Guy told me to go " F" myself at the driving range last weekend.

[Abu3baid]

Well, since you started the thread you are opening your self up for criticism as well.

Childish? a good way to get decked? Ok, where's the childish comment about the jerk off who told me to go f myself?

The childish part is you getting in the guys face.. Obviously he's not right in the head to say that.. The one credit I give you is that you were able to control your self enough to not hit him I guess, which some hot heads would do.

You afraid to get Decked? That's what I was giving him his chance to do.

I'm sure it has nothing to do with being afraid or not..  why would I ever put my self in a situation where that is even a slight possibility?  Unless someone is a threat to my wife and kids, I'm not going to put my self in that situation.  Not very smart to give someone a chance to deck you don't you think?  what if he did and knocked you out cold?  How smart would you feel when you wake up 10 minutes later and the guy is gone?

Where I come from, getting decked is preferable to letting some punk insult you. Win or lose is secondary.

Where do you come from?  The ghetto?  come on man.. I would rather someone insult me all day than getting touched.. sticks and stones and what not..  Yes, because there is no winning or losing when you get into a fight.. even if you win you are a loser (unless in special circumstances where fighting is the only way of survival or protection of family and so on)

You say it's a good way to get decked, but judging by your post I doubt you would deck somebody.

You are right, I wouldn't deck anyone nor would I say what that guy said to you.. But, there is no need to puff your chest out on a golf forum.. I mean really come on.. do you know how silly this sounds to others?  Golfers aren't really well known for being these macho tough guys who pick fights with people and are willing to deck others (for stupid little reasons).. Pick up football, or find an MMA forum and they will welcome you in with open arms :)

Anyway, all is well that ends well.. please don't take any of the above posts of mine personally, and thankfully I am an expat so I don't have to worry about you chasing me down!  (joking.. please don't get upset)

[mailman]

Madolive, Sadly looking for useful insight in to situations like this on this forum is similar to a fat chick going to a smarties factory to shed 20 or 30 kilos. You just aren't going to get any useful support! :) There are lots of woulda, coulda,coulda, shouldas in situations like this but the best shoulda you have just learnt is to keep stuff like this to yourself and your closest friends because as you have already seen more a few here have completely ignored the match that ignited this and have instead focussed on your reaction to the provocation. Me, I would have just moved on and then written to the course later complaining about the bevahiour of its members and how you wouldn't go back again (or something like that). If these guys truly cared about their customers they would write back apologising and maybe even offer you a free round of golf. Win-win for everyone :) Regards Mailman

[Abu3baid]

Madolive,

Sadly looking for useful insight in to situations like this on this forum is similar to a fat chick going to a smarties factory to shed 20 or 30 kilos. You just aren't going to get any useful support! :)

There are lots of woulda, coulda,coulda, shouldas in situations like this but the best shoulda you have just learnt is to keep stuff like this to yourself and your closest friends because as you have already seen more a few here have completely ignored the match that ignited this and have instead focussed on your reaction to the provocation.

Regards

Mailman

no. we didn't ignore the match at all actually.. that other person is not here to defend themselves either.  Everyone I think would agree that what the other guy did by saying "go f* yourself* was a real jerk thing to do.  However, we can only have a conversation with the person who is telling the story, and yes we are going to comment on the reaction!  This is because we are trying to understand his thought process and state of mind then and now.. When he says stuff like

Where I come from, getting decked is preferable to letting some punk insult you. Win or lose is secondary.

What do you expect us to say?  I have to question this persons judgement, and if the story I am getting is really the whole story.. (since we can't actually verify it)

By the way, your reaction would have been a good one, and I would highly recommend it as well!  However, I don't think it is fair that you question the support a lot of people on the forum gives to others.. I think it is only given in situations that actually warrant support, but who wants to support 1 bad action over another?  no one!

[14ledo81]

Where I come from, getting decked is preferable to letting some punk insult you. Win or lose is secondary.

Really?? Not sure what this says about me (or where I come from), but I will take insults over getting decked any day of the week. BTW, I have been threatened to be decked (face punching he called it) by a really big guy. I was .....very scared. If I had not known it before, I was certainly reassured of it then, getting decked is very bad...insults...not so bad.

[Mr. Desmond]

I go to the nearest open stall and dump my bucket. Guy next to me says that he's saving the stall for his wife, ok I'm ok with that, but now I've got to pick up the balls I dumped, I muttered something like Jesus crist, ( Lord I apologize) and bend down and start picking up my balls and the guy tells me to go Fu%$k Myself.

I was not believing my ears, I ask him if he just told me to f myself.

Without waiting for an answer I walked up to about 6 inches from him looked into his terrified eyes and said f you and walked away, I was so mad I was shaking as I walked away.

Took me awhile to calm down

Yes, the guy should have thrown a couple of clubs and a few balls in the stall to show it was taken; or

Realizing his error, should have shared his stall with his wife until you left, or

said something like "excuse me, do  you mind if ..."

He apparently had no empathy for you as you collected your golf balls.

Yes, he made the mistake of uttering an F Bomb.

You made the error, I believe, of muttering the "JC", (we did not hear how it was delivered) and then getting in his face after the F bomb.

Perhaps one response would have been "Seriously? Let's review what happened here ... " and then review what happened and a more appropriate response by him like "Again I apologize..."

If he would have F bombed you further, I'd walk away. Apparently, the guy has a mental issue ... either permanent or temporary, caused by who knows what. You may have noticed that guys don't talk a lot around the range, even with friends (respecting others who are practicing), can be defensive when approached, and on the course, many have inappropriate responses to their slow play. It's similar to road rage.

You never know what you're getting out there. I find the best approach is to always keep your sense of humor and walk away in these types of situations.

[billchao]

Both parties made mistakes here. I think we should just be happy that nobody got hurt and move along, folks.

[saevel25]

Played a nice course in Stockton this weekend, about an hour from my house. Regular foursome, it was going to be a good day.

I check in and grab a club and head for the driving range to loosen up. I go to the nearest open stall and dump my bucket. Guy next to me says that he's saving the stall for his wife, ok I'm ok with that, but now I've got to pick up the balls I dumped, I muttered something like Jesus crist,

Just give the guy the benefit of the doubt on saving that stall for his wife. No need to go muttering or saying something snarky like that.

I get it, the guy retaliated by saying, "go F*** yourself" or something. In the end you were in the wrong as well as he.

Just like he shouldn't have said that, you shouldn't have instigated (even if you intended to or not) in the first place.

I was not believing my ears, I ask him if he just told me to f myself. Without waiting for an answer I walked up to about 6 inches from him looked into his terrified eyes and said f you and walked away, I was so mad I was shaking as I walked away.

Again, walk away. No need to get in someone's grill. That is just all sorts of stupid. Take the higher road on this. To me all you did was just make yourself out to be a punk. It sounds like you get enjoyment out of throwing your weight around.

Why does that matter? I am sure he heard it, it wasn't directed at him. It certainly didn't warrant telling me to fuc myself.

Shoes on the other foot, I would've apologized for telling him it was saved  after he dumped his balls on the ground.

You don't have to buy it.

Sure it was. You said it as a reaction to something he did.

No, it didn't warrant him to tell you to go F*** yourself. On the same, it didn't warrant you going all up in his grill either. If you are willing to stand here and say what the guy should or shouldn't have said. You should be able to see you shouldn't have done some things as well.

Childish? a good way to get decked? Ok, where's the childish comment about the jerk off who told me to go f myself?

You afraid to get Decked? That's what I was giving him his chance to do.

Where I come from, getting decked is preferable to letting some punk insult you. Win or lose is secondary.

You say it's a good way to get decked, but judging by your post I doubt you would deck somebody.

Well, around here, telling someone to F off, would have been decked in a heart beat vs getting up in his face.  As they say..thems fighten words..

That is all sorts of stupid. I rather let someone say that then get into a fight. I rather take the high road knowing I am the better person then they are. I couldn't care less what they think about me.

If it is a matter of respect, that is not the type of respect I want earned. That is just thuggish BS in my opinion.

[ghalfaire]

Will I believe civility should rule in cases like this.  If the fellow who was saving the stall was polite I don't see the need for any comment back other than "no problem I'll move over a stall or two".  "Getting in someone's face" isn't a good idea these days as getting yourself "decked" is the least of what can happen if the other individual feels threatened.

[Gunther]

I'm with Mad Olive to some degree here. He wasn't cussing at the dude but at the situation of having to pick up his balls. That frustration doesn't always stay under your breath, trust me, I know. The dude should have apologized. If he'd have told me to f off, I probably would have explained I wasn't cussing at him but not sure either. Already pissed then someone tells me to f off. Like to think I'd handle it well but I've gone both ways in that situation. Mad Olive walked away so all good in the end. All I know about Stockton I learned on Sons of Anarchy so I probably would have kept my mouth shut.

[nevets88]

If there were other spots open, I'd move but I'd as tactfully as possible say, you should put a club on the stall to indicate it was taken before I emptied my bucket. There's no indication you saved this spot for someone. If there were no spots open I'd say sorry. I'm using this spot, there's no indication blah blah blah...

[Slice of Life]

Uh… yes.

Agreed. Muttering "Jesus Christ" is starting the altercation. Should he have told you to go F yourself? No, probably not...but you could have just as easily packed up your balls and walked away calling him a lowlife scumbag in your head.

Passive aggressive behavior usually results in instances like this...and if someone I don't know and just told to go F themselves walks up within 6" of me, they're getting decked out of proactive self-defense. Consider yourself lucky that this guy was passive...there are some nutjobs out there that will beat you to death with a 5 iron if you do something like that.

[iacas]

Here's how this one went down:

Guy A: Makes a mistake not blocking the stall or noticing earlier that someone else was going to use it.

Guy B: Escalates the situation unnecessarily.

Guy A: Escalates the situation unnecessarily.

Guy B: Escalates the situation unnecessarily.

Any of those could have been avoided. But of the "unnecessary escalations" you're guilty of two of them. The first isn't that bad, but the third is worse than the second.

[Golfingdad]

Really??

Not sure what this says about me (or where I come from), but I will take insults over getting decked any day of the week.

BTW, I have been threatened to be decked (face punching he called it) by a really big guy. I was .....very scared. If I had not known it before, I was certainly reassured of it then, getting decked is very bad...insults...not so bad.

Agreed.  Not counting one or two silly incidents while playing hockey (where we were wearing big gloves and helmets) I have never once been involved in a situation where it even came close to escalating to punches.  I've never even got up in anybody's face, had anybody get up in mine, nothing even close to any of this.  And I'm 100% confident I will go the rest of my life without it happening as well.  It's childish.

[jetsknicks1]

Agreed.  Not counting one or two silly incidents while playing hockey (where we were wearing big gloves and helmets) I have never once been involved in a situation where it even came close to escalating to punches.  I've never even got up in anybody's face, had anybody get up in mine, nothing even close to any of this.  And I'm 100% confident I will go the rest of my life without it happening as well.  It's childish.

Exactly. I gotta admit that I get a chuckle out of reading things like "I got up in his face" or "Where I come from, somebody's getting decked", are we all still in junior high? I couldn't care less if some stranger decides to toss out an insult at me, the guy doesn't know me at all, therefore his opinion of me means nothing. There is a small handful of people whose opinion of me, means something to me and some guy on the driving range isn't one of them.

[rkim291968]

Why does that matter? I am sure he heard it, it wasn't directed at him. It certainly didn't warrant telling me to fuc myself.

Shoes on the other foot, I would've apologized for telling him it was saved  after he dumped his balls on the ground.

You don't have to buy it.

I buy it.  After all, you were moving out of the stall which acknowledges you (unintentionally) made a mistake and is making amends (you don't like it b/c it involves picking up the balls, etc).  I'd mumbled a few words to myself , too.  If I were in your situation, I would have snapped back at him for his F!#$ comment but I would not have get on his face within 6 inches.   A few times someone did that to me, my (former boxer) reflex response were a right cross to the guy's chin.

[bubble]

apparently you both were not in your greatest day.

maybe he doesn't like jesus christ or something.

anyway, nothing physical happened.

how was his wife ?

[MrDC]

The guy should have either said something before you dropped your bucket, or put something there, and certainly should have apologized for allowing you to dump the balls, he also should have kept his mouth shut after your words, he screwed up, and besides, saving stalls is not really allowed, so you were being kind.

But you also were wrong for making the situation worse than it had to be, no need to get so upset over moving stalls.

And message boards are a great place to show bravado, the reality is no matter how angry people get, it rarely comes to blows, even in NY, where I'm sitting right now.

[Lihu]

Really??

Not sure what this says about me (or where I come from), but I will take insults over getting decked any day of the week.

BTW, I have been threatened to be decked (face punching he called it) by a really big guy. I was .....very scared. If I had not known it before, I was certainly reassured of it then, getting decked is very bad...insults...not so bad.

Right, you don't live with an insult for the rest of your life like a broken jaw. They never quite heal. . .