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The "Stop Conning Yourself" Thread

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I spend a ridiculous amount of time on the range. I have absolutely zero confidence on the course. I've spent 6 hours on the range many times with focused practicing. It never brings itself to the course. I feel my swing is pretty good, then on video I think it looks awful. I'm lazy about taping my swing which is the only reason I haven't joined Evolvr. I CAN hit drives over 300yds but my average is really around 270yds. I've never had a complete live fitting done. I have no sense of feel when it comes to distance on the putting greens. I cannot read greens, period. My goals: I've just moved to Florida and am going to start playing more. I have to. I'm going to set up my phone caddy and film my swing and/or visit the guys in Pennsylvania. Just gotta get my affairs settled in my new home/work. I want to be a 5 or less hcp. That's it.

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Up until this year I definitely conned myself.  My handicap was dropping artificially (my current handicap still isn't as low as it was last year) by playing golf with members who preferred vanity capping over playing real golf.  It seems some believe if you aren't vanity capping you're sandbagging and I got caught up in it.

This year I found golfers that like to play strictly by the rules so all penalties get counted and no mulligans, foot wedges or gimme's .  It hurt for a bit to see the handicap go back up but I'm seeing real improvement this year versus last.

This year I'm trying to be 100% honest about my game, I have tons of room for improvement in all areas but my ball striking with everything but driver is much improved over last year.  My instructor believes I'm too hard on myself because I still consider the good shots to be my aberration swing and my not so good shots my normal swing.

On the course I still con myself into thinking I can hit a tough shot that 2 out of 3 times I'll screw up and it costs me strokes.

If you asked me this question last year there would be plenty more to write but fortunately I had the awakening at the beginning of the year and I've tried to look at my game as brutally honest as I can and insist my instructor do the same.

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Hi my name is Patrick and I really am an alcoholic. Also just a mirror image of my golfing past. I started playing this game at the age of 7.My father was a college professor and a hell of a golfer in his own right. He would drop me off at the golf course on his way to work and pick me back up when his work day was over. I was playing 36 holes a day weather permitting up until about the age of 14. Made the High School varsity golf team at the age of 15 as a freshman. By the time I was a junior some of my friends had convinced me. That golf was really not that cool of a sport to play. So I pretty much quit playing and really enjoyed smoking weed listening to music and just hanging out with my friends. I took the game back up around the age of 24, as some people that I worked with were really getting into it and they loved to play. We all worked 3rd shift so every morning at 7am when our shift was over. We would head to the golf course to play. This lasted for about 6 years and I was able to break 80 almost every time I played. So at the age of 30 I started fishing bass tournaments with a friend I grew up with who really liked to smoke weed and fish. I found out that I really Liked to do that as well. Almost 10 years went by before I ever picked up a club again. In those 10 years I was blessed with 4 children, all girls. I was working for a good company that payed well and had good benefits. As I slowly moved up the ladder the more pressure I felt about the responsibility I had for the company. When in reality I should have been more worried about my family life. The job I had at work required drug testing, so no more getting high. That was not an easy adjustment because weed helped me not stress out over every little thing. So I guess you could say I took up drinking kind of late in life. Never enjoyed it  as a teenager or as a young adult for that matter. Although I have maybe only missed 2 days of work in the last 8 years because of drinking. I have a problem with alcohol because I can't handle the pressure's that work and family has brought me. So my answer to try and get a better grip on life was to take Golf back up again. Worked pretty good at the start. Within 2 years I was back to breaking 80, Although not nearly as often. Then somehow along the way my drinking was getting back to were it once was. About the time my dad quit playing was not good for me. He is 74 years old now and just does not want to play anymore. Most of the people I play with now like to drink so I fit right in I guess. My golf game over the last 2 years has diminished greatly. I think I only shot in the 70's maybe 10 times last year. This year I have only broke 80 a half dozen times. Although I have lost around 10yds per club, My putting is what I'm conning myself about. The fact that I use to be such a good putter makes me tell myself that I still got it. My scores say something different as I keep track of my putts. The difference this year on trying to break 80 is all in the putting for me. Yesterday I hit 15 greens in regulation and still shot an 83. I'm not in denial about my sand game  though as I know it is bad. I just don't hit into the sand that often, so I don't get enough practice. LOL  Sorry if my post seemed more about my alcohol addiction, it just came out that way. No need to tell me I need to get help because I know the damage I'm doing to my body, and the fact I need to be a better husband and father. I have more important issues on hand at the moment. Like trying to get back to consistently shooting in the mid 70's. If I could only play this game called golf and life. Like I play the 19th hole I would have the world by the balls.

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Resting, might have a minor MCL injury from overworking myself 2 days ago hitting too many balls (almost 500) then playing 18 holes yesterday.

You might be conning yourself if you tell people that you only play golf for your kids.-Just teasing you a bit @Lihu ! You do have a bit of a problem though-Just own up to it! :-) I'm conning myself if I think that I ever deserved to play on the PGA Tour, but it was much easier back then. Sometimes I catch myself thinking about the guys these days and how I could show them a thing or two but the truth is just the opposite. Only thing I could show them is how to stretch a dollar.

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Hi my name is Patrick and I really am an alcoholic. Also just a mirror image of my golfing past. I started playing this game at the age of 7.My father was a college professor and a hell of a golfer in his own right. He would drop me off at the golf course on his way to work and pick me back up when his work day was over. I was playing 36 holes a day weather permitting up until about the age of 14. Made the High School varsity golf team at the age of 15 as a freshman. By the time I was a junior some of my friends had convinced me. That golf was really not that cool of a sport to play. So I pretty much quit playing and really enjoyed smoking weed listening to music and just hanging out with my friends. I took the game back up around the age of 24, as some people that I worked with were really getting into it and they loved to play. We all worked 3rd shift so every morning at 7am when our shift was over. We would head to the golf course to play. This lasted for about 6 years and I was able to break 80 almost every time I played. So at the age of 30 I started fishing bass tournaments with a friend I grew up with who really liked to smoke weed and fish. I found out that I really Liked to do that as well. Almost 10 years went by before I ever picked up a club again. In those 10 years I was blessed with 4 children, all girls. I was working for a good company that payed well and had good benefits. As I slowly moved up the ladder the more pressure I felt about the responsibility I had for the company. When in reality I should have been more worried about my family life. The job I had at work required drug testing, so no more getting high. That was not an easy adjustment because weed helped me not stress out over every little thing. So I guess you could say I took up drinking kind of late in life. Never enjoyed it  as a teenager or as a young adult for that matter. Although I have maybe only missed 2 days of work in the last 8 years because of drinking. I have a problem with alcohol because I can't handle the pressure's that work and family has brought me. So my answer to try and get a better grip on life was to take Golf back up again. Worked pretty good at the start. Within 2 years I was back to breaking 80, Although not nearly as often. Then somehow along the way my drinking was getting back to were it once was. About the time my dad quit playing was not good for me. He is 74 years old now and just does not want to play anymore. Most of the people I play with now like to drink so I fit right in I guess. My golf game over the last 2 years has diminished greatly. I think I only shot in the 70's maybe 10 times last year. This year I have only broke 80 a half dozen times. Although I have lost around 10yds per club, My putting is what I'm conning I'm conning myself about. The fact that I use to be such a good putter makes me tell myself that I still got it. My scores say something different as I keep track of my putts. The difference this year on trying to break 80 is all in the putting for me. Yesterday I hit 15 greens in regulation and still shot an 83. I'm not in denial about my sand  though as I know it is bad. I just don't hit into the sand that often, so I don't get enough practice. LOL  Sorry if my post seemed more about my alcohol addiction, it just came out that way. No need to tell me I need to get help because I know the damage I'm doing to my body, and the fact I need to be a better husband and father. I have more important issues on hand at the moment. Like trying to get back to consistently shooting in the mid 70's. If I could only play this game called golf and life. Like I play the 19th hole I would have the world by the balls.


Courageous post. In my opinion, there is no other magical approach in golf or life than a will to acknowledge status quo, whatever that it is and keep chipping at it. One thing is for certain, you can't/shouldn't ever stop.

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I feel I'm pretty good at assessing my game. My putting is ok now, not great, but not a glaring weakness anymore. I need to spend more time on the short game, more specifically, hitting from tough lies. My long game is steadily improving. My scores are starting to come down but I don't play enough rounds to affect my handicap much. The biggest thing I con myself about is changing the picture. I'm pretty good at doing slower swings to do it, but I tend to move onto new pieces too quickly. I always convince myself that I have it down when I don't, not 100%, and it doesn't stick because I've moved onto something else. I need to trust this, because sticking to one priority piece and not rushing to new ones will actually make me improve faster in the long run.

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[quote name="Lihu" url="/t/71030/my-swing-lihu/594#post_1184892"]Resting, might have a minor MCL injury from overworking myself 2 days ago hitting too many balls (almost 500) then playing 18 holes yesterday.

You might be conning yourself if you tell people that you only play golf for your kids.-Just teasing you a bit @Lihu ! You do have a bit of a problem though-Just own up to it! :-) I'm conning myself if I think that I ever deserved to play on the PGA Tour, but it was much easier back then. Sometimes I catch myself thinking about the guys these days and how I could show them a thing or two but the truth is just the opposite. Only thing I could show them is how to stretch a dollar.[/quote] Yeah, you're right. :-D I'm Lihu, I'm a golfaholic and a hack. I hit far too many balls to improve and need to learn to practice properly. Lack of focus and proper practice leads me to terrible rounds, and the few lucky rounds delude me even further. It's time to focus on practicing properly. As I'm addicted to this game, I need to improve. That feels better, thanks Phil! :beer:

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I'm conning myself into thinking I don't need a lesson. It'll never happen for a variety of reasons (unless Butch or Hank ring my doorbell) but I know I'm fooling myself.

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Interesting thread - there's a few things that I reckon I'm only just starting to understand and I'll be interested to check this post again in a couple of months time and see what came of it.

Driving: My driving can be very good, but gets me into trouble far too often. I've been conning myself that I can take the club out on most holes, when in fact, 5 iron/hybrid may be the smarter play.

Putting: For YEARS, I conned myself that I was an ok putter. Sure, I had days where nothing dropped, but that was just luck, right? I am a dreadful putter, and after two lessons on it, I'm only just starting to get that. I want putting to be a strength of my game rather than the glaring weakness, which it is at the moment. More good practice will do this along with lots of tracking of stats from 3, 8 and 30 feet.

Irons: I'm not a good ball-striker and that portion of LSW really rung home. I am perfectly capable of thinning it, fatting it, slicing or pulling at any given moment and just because I generally hit the ball in the right direction, does not make me a good ball-striker. Nothing has made that more clear than the improvements I've had through my evolvr lessons, and suddenly finding the centre of the face that bit more regularly. I'm still not good, but I want to be.

Course Management: I was dreadful at this; I'm getting better, but I'm still conned by my own ego again and again. I don't know why, as I'm usually way past any of my playing partners with the driver, so it's not like I have a point to prove.


Most of all though, for years, I conned myself that I practised well because I practised lots. Particularly the last year, when I've really got serious, I've spent hours upon hours in the nets or on the range, honing the swing at 100% speed. Utterly stupid, and I have committed to slower practice (admittedly only a few days ago), and already seen results. If I can't be a great golfer, I intend to be a damn good practiser.

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I wish they would post something like this in the clubhouse. While I am the opposite, I lack confidence in most things I do and tend to be overly self deprecating to the point of being annoying most are not. The head pro where I play most has twice mentioned I am too hard on myself, he actually declined to give me a lesson knowing I am difficult to please. We actually take lessons from the same guy but he is semi-retired and evidently me not being a member at his private course means he only has time for the members. But the guys in men's league and course regulars I know are total dreamers.

I encounter a couple guys every week that area always just coming off the course as I am getting there. It's the same story every time Jon will greet me by saying oh man we tore it up today I shot 77 and Kenny shot 80. These guys are terrible terrible golfers. I say this as a realistic terrible golfer these guys really suck, funky swings, short from the tee, no real idea what they are even doing etc. no way in hell they sniff 80 and certainly nothing in the 70's, couldn't even break 90 and probably would struggle to keep it under 100.

I haven't put in the time this year and my golf has suffered. My handicap it ticking up and I've only broken 80 four times in 2015 I think. I play perpetual golf in the 40-44 a side range and it bugs the shit out of me. To the point I nearly quit a few months ago, didn't even touch a club for several weeks. So if I am conning myself the con is believing I have the time and dedication to continue to improve. Golf is turning into a way to enjoy my day off and drink beer and I need to learn that this is okay. I can't continue to shoot 80 something and go home feeling defeated.

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Wait! ... you mean I am not a hung porn star? :-D I think conning yourself can work both ways as well ...sometimes we are better than we give ourselves credit and are too critical ... A great topic ... Hi, I am Ken and iSukGolf ... there I said it. The secret is out! :beer:

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I have a problem, and I think almost all of us have this problem, thinking I'm so good on the range and then terrible on the course. Its so easy to forget that huge slice or shank on the range when you can just grab another ball and hit a good one right after, on the course you will remember that bad shot all day as you have to walk over there and play it. I have made it a point to track my bad shots on the range, try to remember them more than the good ones so I can assess the risk of a particular club on the course.

You are so right. I've always been this way until recently. 5 great shots, a few decent ones, a few iffy ones, and one block that would end up 2 fairways over. I would always ignore the block as if because it is only one out of 10 it is irrelevant......lol When I finally had this epiphany was when I was having a practice round on the course and dropping multiple balls to get used to my new irons on approach shots. I blistered an 8 iron about 20 feet from the pin. I felt like "there is my typical shot." But because I was trying to figure out my swing with the new irons, I dropped three more balls. One went off way right and across the cart path, one went left into a bunker, and one flew the green. Funny how I just accepted the beautiful shot as perfectly normal. :)

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My average drive is 185 yards...and that is up since Im starting to draw it.

I want to get a lot better but I dont practice at all....play a lot but no practice.

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Whatever it is… Admit it. Cleanse the soul. It'll do you wonders.

I don't think that I could hit my driver straight if my life depended on it. Snap hook. Violent push..180-200 yards. I hit all of my other clubs well, but I'm about to give up on my driver...

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I don't think that I could hit my driver straight if my life depended on it. Snap hook. Violent push..180-200 yards. I hit all of my other clubs well, but I'm about to give up on my driver...

So you feel like you con yourself by keeping driver in the bag?

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I think a lot of people struggle with admitting that they don't live up to their own perceptions of themselves. So much in life can be faked, blamed on someone else or unproven until you get somewhere that you have to make good or perform in front of others, as in golf. My problem is not that I am conning myself, but that I don't appreciate what I do well. I often get success and then set up another obstacle to make it tougher... Not a good way of doing things. I'd say I don't like things to come easy but I am sure it is deeper than that...

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