next 4 years. Now, I am looking to take up strength-training and piano to replace golf (endeavors that will actually result in progress if I simply put in the time). My only dilemma is: what do I do with this sport that I have invested so much into already, and have gained so much knowledge about? Do I quit golf entirely? Should I just resign to my fate as a shitty weekend-warrior golfer? Should I try to make some money through some coaching on the side? 

As you can imagine, I wish I had picked some other hobby back when I was younger. For a while, golf was a part of my identity. Now it is not, and I don't know what to do...

[CR McDivot]

Golf is a hard mistress.

Some will have more success with her than others, no matter the effort.

No one, REPEAT NO ONE, can ever master her!

If you truly love her, continue to court her and be content with what she gives.

If not, find a more accommodating bitch! 

[Hardspoon]

This is an easy one.

Do you enjoy playing and practicing golf?  If so, continue.

Have you stopped enjoying golf?  If so, stop.

  I'm being a bit facetious, but seriously, sometimes it is that simple.  There is a cult of improvement around golf that doesn't exist in other sports...if I were to play softball for the next ten years, and sorta stay at the same skill level, nobody would care, and I'd enjoy playing.  But in golf, there's some sense that you should always be improving, and if you're not, you're failing.

Resist that.  If you enjoy it, play.  If you don't, stop.

[RandallT]

Nice post. I know it took a lot to write that up.

My humble advice is that you likely know already what will fit your life most. Even though you've given us great background, there are still so many factors to consider.

Not the least of which include:

Do you have friends who golf? Are those rounds you play with them important to you?

If it were me, I'd take a break based on the tone of what you've written. Time away can be good. Maybe this is just a bad mood and you'll be ready to come back soon. 

Sounds like it might be longer though. Dive into something else that gives you a spark again.

Golf will always be there, but when you come back, do so with a new outlook. If you see a fate of being a shitty weekend warrior, and that gets to you, then you aren't really ready yet.

Come back when you're ready to enjoy some aspect of it all: the outdoors, the learning process, whatever. Otherwise what's the point?

 

 

[CR McDivot]

Good ball, Hardspoon!

I think I tried to say as much - in my Old Fart philosophical way. 

Edited April 27, 2017 by CR McDivot

[CCC]

Yes, the game of golf will always be there, no matter how old you are. Come back anytime and give the game another try.

[Denny Bang Bang]

@jamesdav12 I think you're at a stage in life where a lot of things are changing, there are decisions to be made about your future, things most of us go through (or have gone through).  If you're interested in piano, go for it!  (although as a musician myself, I assure you frustration and sticking points occur in music as well... you will mess up a lot before you become proficient)  Strength training?  Go for it!  Anything else that's been in the back of your head?  Go for it!

This is a great time in your life to try a lot of different things, experiment, live.  If that means putting down the sticks for a while, or longer, so be it.  As others mentioned, the game will always be there if you decide to come back.

Edited April 27, 2017 by Denny Bang Bang

[FinTurma]

I was a good junior golfer, but pretty much quit golf when I went to college. I started being more active and playing more about 5 years ago, and now I enjoy golf more than ever! I got to do lots of fun things, travel, meet new friends etc. that I prob wouldn't have done as much if I would've golfed through college. 

 

[Dannyhansen88]

Hey man, I'm 20 now and started the game when I was 15. I buried myself into this game, heart and soul, I had an obsession over the game and still do. Ive spent thousands of hours and the range played so many rounds and analyzed so many swings and have become so studious of the game through personal research and through my old swing coach Joe Caruso (highly recommend if you're in the San Antonio TX area). Last summer I had to quit trying to play at big D1 and even quit tournament play in general. I became so frustrated with the game for the same reason, hours at the range and practice facilites every single day, I couldn't get enough of the game, when I wasn't playing I was thinking about playing and practicing. I was getting so angry with the game that being outside 10 feet from 170+ yards had me ticked off (yes very unrealistic I know). I had to quit trying to play for the end result, dropped tournament play and all my ambitions and after I did that I enjoyed the game so much more than before. Don't quit the game for life, I have made great friends here at Texas A&M through golf and have had great on course memories, I just dropped my college golf ambitions and dropped individual tournament play and I have never enjoyed the game more in my life.

[Let it Fly]

7 hours ago, jamesdav12 said:

For a while, golf was a part of my identity. Now it is not, and I don't know what to do...

The other guys have already addressed anything I could possibly give related specifically to golf, but I can speak directly to the above thought as it relates to baseball.

Played baseball my whole like...5 years old all the way through college.  My goal was to earn a collegiate scholarship, and once I achieved that, I set my sights on possibly playing pro ball.  Once the pro-ball aspirations did not pan out, and college was over, I too was lost.  The game, practice, workouts, teammates were my entire life...my identity.  I stumbled around playing men's leagues for a few years, and ultimately hung the spikes up in my mid-twenties, convincing myself it was because "it wasn't worth getting hurt."  

Man...what I lie I told myself.  By the time I realized that I actually gave it up because I wasn't as good as I once was/wanted to be, it really was a little too late to get back into it full force.  My expectations playing in those men's leagues were WAY too high, and I'd take every tough day as knock on who I am as a person.  It ate me up.  Sure do miss it, and just sharing my personal experience because my big regret is that I took it far too seriously, even after college, and forgot how to enjoy (and why I enjoyed) playing the game. 

Just a short story from someone who's experienced similar feelings to what you have now, just in a different arena.  Best of luck, you'll be alright no matter what.

[mcanadiens]

8 hours ago, jamesdav12 said:

I wish I had picked some other hobby back when I was younger.

As some one who picked up golf at age 35, this struck me funny from an 18 year-old. 

You are still very young and have a entire life to try many things. The fact that you wrote out such a piece says you still care. Tons of guys on this site played stopped and came back to it.

 

[RH31]

If you're not enjoying it, and it sure sounds like you're not, then drop it altogether for awhile. Find other hobbies you can enjoy in different ways. I've been playing myself since I was 24 and have stopped almost completely and started again a few times over the years. I went from a 100 round a year guy to  just a handful of rounds with my buds and back up to 70-90 and back down again. There are plenty of other things to do out there that aren't golf related. You're young and healthy you'll find some fun elsewhere!!! Good Luck!!!

[dennyjones]

Golf is one of the few activities or sports that you will be able to continue when you get older.   You are getting some great advice from from "been there done that" people.    You'll figure it out and when you do, let us know..

Good luck 

[Foot Wedge]

My humble opinion is that everything is about perception.  So I'm going to ask you to look at your one situation, but from two different angles.  

First (you seem to be looking at it this particular way) is that you've invested these countless hours and although you are solid (I'd kill to have a shot at shooting +5, want to give some pointers on my swing thread???) you haven't seen the improvement that you think should have been attainable for the time you have invested. All of this is a disappointment to you.

Now take some time to look at your situation from a second perspective.  You have invested enough time and practice into this game to get good enough where, as far as joe golfer goes, you are good.  You are going off to college, which in itself is a blessing not everyone gets, and with competitive golf behind you, you can focus on your major, studies, and personal life.  You will meet new people, some of which may play golf.  Some of which may be good, some of which may have been casually taught by their father a year or two before, like me.  All of which wouldn't mind the chance to get out and play a few rounds with a new friend, and given your knowledge of the swing, wouldn't mind getting a few pointers either.  If golf changes from being a source of stress and anxiety to being associated with friends, family and enjoying yourself, all of this will add up to a very positive experience for you.

It's hard to look at the big picture when emotions are running high, but in the long run as priorities change during life's different chapters , golf will provide you with much more positive experiences than negative...if you want it to.

[sirsteveo55]

9 hours ago, jamesdav12 said:

I have seen no improvement over the past 4 years (other than simply hitting the ball farther from growing taller) and I am pretty much stuck at a very inconsistent skill level of golf that results in scores everywhere from +18 to +5 for 18 holes. To give you all a better idea, I have put a lot of hours into this game and for many years tried very hard at improving my swing by studying the pros, filming my golf swing, and practicing on the range and course.

You are obviously a great golfer and have a lot of skill. Do something else that gets your mind off the game for a little. Maybe a month or more I think it's hard to play with a stressed mind. I think you sound like you are struggling with the mental aspect of the game.

I do not recommend quitting completely because you will regret it. I am only 24 so I am not much older than you and I was in a similar situation in high school. I was an amazing baseball player. As a freshman I was playing on the varsity team. I would eat sleep and breath baseball. I was invited to play in the junior olympics and I would travel all over the US to play. My junior year in high school I had torn my rotator cuff and was not able to play anymore. I did rehab and  I could have played my senior year. I could not live up to how I used to be able to play. I just quit and never picked up a glove again. Quitting is not the answer. I wish I would have continued to play and just accepted I will never be what I was and just enjoyed the game because it was my love.

I recommend you find a way to clear your mind and learn to play for fun and really enjoy yourself on the course. Surround yourself with other golfers who are positive players who are fun to play with. All you can do it give it 100%. If you give 100% you can't get mad at yourself for putting it all on the line. When you go out and only give 75% and you know you are not giving 100% you will probably hold it against yourself.

 

[Lihu]

9 hours ago, jamesdav12 said:

Hi everyone,

I'd appreciate some advice, and I'll try to keep this short.

So I'm 18 and I've been playing golf since I was 5 and really got into it when I was about 11/12. I have been playing in some low stakes tournaments for the past 6 years and I'm finishing up my last year and last season of golf for my high school right now. When I was younger I aspired to play collegiate level golf and to simply get really good. Being completely honest with myself, I have seen no improvement over the past 4 years (other than simply hitting the ball farther from growing taller) and I am pretty much stuck at a very inconsistent skill level of golf that results in scores everywhere from +18 to +5 for 18 holes. To give you all a better idea, I have put a lot of hours into this game and for many years tried very hard at improving my swing by studying the pros, filming my golf swing, and practicing on the range and course.(Yes I have given golf lessons a fair try) I am a student of the game, and I can feel that I can analyze any golf swing very well.

Obviously, it is very frustrating to put in thousands upon thousands of hours into an endeavor expecting improvement, but getting none. I have come to a point where I don't really enjoy golf as much (not that it ever gave me a great deal of genuine joy anyways) and don't enjoy competitive golf at all. I know that I will not be playing collegiate level, and will probably not even have the time to play that much golf recreationally during college for the next 4 years. Now, I am looking to take up strength-training and piano to replace golf (endeavors that will actually result in progress if I simply put in the time). My only dilemma is: what do I do with this sport that I have invested so much into already, and have gained so much knowledge about? Do I quit golf entirely? Should I just resign to my fate as a shitty weekend-warrior golfer? Should I try to make some money through some coaching on the side? 

As you can imagine, I wish I had picked some other hobby back when I was younger. For a while, golf was a part of my identity. Now it is not, and I don't know what to do...

You stated that you never really loved golf passionately, and it was part of your identity growing up.

These are two good things. You can move on from them and just play recreationally when you have time.

My son's childhood classmate started in kindergarten as well and dedicates a large amount of time to golf. He's a bit better than you, but not enough to make golf a vocation as well. He's also going to college next year, and likely not playing past that?

Everyone has a point where they will likely stop doing something.

Golf defined you in a way that is intangible as well, all the things you learned to get better at golf apply to everything else as well.

Don't give it too much thought beyond that, and your post was very well written. You have that too.

[CarlSpackler]

I ask myself the same question after every double bogey. 

[Gator Hazard]

Pretty well covered by some posters here. I would only add that if you took away everything goal oriented with the game, and looked at it from that aspect, would it still be unappealing?  You definitely need a break from the game, even to fairly evaluate that question but I think if you came back and picked it up for its social aspects, its outdoor time, and just as a leisure hobby your feelings towards it may change. 

What you describe happens to a lot of young athletes who play a sport for a long time. A change will do you well. When you are ready, golf will still be there. 

Good luck.