Favorite Golf Quotes

[ChetlovesMer]

"Why am I using a new putter? … Because the old one didn't float too well."

- Craig Stadler

[3jacker]

"GET IN THE HOLE YOU ****** *****!!!!!"

Jeff S., high school golf team, final hole with crowd of coaches, parents and students from 4 schools looking on. Yelled so loud you could easily hear it from 200 yds away.

It was a pitching wedge from about 125 yds.  It lipped out.

It was such a horrible thing to say. Racist, degrading to women, and completely inappropriate given the circumstances.  And LOUD.  But, it's burned into my memory and I do sometimes recall it when looking at a ball tracking for the pin and I feel it has a chance.  He ruined me.  Perhaps I should sue.

Edited March 4, 2019 by 3jacker

[bwdial]

"Run like you stole somethin'!" 

Dicky Pride to his drive on his way to winning the St. Jude way back in the '90s.

Edited March 5, 2019 by bwdial

[bkuehn1952]

Attributed to Walter Hagen.  All the quotes seem in character but I did not check on the source.

No one remembers who came in second.    

I would rather be of clear mind and decision with the wrong club than with an unclear mind and the right club. 

I never wanted to be a millionaire. I just wanted to live like one.

He (his opponent) may have gone to bed three hours ago but he knows who he is playing. You can rest assured that he hasn't slept a wink.

Why waste good shots in practice when you might need them in a match?

Miss a putt for $2000? Not likely!
    
 

[3jacker]

Tom Watson finishing 2nd at the 2009 Open Championship.

I remember that 2nd place finish.  

Cink ruined it for everyone. How selfish.

[GolfLug]

Backhanded compliment: "Best drive you've hit all day".

Smack: "Great lag" after leaving a 5 footer short. 

[dagolfer18]

I was playing in a scramble tournament, and on one hole, one of my buddies hit a shot into some thick rough and said, “That’s in the ghondike.” That’s what he calls rough. I liked that so much that I have started using the term.

[pganapathy]

One that still sticks with me after 20 years.  I was playing in South Africa and was paired with a couple of kids my age.  Not too long after we all had metal woods, graduating from wooden woods.

On the tee box, their line about hitting it far was:

LET THE BIG DOG EAT

Was good fun getting into a driving contest with them

[Cantankerish]

Works better when you say it out loud...

I hit five

yelled fore

wrote three

lost two

drank one

[ChetlovesMer]

After leaving a putt just an inch or two short: "That's a Central American Country".... "It needs one more revolution."

After missing a putt that broke way more than expected. "That's a Rock Hudson" … "It looks straight but its not." 

After sailing a shot through a tiny gap in the trees instead of punching out to the fairway. "That's an OJ Simpson." … "You shouldn't have done it, but you got away with it." 

[dennyjones]

Holding up a thumb and first finger showing about 1/2",   "Missed it by...that much"

[xrayvizhen]

"The Japanese eat, sleep and breathe golf; the only thing they don't do is actually play it because to get on a course you have to make a reservation roughly 137 years in advance, which means that by the time you actually get to the first tee you are deceased. Of course, in golf this is not really a handicap."

Dave Barry

 

 

Edited November 5, 2019 by xrayvizhen

[Killa]

A friend of mine had a business partner come over from Japan. He wanted to play golf and it was December. There was only one course open, a 9 hole course, and it was right around 32°F. There was sleet falling and our guys were thinking there is no way we play. 
 

But they did play. And they didn’t turn in after the first round but played the whole 18 holes. They were all freezing and miserable. 
 

And after the round the Japanese guy says:”There are only two types of weather for golf. Good and very good.”😂

[Patch]

I have heard "gawd damnit" quoted over, and over a few times. 

[Double Mocha Man]

Pro:  "It broke the wrong way!"  When in fact the putt broke the right way and the pro and his caddie mis-read the putt.

[Vinsk]

‘In the throws of a deep depression, staring out the window to a cold darkness, my life being pondered and all that has come and gone leaving gaping holes in my soul it came to me; GODD*****, I’m casting.’

[Double Mocha Man]

14 minutes ago, Vinsk said:

‘In the throws of a deep depression, staring out the window to a cold darkness, my life being pondered and all that has come and gone leaving gaping holes in my soul it came to me; GODD*****, I’m casting.’

"The Putt and the Pendulum"?  Edgar Allan Poe?

[Slim_Pivot]

This isn’t really a golf quote, but I’ll never forget it.

This older fellow used to be a Sargent Major in the marines or something. Amazing ball striking, terrible putting.

after another missed putt. He screamed, “if I miss one more putt, I’m gonna cut my c**k off!” He then hit himself very hard between the eyes with the toe of his putter lol