Rude People With Whom You've Been Paired

[imsys0042 102]

I was actually looking for another thread that I recall that seemed right about this, but it mostly ended up being about something else...  anyway, I hate a very fun day a couple of weeks ago.  Well, not fun, everyone I was paired with was either crazy or rude for both rounds.   There have to be some good stories here.

First of all, the morning round was in my normal league.   There is a guy in it who has a full on setup he puts on his cart show-casing the political leanings of his choice (names and afflictions kept secret to avoid talking about actual politics).  But needless to say it can be multiple political flags and other assorted stuff that he brings.   Generally he doesn't talk about it, so it doesn't bother me.   However on this day, it all went south.   He came driving up and a number of people were high fiving him and telling him that having all that stuff is awesome and that hopefully it pisses people off.   Oh boy, this was starting to go down hill.   he proceeded to tell everyone that he sticks the flags thru his sunroof and drives around and laughs at people it offends.   Then someone in my group tells a pretty offensive story about a minority group of people.   So....I am keeping to myself mainly and trying to focus on my game and they had a discussion on the 8th tee along the lines of "those people" and "how ****ed up they are".   So that was a big downer.   In the end, I used my back nine to make sure that we didn't win anything by trying every crazy, aggressive shot I could and blowing up our score.  I was happy to get away from that round.

I didn't say anything to anyone, but the guy that runs the league saw me and my brother talking about it on Facebook and he called me up.   Didn't like what happened and was tired of incidents like that, so supposingly things are going to be different.   I was going to take a few weeks off to get away from it, so we'll see what happens.   And for the record, what was talked about around me was the opposite of my politics, but I would be horrified to talk like that around other people because you just come off as an a**.   I don't mind "I feel this way".   I hate "people are stupid for believing..."   this was all the latter.

 

However, it almost pales in comparison to the joy of my afternoon round.   I met up with a threesome on the third hole.  I asked to play, they said yes.  I think it was one of those "since we have a fourth, let's use his score for our game".  The last time that happened, I had someone tell me "you need to think about what you are doing and put in a good score because we are using your score for something".  Then they proceeded to give me advice they thought would help them.  Oh the joys when you are a single!  Actually that happened before then as well, when a hemp smoking knuckehead yelled at me "you need to help me find my ball, I have money on this!"  followed by "we need to use your score here, so don't **** this hole up!".

Anyway, the first guy hit, dribbled one and yelled a homo-phobic slur.  Loud.   I mean, really loud.   And we were off!   Here's some of the fun with that group:

1 -  more slurs on 4-5 more holes.   referring to #5 below, let's just say this guy had a problem getting it up off the tee....

2 -  hideously vile sexual comments that cannot be repeated here whenever more than a single person hit to the same area.

3 - everyone was taking their time, so I stepped up to the tee on one hole and put my tee in the ground.  I got this barked at me -->. "Since when does bogey beat par?!  Now you can hit this time, but you better not do it again!"   If this was a joke, then the delivery needs some serious work....

4 -  (my personal favorite). On a short par 4, I drove into a green side bunker, left my second in the bunker then put it close and made the putt.  I got asked "what did you have?" and I said "Par".  The guy looked at me and said "You better count again boy."  Again, if this was a joke, you might want to re-think your delivery and tone of voice.

5 -  on the 17th tee I was treated to what one of the guys wanted to do to his wife when he got home.   I suspect there is neither a wife, nor did he have the capability to do what he wanted.

 

That was all in a single day.   At least I think it was.   It seemed a lot longer.

[Patch 955]

Rude, obnoxious, arrogant, pompous, down right "A-Holes", I have golfed with all of those types. Usually I had a good quiet laugh at their expende. They paid their fees, the same as me, no need to let them ruin my day. 

The one I do remember was several years (decades)  ago. His name was Ted. Ted was a new to me golfer. Never seen him before.Ted kept talking sexy, non flattering stuff about the cart girl. Of course she was a good looking young college lady, but Teddy was a jerk. I was getting a little tired of his male cow fecal matter.

Just as I was about to say something to him, the young lady pulled up. We all went over, and purchased our beverages. Teddy stayed at the cart, talking to the young lady, as the rest of us headed for tee box. 

A few moments later the young lady yelled out "hey dad, this guy wants to give me $20 to show him my boobs. What do you think mom might say"? In my most calm, quiet voice, I replied " she would say tell him they are a pair, and they are $100 a piece". 

Well needless to say old Teddy was put in a most embarassing way. For the rest of the round, except for numerous apologies, he did not speak much. That, and his pretty decent golf game went to crap. 

The next trip around, we purchased more beverages, Teddy 's treat, and the young lady revcieved a very generous amount of tip monies from all of us. 

Pretty sure I have posted this event before. I will leave up to you, the readers to detetmine if indeed she really was my daughter. 

[imsys0042 102]

@Patch   I've told that story many times, I recall seeing it a while ago here.   It's hilarious!

[Piz 550]

Some people play golf for all the wrong reasons.

[boogielicious 3,169]

13 hours ago, imsys0042 said:

I was actually looking for another thread that I recall that seemed right about this, but it mostly ended up being about something else...  anyway, I hate a very fun day a couple of weeks ago.  Well, not fun, everyone I was paired with was either crazy or rude for both rounds.   There have to be some good stories here.

First of all, the morning round was in my normal league.   There is a guy in it who has a full on setup he puts on his cart show-casing the political leanings of his choice (names and afflictions kept secret to avoid talking about actual politics).  But needless to say it can be multiple political flags and other assorted stuff that he brings.   Generally he doesn't talk about it, so it doesn't bother me.   However on this day, it all went south.   He came driving up and a number of people were high fiving him and telling him that having all that stuff is awesome and that hopefully it pisses people off.   Oh boy, this was starting to go down hill.   he proceeded to tell everyone that he sticks the flags thru his sunroof and drives around and laughs at people it offends.   Then someone in my group tells a pretty offensive story about a minority group of people.   So....I am keeping to myself mainly and trying to focus on my game and they had a discussion on the 8th tee along the lines of "those people" and "how ****ed up they are".   So that was a big downer.   In the end, I used my back nine to make sure that we didn't win anything by trying every crazy, aggressive shot I could and blowing up our score.  I was happy to get away from that round.

I didn't say anything to anyone, but the guy that runs the league saw me and my brother talking about it on Facebook and he called me up.   Didn't like what happened and was tired of incidents like that, so supposingly things are going to be different.   I was going to take a few weeks off to get away from it, so we'll see what happens.   And for the record, what was talked about around me was the opposite of my politics, but I would be horrified to talk like that around other people because you just come off as an a**.   I don't mind "I feel this way".   I hate "people are stupid for believing..."   this was all the latter.

 

However, it almost pales in comparison to the joy of my afternoon round.   I met up with a threesome on the third hole.  I asked to play, they said yes.  I think it was one of those "since we have a fourth, let's use his score for our game".  The last time that happened, I had someone tell me "you need to think about what you are doing and put in a good score because we are using your score for something".  Then they proceeded to give me advice they thought would help them.  Oh the joys when you are a single!  Actually that happened before then as well, when a hemp smoking knuckehead yelled at me "you need to help me find my ball, I have money on this!"  followed by "we need to use your score here, so don't **** this hole up!".

Anyway, the first guy hit, dribbled one and yelled a homo-phobic slur.  Loud.   I mean, really loud.   And we were off!   Here's some of the fun with that group:

1 -  more slurs on 4-5 more holes.   referring to #5 below, let's just say this guy had a problem getting it up off the tee....

2 -  hideously vile sexual comments that cannot be repeated here whenever more than a single person hit to the same area.

3 - everyone was taking their time, so I stepped up to the tee on one hole and put my tee in the ground.  I got this barked at me -->. "Since when does bogey beat par?!  Now you can hit this time, but you better not do it again!"   If this was a joke, then the delivery needs some serious work....

4 -  (my personal favorite). On a short par 4, I drove into a green side bunker, left my second in the bunker then put it close and made the putt.  I got asked "what did you have?" and I said "Par".  The guy looked at me and said "You better count again boy."  Again, if this was a joke, you might want to re-think your delivery and tone of voice.

5 -  on the 17th tee I was treated to what one of the guys wanted to do to his wife when he got home.   I suspect there is neither a wife, nor did he have the capability to do what he wanted.

 

That was all in a single day.   At least I think it was.   It seemed a lot longer.

I am never one to hold my tongue. I would have made it clear that none of those topics was appropriate around me. If they made a fuss, I would either call a ranger or just let them play ahead and go back to being a single. If there was space in front, I would tell them I am playing ahead.

Thankfully, I rarely ever play with people like that. Most people I play with for the first time are really nice.

[NM Golf 561]

I pride myself on the fact I am nearly impossible to offend. Off color joke....no biggee. Political leanings different than mine...those are allowed last time I checked. Super obnoxious...unfortunate, but I can ignore anyone. I guess I am just not affected much by other people, I do me.

That being said, I can't remember ever being paired with someone who irritating. 99% of the people I get paired with are really nice guys.

[phillyk 547]

I’m pretty sure I told this elsewhere too. One of the rudest guys I’ve played with was in an US Open qualifier. He was a mini-tour player trying to earn a living. 

In some ways I get being upset if you get paired with a new guy who just made the handicap requirement and he blows up with a 90. Heck I was one of those guys that blew up several years ago. But this dude basically hates all golfers worse than him and he talked about it for several holes. We weren’t even paired with anybody bad, he was playing poorly from the get-go and wanted to talk trash about everyone except himself. 

He made a few birdies and a few more bogeys. By the 12th hole, he took out his phone to look at the leaderboard to see if he even had a chance if he managed to play really well from there in. Didnt matter that they explicitly said no phones, the guy doesn’t care.  13th hole, a short downhill par 3, he puts it above the hole in a spot you just can’t be in. He chips it and the ball rolls past the pin, down the steep hill and to 40ft away. He throws his club, walks to his ball wacks it with his putter and that was it, a chord broke.

I feel like he was rather pleasant to play with after that, because he finally wasn’t talking. 😂 oddly enough, I played well despite his behavior and attitude.

[Groucho Valentine 321]

Same for me too. The rudest person ive ever played with was also in US open qualifier. But i think he was a local PGA pro. Really poor attitude and interrogative. Complained about me wearing shorts. Would miss a putt and just stare at the hole for 30 seconds like it just sprung a beanstalk or something. 

I just straight up ignored him at some point even when he talked directly at me. He got the message by the back 9 and finally STFU. Dude shot like 85+ too. F'ing clown. I remember that day clearly because it was the time i shot 76 and still advanced to sectionals. 

[Mesa4234 1]

I recently played a round with a friend and we were paired with a father and son. I was running late and got to the 1st tee 2 minutes before our tee time. I didn't warm up (which I knew was going to happen), but as soon as I got there, the father points to me and says you go first, so I did. I promptly put the first ball into the woods, which I expected, and all the father could say was "out of bounds" in the most monotone voice. I wanted to turn around and says "thanks...I can see for myself" but being that it was the first hole, I decided against.

Turns out, he was a really nice guy, but the first couple holes I was waiting for him to make more comments. 

[imsys0042 102]

5 hours ago, boogielicious said:

I am never one to hold my tongue. I would have made it clear that none of those topics was appropriate around me. If they made a fuss, I would either call a ranger or just let them play ahead and go back to being a single. If there was space in front, I would tell them I am playing ahead.

Thankfully, I rarely ever play with people like that. Most people I play with for the first time are really nice.

Outside of a lot of parties and social engagements I find myself as the odd person out and don't like to cause issues when I feel outnumbered, as I was in both rounds.  There were a couple of times back in NJ where people threatened me physically (both times because they almost hit me with a ball, once someone else yelled something and once I yelled something back).

Although it does remind me of this little ditty from near the end of living in PA:

I was scheduled second off the tee on a Wednesday morning where there is very little play (it was a private course).   I rode up to the tee, saw a cart down the first fairway, so I teed off when they cleared.   Someone came up behind me and yelled something to me off the second tee.  I happened to be walking, so I was going to be a little slower.   I hit on the next hole, a par 3, and while walking down saw them rush up and one guy crosses his arms and looked like he was fuming.   I was behind the green when they drove down and barked at me "we are playing thru on the next tee" and drove off.   While driving back to the tee, the driver was cursing me out big-time.   When they passed me on the next hole, they stopped and the driver made sure to lay into me again about how he reserved a time and I was jumping in front of him, which I didn't understand.  At the turn I went into the pro shop and complained.

Anyway, I finished my 18 and was in the bar and he comes in trying to apologize and say he didn't understand.   Turns out someone jumped ahead of both of us, so when I got to the tee and saw someone I thought I was in the right position, being second.   He tried to pass it off as one thing, but my response was "Is that how you treat someone under any circumstances?"

 

[dagolfer18 106]

Okay, so most of the people I’ve joined or who have joined me on the golf course are really nice and are a joy to play with. But there was one person who I remember quite clearly who was just plain rude. I was playing as a walking single through the 10th hole, and teeing up on 11, a riding single hit down to the 10th green. He pulled up  and I offered to let him play with me, which he accepted. First, on 11 green, he picks up a 2ft putt. Being that I’m on our school team and I never do gimmes, I said “That’s not good.” He replied, “What?! You’re supposed to give me that!” He was ticked off at me for the next few holes. Then we got to 16, and there was a line of storm clouds in the distance, probably an hour or so away. But he wanted to get home as quickly as possible, so he rushed his shots and would let let me take my time on mine, ignorant of the fact that I was getting really tired. By the time we got to 18, I was exhausted after being rushed around the last three holes. 

[mcanadiens 568]

2 hours ago, dagolfer18 said:

First, on 11 green, he picks up a 2ft putt. Being that I’m on our school team and I never do gimmes, I said “That’s not good.” He replied, “What?! You’re supposed to give me that!” He was ticked off at me for the next few holes.

If someone just casually joined me while I was playing as a single, I wouldn't care if he putted out or not.

Did you put money on the result?

 

[klineka 897]

2 hours ago, dagolfer18 said:

 First, on 11 green, he picks up a 2ft putt. Being that I’m on our school team and I never do gimmes, I said “That’s not good.”

Just because you don't do gimmes doesn't mean you have the right to tell other people how to play the game. 

Unless you two were playing for money, he did nothing wrong in that situation.

2 hours ago, dagolfer18 said:

Then we got to 16, and there was a line of storm clouds in the distance, probably an hour or so away. But he wanted to get home as quickly as possible, so he rushed his shots and would let let me take my time on mine, ignorant of the fact that I was getting really tired. By the time we got to 18, I was exhausted after being rushed around the last three holes. 

Again, what's the issue here? He played his shots quickly but let you play your shots at your own pace. I don't see anything wrong with that.

You're claiming someone was plain rude who picked up a 2 foot putt and played quickly to finish before a storm while still allowing you to play at your own pace? 

Edited September 3, 2019 by klineka

[DennisMiller 32]

I've played with the same selection of guys for so many years now, I could only relate stories that I was told. I guess I'm lucky that way. The closest I can come is a general mention of one friend who constantly wastes time with no regard for keeping up with out group or whether anyone is waiting behind him, looking for balls at the edges of the canals and lakes on the course we frequent. We've stopped calling him.

The best story I've heard was from a friend who really has a very low tolerance for BS or rudeness on the course. He went to play alone one day and was paired with some guy from out of town. The guy was a real jerk and on the 14th hole, the farthest place away from the clubhouse, my friend simply took the other guy's bag of the cart and drove in. He turned in the cart, told the guys in the shop what he had done to prepare them for this jerk to complain, then was long gone before the guy walked in.

I heard later the guy just went straight to his car and never said a word. Fortunately for all concerned, he's never been seen at that course again.

About 20 years ago, we used to play with a guy who cheated right out in the open and didn't care. Mulligans didn't count. Penalty strokes didn't count. He would take a shot over, but if it was better, he'd play it instead of his original ball. A putt he might give himself could be 6' long. And of course, he couldn't count in the first place. He would easily shoot over 100, but card something in the low 80s. Add to all that a simple lack of courtesy, talking on his phone while we tried to hit, walking in our line and being more in the way than anyone needs to be.

Where we drew the line was when he started telling people that he had beaten me and our other friend, both of whom had played and scored honestly. We decided not to call him again and I've only seen him once in those 20 years since. His brother is a friend and once asked me why I didn't play golf with him anymore. I told him the truth.

[Zippo 178]

1 hour ago, klineka said:

Unless you two were playing for money, he did nothing wrong in that situation.

4 hours ago, dagolfer18 said:

Then we got to 16, and there was a line of storm clouds in the distance, probably an hour or so away. But he wanted to get home as quickly as possible, so he rushed his shots and would let let me take my time on mine, ignorant of the fact that I was getting really tired. By the time we got to 18, I was exhausted after being rushed around the last three holes. 

Again, what's the issue here? He played his shots quickly but let you play your shots at your own pace. I don't see anything wrong with that.

You're claiming someone was plain rude who picked up a 2 foot putt and played quickly to finish before a storm while still allowing you to play at your own pace? 

@klineka I think maybe @dagolfer mistyped and possibly meant to type, "would not let me" above where I highlighted in bold.

[Yukari 192]

4 hours ago, dagolfer18 said:

... First, on 11 green, he picks up a 2ft putt. Being that I’m on our school team and I never do gimmes, I said “That’s not good.” ...

As others have said, if there is nothing on the line, you should NOT have said anything.  It is not your place to point out the obvious.  It could get ugly.  In fact, you may have been "that guy" in this instance.

When I play with strangers, I don't care how they play or keep score as long as they keep pace with the group in front.  It is not my business to police how others play, unless I have some $ on the line.

Edited September 3, 2019 by Yukari

[ghalfaire 98]

I have to admit my experiences have been 99.9% good in getting teamed up with someone when I am out single.  However, the few times it wasn't I just keep my mouth shut pretty much and avoid talking about controversial subject.  I try to stick to playing golf with strangers and if challenged to comment by the other player on some controversial subject, I would say something like "I'll have to think about that".  That usually closes the subject. 

[JxQx 60]

I've never had any issues with rude pairings only one odd situation (I play about 95% of my golf as a single).

I was playing alone and another single came up behind me in a cart ( I was walking) and I asked if he would like to join in since there were a couple of foursomes in front of us which he accepted. On the first hole we play which is a par 3 he looks at my bag and proceeds to tell me that I should not play blades and should get game improvement irons because it'll make the game easier etc. Which I replay that I'm not all that interested and that I have actually played them before and didn't like them. We continue to play just talking here and there until we come up to the 9th hole where he says "That he should grab my number so we could potentially play in a few scrambles" or something along those lines, which I say is fine. Then he says we should play this last hole for $5, which I decline and tell him I don't have any cash on me. He then says well you can just owe me if you lose, which I tell him I'm not all that interested but he can do what he wants. We play the hole I hit a great drive and he pulls his behind some trees. I hit the green and make a two put par. He ends up punching out and hitting a wedge to somewhere around 12ft. I'm in for par at that point and he looks at me and says "you're not going to give this to me". I respond with "no, that's all of 12ft." He proceeds to miss the putt, picks up his ball and just walks off the green. I say "It was nice playing with you" and he does a sort of wave thing and drives off.

I know he was trying to just hustle me out of a little money but I thought he'd at least shake my hand or have some sort of "good game" at the end of the round.