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sophia K

Not So Easy To Find The Right Golf Friends

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7 hours ago, Kevlar10 said:

I have about 1/2 a dozen friends who always like to talk golf but never play

I have some friends from college like that. We always talk about playing when we get together and never do.

7 hours ago, Kevlar10 said:

I have one golf buddy now who doesn’t share my enthusiasm for the game

I'm a moderator on a golf forum. I doubt I'll ever meet anybody that I haven't met through this site that shares my enthusiasm for the game. I've met some pretty cool people over the years that I see regularly at the courses I play, but nobody I'd consider a friend.

7 hours ago, Kevlar10 said:

Maybe it’s me.

It probably is. Oh, sorry, was I projecting there? 😉

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I play alone some which I don't mind. It really allows me to focus on my game and enjoy the day. I also play with one other person that I met early this year at the driving range, but it is hard to find folks that are around my age, skill level, and share some similar interest. Me and another guy got teamed up a couple times on a busy course and one group of guys we were teamed up with got crap faced drunk - tossers.

I wonder what a good organization is to join that one might meet other golfers in their local area. My next years step is to see what I can find out there and hopefully find someone to play with.

 

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I play as a single most of the time. I have a few good friends who golf, but due to busy lives, our common availability rarely syncs up. When the it does work out, it is nice to play with certain friends, other friends not so much. Some personalities are just no fun to golf with.

I don't mind playing as a single, and unless I'm paired up with insufferable people, I prefer it the majority of the time.

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1 hour ago, luchnia said:

I wonder what a good organization is to join that one might meet other golfers in their local area. My next years step is to see what I can find out there and hopefully find someone to play with.

Other than joining the PGA Tour I'd recommend you play the same course for awhile and upon checking in ask the staff if there are any twosomes/threesomes scheduled in the next half hour and inquire if they'd mind you joining them.  You'll know by the 6th hole if you're a good fit (skillwise and friendship-wise) with one or more of the others.  You're going to need to somewhat match their sense of humor or sense of drama... and you'll need to be in the same ballpark handicap-wise.  Then say, "Hey, I'm playing such-and-such course next week... want to join up?"  Get phone number(s) and find out if they're open to receiving a text, or if a call would be better.  Follow through.  But remember, when you hook up with a threesome it might be because their usual 4th was unable to make it that day.  Usual regular foursome blood runs thicker than water...

1 hour ago, luchnia said:

 

 

1 hour ago, Darkfrog said:

I play as a single most of the time. I have a few good friends who golf, but due to busy lives, our common availability rarely syncs up. When the it does work out, it is nice to play with certain friends, other friends not so much. Some personalities are just no fun to golf with.

I don't mind playing as a single, and unless I'm paired up with insufferable people, I prefer it the majority of the time.

We have a group of 60+ guys (age, not quantity) at my course who have it figured out.  They play only on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays.  There's roughly 10 of them.  At that age there are dental, doctor, car, wife, girlfriend, etc. appointments.  They all try to pre-schedule those things on Monday, Wednesday or Friday.

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I lucked out. A coworker is part of a men's club at a local course. A couple years ago, he asked if I wanted to play one weekend to fill out a foursome. I've been playing there most weekends ever since. There's only 1 or 2 guys in the club that I'd rather not golf with. Joining the club ($110/yr) isn't the same as being a member of the golf course but the fee includes your GHIN. I still have to pay for each round, but the men's club organizes various games/events during the season and you have a chance to win some small amount of money (usually $10 - $40) depending on how well you do (net and gross score). My coworker actually reserves about 5 tee times each Sat and Sun and sets up another game too. You just let him know if you want to play and he randomly assigns the foursomes. 

I highly recommend looking into joining if the opportunity presents itself. 

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I honestly don't care who I am paired with.  I currently play single or in a two-ball and am game to join others.  However, I always look to see if I can find good players to pair with, because that kinda lets me focus on my game and improves it.

I understand the friendship and fun part of a good golfing group, but for me a good game takes priority.

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My golf guys, yesterday...

We have 2 groups, the riders to first, they are in their 80’s and then we walk and follow.  I kill a drive on #3.  It’s driveable in the summer for me but not now in New England, ball loses 30 yards off the tee with the weather.  Get near the green, don’t see it, look everywhere it could have kicked, but it was smoked and right at the green.

One of our guys looks and it’s in the hole.  Our guys go nuts, me not really because I’m still stunned.  Our other group is on the 4th tee and I yell to them that we’re gonna be drinking!  they are laughing and start walking down.  Angelo puts his arm around me and says,” I put it in the hole.... but it was only a couple feet from going in”.

We all started laughing and calling him a ball buster... they are the reason I enjoy playing.

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39 minutes ago, Typhoon92 said:

My golf guys, yesterday...

We have 2 groups, the riders to first, they are in their 80’s and then we walk and follow.  I kill a drive on #3.  It’s driveable in the summer for me but not now in New England, ball loses 30 yards off the tee with the weather.  Get near the green, don’t see it, look everywhere it could have kicked, but it was smoked and right at the green.

One of our guys looks and it’s in the hole.  Our guys go nuts, me not really because I’m still stunned.  Our other group is on the 4th tee and I yell to them that we’re gonna be drinking!  they are laughing and start walking down.  Angelo puts his arm around me and says,” I put it in the hole.... but it was only a couple feet from going in”.

We all started laughing and calling him a ball buster... they are the reason I enjoy playing.

Good story! So you conceded yourself the eagle?  As well you should have...

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I play once a week with my wife, once  a week with 9 hole mens after work and once a week on my own.

Really enjoy my wife's company. We just play, enjoy the game and each others company..

I met one guy at mens that we get along well...we both walk...both show up weekly and are both engaged in the game.

There are a couple guys at work who I get out with two or three times and we get along well.

Otherwise I play alone, get matched up with strangers and play my own game. For me, I can't stand folks who aren't interested in the game...are more interested in politics or whatever opinions they want to spout off during a round.

Over hundreds of muni rounds I've only met a couple of folks that I've been matched up with that are really engaged in the game. One rides a cart alone, chain smokes cigarettes and brings a martini shaker with him. He is great to play with. He's engaged in the game.

Another is an older out of work plumber who is a hunter and brings smoked meat (which he's done himself) sandwiches which he shares with all parties and always smokes some weed on the 10th hole. But he's engaged.

The other group I like to be paired up with are the hard core lady golfers who are often members in my wife's league and who come out to just play golf. They are engaged.

 

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Define your interpretation of engaged please. Do you attribute skill level to this? Frequency of play? Just curious. 

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3 minutes ago, jmanbooyaa said:

Define your interpretation of engaged please. Do you attribute skill level to this? Frequency of play? Just curious. 

No worries-I play 50-70 times per year during our short northern season. I take it seriously. 

Skill level, frequency of play--nope, doesn't bother me...shit I'm only a 19

Engaged to me means: ...being on time for the first hole...not spending a round fishing for water balls...paying attention to others around them...being reasonably courteous...not treating the round like a night out at the bar...it goes on...thats the extreme of course

Did they come out to play golf? 

I'm not a stickler for golf etiquette and realise golf newbies have no knowledge of that.. I realize it takes all types and the industry needs the dollars...and realize as a single on a muni I get stuck with what I get...

Their just not engaged in the golf activity

 

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Having played out of private golf clubs as well as public courses, I always found a regular foursome.  Eventually.  We all have different criteria for what makes good playing buddies.  Being a decent player I would try to play very early and eventually I would meet a good group.  You have to play pretty regularly at a public course.  If someone wants to play regularly with low or scratch players, be quick, don't step in their putting or thru line, and never move around making all kinds of noise when they are teeing off.  All of those transgressions are much worse than political discussions.

 

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On 2/21/2019 at 6:05 AM, sophia K said:

Like any other sports, it's not so easy to find the right golf friends with similar skills, similar schedules, similar goal, right chemistry.... and of course in the same area. 

Some of them can be cost prohibitive, but that is why I belong to a club. There are over 300 playing members but I pretty much know most of them, particularly the regulars. There are only a few I have to avoid.😎 

On 2/5/2020 at 5:11 PM, Rippy_72 said:

  If someone wants to play regularly with low or scratch players, be quick, don't step in their putting or thru line, and never move around making all kinds of noise when they are teeing off. 

 

I would think that you would want to take that approach with anyone, no matter their skill level. 

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On 2/5/2020 at 5:11 PM, Rippy_72 said:

Having played out of private golf clubs as well as public courses, I always found a regular foursome.  Eventually.  We all have different criteria for what makes good playing buddies.  Being a decent player I would try to play very early and eventually I would meet a good group.  You have to play pretty regularly at a public course.  If someone wants to play regularly with low or scratch players, be quick, don't step in their putting or thru line, and never move around making all kinds of noise when they are teeing off.  All of those transgressions are much worse than political discussions.

 

Don’t you want to do that with all players or just low handicappers?

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i suppose im lucky in that im a member of a private club. even there the social cliques are entrenched. playing with another group is something akin to being a freshman at a new school. not everyone in the group wants you. my best advice in all cases is to be completely yourself. which i what I try to practice. if you relax and just allow them to see who you are you'll eventually drift into a compatible group. otherwise there will always be a feeling of discomfort.

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Interesting thread. I came across it a little late (actually, a lot late, like a year). This discussion always comes up with my wife and I. She's not a golfer, just a very social person with lots of what she calls friends, while I say they are really just acquaintances. I'm just the opposite. I have a few very close friends, none of whom play golf. As a result I normally sign up at my local golf course as a single, play with whomever fate decrees, and have never become "friends" with any of them. My wife is always flabbergasted about this. She asks, "why can't you make any friends?"  I've been thinking that maybe this is just a man / woman thing?

I also joined a mid-week golf league and enjoy playing with some of the guys but there are others who I avoid playing with at all costs. They either play too slow or too fast, are too talky, too quiet, or just suck. I don't mind at all playing as a single either, so I'm content but my wife thinks there's something wrong with me. 

She's probably right.

Edited by xrayvizhen

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My problem is finding a couple so my wife & I can play with them.  Most of guys I know that golf do not have spouses that golf.

 

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