The "Stop Conning Yourself" Thread

[iacas]

Today a golfer visited us at Chautauqua Golf Club. This golfer had one of the worst swings we'd ever seen (fortunately, he was actually Dave's student…) and yet, when asked, said that he was a 12 handicap.

"Yeah, maybe on the front nine," we joked.

The golfer took some more swings.

"Actually, maybe per hole…" we said.

The golfer was, to be short about it, conning himself. On no planet was this golfer a 12 handicap. He wasn't a 12 handicapper at mini golf. Or disc golf. Or Tiger Woods on the Xbox.

A lot of golfers con themselves. Whether they tell themselves they're great ball strikers or that they have a great short game, or that if they just had a better mental game they'd be scratch… Golfers almost all con themselves about something .

Dave and I say - and live by - the idea of "not conning ourselves." We don't do it as instructors, as golfers, and hopefully not too much as fathers, husbands… human beings. Far too often people will con themselves into some awfully strange beliefs. That they're not lacking something, or that they're better at something than they really are. That their experiences matter more than other people's, or are generalized and apply to more than just themselves.

So… this thread is about being honest with yourself. Nobody here really knows anyone else's golf game, so we can't call you out. But you can call yourself out.

The purpose of this thread is to do just that: to call yourself out. Really give your game a good hard honest look, and if you decide that you've been conning yourself, post about it here. Admit it. It'll be a bit like saying "Hi, I'm Bob, and I'm an alcoholic." Admitting the truth is the first step to doing something about it.

So have at it. Admit the thing that you've been conning yourself. Maybe you don't practice as diligently as you should. Maybe you are not the ball striking master that you think you are. Maybe you lose concentration too often. Maybe you drink too many beers to play your best golf.

Whatever it is… Admit it. Cleanse the soul.

It'll do you wonders.

[JonMA1]

I don't con myself about being good - the scorecard doesn't lie - but I often feel as though my swing is getting better when it clearly is not.

I'm also coming to the realization that even though I put in more practice hours than 99% of the golfing population, I'm conning myself when I believe it's the right kind of practice.

[Duff McGee]

This was a few weeks ago. This is my first year back golfing since I was a teen. From the moment I stepped onto the course this spring, the words "chipping is by far the best part of my game" was muttered multiple times per round. I repeated this lie (unbeknownst to me at the time) until about 2 weeks ago. It suddenly one day dawned on me that chipping was probably actually THE WORST part of my game. All my life I had been comparing my chipping to the average crappy weekend warrior 100+ shooter when it came to chipping. I thought I had such great touch because of compliments on my chipping over the years. But the compliments weren't from good golfers. I thought I was good because I rarely ever duffed or bladed shots around the green. My pretty little rainbows were actually coming nowhere near close enough to get up and down. So I've spent a crazy amount of time the last few weeks and am starting to finally get a few up and downs per round. Honesty is the best policy. :)

[Hatchman]

A good thread. I think I am at my decline in physical abilities and need to work a little extra on some of the skills. Not good but not bad. A get by golfer that depending on type of course scores accordingly. Would like to improve this year on my approach shots.

[mvmac]

I was conning myself for years when I was overly concerned about a certain position in my golf swing (it wasn't A7 ). I was obsessed about changing it because I didn't like the way it looked and thought I "would have it" once I fixed it.

About two years ago I changed my approach and stopped worrying about it and focused more on what I needed to do to make a functional swing (priorities). Since then my scoring/ballstriking has improved and that position is the best it's ever been (lucky result).

A lot of golfers con themselves. Whether they tell themselves they're great ball strikers or that they have a great short game, or that if they just had a better mental game they'd be scratch… Golfers almost all con themselves about something.

And even tour players can fall into conning themselves. Whether it's sticking with the wrong swing instructor or making an equipment change or blaming their caddy for a bad shot.

Dave and I say - and live by - the idea of "not conning ourselves." We don't do it as instructors, as golfers, and hopefully not too much as fathers, husbands… human beings.

Yep, I can attest to this. It's called Golf Evolution for a reason

[Shindig]

Oh boy. I conned myself for years thinking I was a good ball striker. Readers know the section of LSW I'm referencing -- if the authors didn't pull my comments directly, they must have found someone who posted the same things I did. I went from my starter set to Mizuno MP-57s as a high teens / low 20s handicap because I had just broken 90, rarely sliced my irons, and convinced myself I was good at hitting irons. You know, for those... maybe two GIR I had per round (by contrast, I had eight today -- GI irons -- and still don't think I'm a good ball striker, but I'm far better than I was seven years ago when I bought the set I'm referencing). I attributed my missed greens to missed concentration, or pulling the wrong club, or an imperfect lie (if only I didn't play municipal courses!)... couldn't have anything to do with my swing. I attributed my poor scores to poor putting (I keep missing inside 10'!). Or that I "went for a sucker pin." That did feel good. I think I've said it before. Feels good to type it out again.

[Cupcakus]

I have a problem, and I think almost all of us have this problem, thinking I'm so good on the range and then terrible on the course. Its so easy to forget that huge slice or shank on the range when you can just grab another ball and hit a good one right after, on the course you will remember that bad shot all day as you have to walk over there and play it. I have made it a point to track my bad shots on the range, try to remember them more than the good ones so I can assess the risk of a particular club on the course.

[nevets88]

It's like AA. You have to admit you have a problem to fix it. My name is Al, and I suck at golf. It's been 5 years since I last hit a push draw. (Sympathetic tone) Hi Al! With high fps video, radar and no shortage of people out there on the interwebs who will tell you what they really think，you'd think it'd be more difficult to self con.

[bste]

Hi, My name is Brian, and I suck at golf.

Been trying to buy a Tee shot since I started to golf, approximately six years ago.

My irons are the not much better, but since moving to the most forward tees I have shorter approach shots, less horrendous second shots.

My NGir shots are usually close enough to keep me out of three putt range.

Oh yea and I'm cheap and lazy, So.........

A lot to work on.

[Aflighter]

Hi, my name is Terry and I suck at golf.My putting that has been 90percent bad is actually 99 percent bad.My driving ive always said is as straight as anyone isnt all that because it only goes 220yds.My iron play is atrocious and actually ive always admitted that so its not all conning myself.

[Lihu]

I'm Lihu, I've never said I'm good at any part of golf, and I'm not. Some days it just seems a little less bad than others.

I don't practice as diligently as I should, but that's changing as of today! This time for real, grrr.

I am barely learning what it feels like to strike the ball with one decent shot out of hundreds (for my current level).

"Maybe you lose concentration too often." -Yes!

"Maybe you drink too many beers to play your best golf." Not lately, but the temptation is there just to make myself feel better about me playing this awfully difficult game. That would just be conning myself more, though.

5 years into it and I'm barely scraping the surface of playing reasonable golf. Waiting for my breakthrough. . . In the meantime, better attempts at proper practice.

I've been conning myself about understanding what is proper practice. (Actually not, I never claimed to know what is proper practice, I'm still not really understanding what is being suggested to me either. That's something I'll work on trying to do before attempting "proper" practice again.)

[boogielicious]

I have never deluded myself into thinking I am a good golfer. I know I am better than most of they friends I play with, but that is only because of their relative ability. I have had the mindset that I could improve because I have become a good student in golf with the help of this site, Erik and Mike and my Evolvr instructors. But I have also come to the realization that my physical stills are declining due to wear and tear, age, etc. Some of these issues do affect my swing and I workout to slow the decline. But they are limiters. My goal now is to continue to work at becoming better while accepting my physical ability. Oh, and have fun playing golf. I do get down on myself for bad shots, but that is just part of my personality of trying to be the best I can be at whatever I am doing. I'll never change that.

[Cali Ace]

I may be conning myself in my 5 yr plan in this sport.Breaking 80 was the main one but what I get out of it is awesome to me. It seems like a tranquil,controlled sport on the outside but total chaos in the ring.

[bubble]

I have a 4.6 handicap....

and also the worst swing,  probably 10 times worst than this threads example.

the truth is scoring in Golf is easy if you just push the ball with what you have. Chip up to difficult holes and take bogey at worst, maybe birdie a short hole here and there or get lucky.

I try to change my swing with a pro and I hit it a lot better but if I look back the swing seams the same. AWFULL.

My con is that I belive I have changed with hard work but have to admit I'm really awfull at the atempt as the last 2 years have given almost no visual result. (really good scoring thought).

[Aflighter]

I have a 4.6 handicap.... and also the worst swing,  probably 10 times worst than this threads example. the truth is scoring in Golf is easy if you just push the ball with what you have. Chip up to difficult holes and take bogey at worst, maybe birdie a short hole here and there or get lucky. I try to change my swing with a pro and I hit it a lot better but if I look back the swing seams the same. AWFULL. My con is that I belive I have changed with hard work but have to admit I'm really awfull at the atempt as the last 2 years have given almost no visual result. (really good scoring thought).

I think you are conning yourself saying your swing is the worst since you have a 4.6 hcp.Clearly it cant be that bad to be that good.

[Unforgiven93]

I've been thinking about what I "con" myself with... And the only thing I can come up with is playing weekend rules. I feel bad because I don't always play 100% by the rules when I play with my dad or friends who aren't that good. I try to just play how they play. My handicap is made up of 80% tournament rounds though, so that is mostly legit. I may just start only posting tournament rounds. I actually play better in tournaments usually. Actually I was curious so I just put in my tournaments from this summer and calculated a handicap using just those... (11 rounds) and it came out +2.1! So I don't feel bad anymore.

[nevets88]

I'm guilty of many cons. The range rat con. The thinking/over thinking con. Have been playing more and trying hard to lobotomize myself. You can't completely lose your personality though.

[Patch]

I think sometimes conning yourself, and lying to yourself are the same thing. Might want to call it what it is. As posted above, the scorecard does all the talking with regards to how well a golfer plays "their"  game. Then again if a golfer lies on their score card, then that score card does some more talking as to the integrity of that golfer. Me I put the correct scores down, no matter how poor they may be.

Now, I don't count the scores when I golf left handed, which is a swing change I am trying to accomplish at this time. I am probably a 20+ hdcp left handed. When we get some cooler weather out here in the desert, I will be able to spend more time playing/practicing left handed. I know I will never be as good left handed as I am now, currently playing right handed.

I am not a good driver of the ball anymore, and anything approach shot over 170 yards is a challenge for me. I just don't have the needed distance anymore. The rhythm, timing, and speed of my swing is geared for accuracy, not distance. Because of being distance challenged, I have to rely on my short game. I put a lot of time in practicing my short game, and because of that practice regimen, I have a pretty decent short game.

A side from personally conning one's self, I think the biggest con in golf is all the bad instruction that is being made available to golfers. There are way too many charlatans out there trying to do the money grab thing.

In reality, I am just a golfer who plays the game just for the relaxing, entertaining  fun it gives me. Don't think that will ever change for me.