Need Some Advice on Playing Golf With Higher Handicappers

[Rayrobinson]

Hi guys

i play off two and whilst on the course I don’t say much , I’m calm and polite but like to keep myself to myself.

at our club on club champs day the first days format is always a low, medium and high grouping.

here is where I then have problems 

1. Constant talking , sometimes right up yo when I set up over the ball.

2. Always asking directly after the hole is completed ‘what did you have there’.

3. Walking around the green whilst I’m putting.

now these guys aren’t new to the game but I just find that anyone if 12 or more just doesn’t understand or respect the game like the lower handicapped .

 

i never ask anyone their score after a hole because I know what they had and it drives me crazy when they need to say the whole groups numbers like ‘ two 3’s and 5’ . Be quiet and let us play.

lets just say it doe st help my game . Any thoughts or hell to manage would be greatly appreciated.

[dennyjones]

I play once a week with high handicap people.    They are in their mid 70 and today we played in about 3:30.    They have been taught golf etiquette.   We have friendly conversation during the round but when it's time to swing, it's quiet and motionless.   Asking the score is harmless IMO.   The score needs to be correct and I see no harm in making sure it's correct.

I can see two possible solutions.   Help them with their etiquette or find another group.    You can't blame poor etiquette on all high handicaps although I suspect that that is the norm.

[David in FL]

Toughen up.

Sorry, but if little things like that are getting under your skin, you’re going to struggle if   it comes down to the wire and there’s any real pressure.

Use the little annoyances as a means to prove to yourself, your own mental toughness.

[Kalnoky]

Tell them to come play with me instead. Seems like everyone I play with a single-digit 'capper and they kick my buns all the way around the course. Might be nice to win once in a while.

[colin007]

44 minutes ago, Rayrobinson said:

Now these guys aren’t new to the game but I just find that anyone if 12 or more just doesn’t understand or respect the game like the lower handicapped .

I just want to clarify....are you actually saying that less skilled players don't understand or respect the game as much as a better player - like you - does?

W.

T.

F.

[Patch]

Two possible solutions.

One is to get use to it, and just play your game.

Two is don't be bashful, and voice your concerns to those who are bothering you.

If "two" is unacceptable, then you are stuck with "one", and should move on with your game.

 

 

[BobC]

My answer would be to “grow up”, as long as they are not slow players they are just trying to enjoy the game, albeit without your talent. 

[Vinsk]

26 minutes ago, colin007 said:

I just want to clarify....are you actually saying that less skilled players don't understand or respect the game as much as a better player - like you - does?

W.

T.

F.

I believe he's saying 'he finds' it that way.

[MarvChamp]

On 

21 minutes ago, Vinsk said:

I believe he's saying 'he finds' it that way.

Or maybe just arrogant. Kinda. Maybe. Best, -Marv

[Moxley]

1 hour ago, Rayrobinson said:

Hi guys

i play off two and whilst on the course I don’t say much , I’m calm and polite but like to keep myself to myself.

at our club on club champs day the first days format is always a low, medium and high grouping.

here is where I then have problems 

1. Constant talking , sometimes right up yo when I set up over the ball.

2. Always asking directly after the hole is completed ‘what did you have there’.

3. Walking around the green whilst I’m putting.

now these guys aren’t new to the game but I just find that anyone if 12 or more just doesn’t understand or respect the game like the lower handicapped .

 

i never ask anyone their score after a hole because I know what they had and it drives me crazy when they need to say the whole groups numbers like ‘ two 3’s and 5’ . Be quiet and let us play.

lets just say it doe st help my game . Any thoughts or hell to manage would be greatly appreciated.

 

Try and be more tolerant - this is a game , and the beauty of Golf is that it allows people of all levels to enjoy competing. People are different, not all players will take it as seriously as you do, and consider that they might not have enjoyed playing with you. 

You'll also find this in every game - I play poker sometimes with some guys - one guy always annoyed if somebody doesn't burn cards in the correct way, nobody else cares. A couple of guys sometimes do stuff like calling out of turn, that will annoy more of us, but we generally make a joke of it, or else we wouldn't all be able to play together. 

[ScouseJohnny]

Quote

but I just find that anyone if 12 or more just doesn’t understand or respect the game like the lower handicapped

I have played golf with 28 handicaps who played to their handicap and respected golf etiquette perfectly.

I have also played with quite a few single figure handicap arseholes. Sometimes, there's nothing worse than being paired with a "good golfer" when he's "just having a bad day." It makes you wish you'd been paired with a 28 handicap instead...

Edited August 23, 2018 by ScouseJohnny

[RussUK]

12 hours ago, Rayrobinson said:

Hi guys

i play off two and whilst on the course I don’t say much , I’m calm and polite but like to keep myself to myself.

at our club on club champs day the first days format is always a low, medium and high grouping.

here is where I then have problems 

1. Constant talking , sometimes right up yo when I set up over the ball.

2. Always asking directly after the hole is completed ‘what did you have there’.

3. Walking around the green whilst I’m putting.

now these guys aren’t new to the game but I just find that anyone if 12 or more just doesn’t understand or respect the game like the lower handicapped .

 

i never ask anyone their score after a hole because I know what they had and it drives me crazy when they need to say the whole groups numbers like ‘ two 3’s and 5’ . Be quiet and let us play.

lets just say it doe st help my game . Any thoughts or hell to manage would be greatly appreciated.

For a start golf is often a sociable game (as it was originally intended to be) so people are going to talk. It's something you will have to learn to block out or deal with.

I know you say you are calm and polite but dont say much but put yourself in their shoes as they may think you are being stand-offish with them.

For point 1 of your post, i cant see a problem providing they stop talking when you have addressed the ball. Same thing happens on the the PGA etc. crowd talk until the "quiet please" signs are held up. As a 2 hcp you are obviously a good golfer so distractions like this should'nt really bother you. Maybe they dont and its just that you getting annoyed affects you more?

2. They are asking your score after the hole because they are being polite and taking an interest in your game.

3. Are the directly in your line of sight? If your eyes are over the ball surely you wouldnt see them much?

The point highlighted in bold i found a little offensive. I have a handicap higher than 12 and i understand and respect the game just as much as many lowe handicap players. Just because you have experienced that please dont tar all us higher hcp players with the same brush.

I dont mean any of the above to cause offence.

[Valleygolfer]

You already come off moderately impersonal so just tell them to cut the crap or just wait until they stop moving around. I have a playing partner that yaps all the way to the point you are about to hit the ball and then start talking immediately after impact. That gets old when it is a regular playing partner but if these guys are random, just wait them out.

As for the score asking, just get over that already. Not everyone counts everyone else's strokes.

If it is gamesmanship, you will just have to figure out how to turn it into white noise. I play with a lot of random people and some do move around will I am putting or stand directly across for the read and some days it bothers me and so it has no effect. I have no idea why.

[rehmwa]

This isn't rocket science.  Either suck it up and don't allow it to affect you (that's a big win in focus frankly), or give them exactly what you are asking for - courtesy.  Be nice and KINDLY tell them how you'd like to be treated (at least at first).  Most of the time, people like this are happy to comply as long as it's asked nice.  If it's asked in anger or from a position of self superiority, you can bet it'll get worse on purpose.  that gets you nowhere.  It amazes me how many people are unable to do this in a genuine way.

(or, wait and let it boil inside until you just can't take it any more and blow up at the next innocent person who's trying to just be friendly.)

and, this might happen on every single round you play if you are super sensitive about it.  remember, even if you've experienced it 100 times, that new person you just met, this is the first time they've played with you.  They don't deserve any abuse for the frustration the previous 99 people gave you.

as for the 'over 12 handicap' thing - bullshit

What was that Lee Travino thing?  he liked to talk.  One time another player noted on the 1st tee to him "Hey, Lee, I don't much like to talk during rounds."  Lee responded "No problem, I'll talk, you listen".

[Eric C]

All it would take would be for you to say "would you mind not moving around whilst I'm putting, thank you" one time to solve that problem, and perhaps you achieve a teaching moment at the same time.  It immediately sets the tone that you want to focus on your game and not jibber-jabber, and almost nobody is offended so long as you avoid being a dick about it.  On the contrary, most people feel bad for having shown poor etiquette. 

As for the score thing, I also find it annoying when people ask about my score so my stock answer the very first time it happens is "I'm keeping my own card, thanks".  It let's the person off the hook without having to be rude, and solves the problem.

Just be direct without being an ass - like the over 12 hcp thing.  Just because you're a better golfer than me doesn't mean that you respect the game or know more about it than me.

Edited August 24, 2018 by Eric C
Forgot to give him shit for the 12 hcp comment

[NJpatbee]

You will find peace when you only play solo or with other low cappers that take their game more seriously than they should.  As a 16 HCP I was taught golf etiquette and respect at a young age (although I did not start playing seriously until age 40) so please do not make such rash assumptions regarding players with less ability than yourself.  I also suspect your entire post was a troll.

[rehmwa]

It's been awhile since we've resurrected the "SUCK IT UP CUPCAKE" theme in posts.

is now a good time for that?

[NM Golf]

I am more tolerant than you, but as some others have said, communicate what you expect from them. If they are moving or standing in the wrong place tell them. How else will they learn? As far as them asking for your score, I would rather they do that than get it wrong.

2 hours ago, Eric C said:

As for the score thing, I also find it annoying when people ask about my score so my stock answer the very first time it happens is "I'm keeping my own card, thanks". 

How is someone wanting to correctly record your score annoying? I can't tell if this in an official competition, but if it is your advice above in a no-no.